December 31, 2009

the C word

The Dalai Lama says that it is not enough to be Compassionate, one must ACT. I hear that as all the good intentions in the world may stop individuals from negative behaviors, but the balance doesn't tip in favour of our survival until we act upon our good intentions.

We are of the world, we live in the world, we can change the world.

One of the greatest things about the different groups of friends that share themselves with me are their communal acts of compassion. Physical, emotional, financial assistance where it is needed even when it is unasked. Big hearts with many many feet.

I have no new years resolutions this year.

I will practice random acts of compassion.

Join me.

December 30, 2009

woe is me

The ongoing saga of how dk's knees are not happy with the load bearing sichumatation:

As for the weight loss I am still at a positive net loss even with the christmas interruption but it is nowhere near what I wanted it to be. Oh well, get over yourself, it is what it is. I did however want to drop some of the mass to ease my mobility on dry land.

I slipped on the ice early in December and did a killer job on the knee. It was behaving better - not locking and no backtalk for about a week before xmas. I slept over with the grands xmas eve - on the floor - and I think on one of the up/down occasions I must have released some granule of arthritic calcium build up which is now causing me random crunches squishes and general wobbliness.

Remember - I am being very careful because I leave for my trip to Jamaica in 18 DAYS!!!

This morning, all is good. Got in the car drove to work. As I am getting out of the car the left knee decides to turn lefter, instead of going straight and I almost ended up on my ass in the parking lot muck - thank you steering wheel. Clear pavement - no ice.

An hour and a half later - it's a bit swollen - not too much. It is not hot to the touch. It does hurt like a bitchbuggerdamn but tylenol should deal with that.

It's New Year's Eve tomorrow and I am supposed to be going out to the beach for a freeforall with my friends and jello everywhere * heavy sigh* and it looks like I may just be staying home looking after the wobbleators. figures.

Anyone know where I can get a telescopic or otherwise expandable cane to take with me?

December 28, 2009

one down

What a busy day today. Pretty productive for a day off but it was so gorgeous I had to be outside snow or no snow.

Up early, picked up Nola and went to Brown Sugar for the rays. Did a little retail therapy and found my solution for a travel purse. It's an Ameribag - baby version with lots of interior net pockets for both my cameraa, spare batteries, chargers, netbook, go drive etc. along with all the normal stuff I keep in my purse and a passport pocket. Ergonomic, solid zippers and bright bright red ;) to match the luggage. Picked up some nice big yellow sunshine luggage tags as well - they are wearing raybans.

Then it was on to the Tire to get what Kory tells me is a beach essential - the BUBBA Keg mug. It's stainless, 52 oz, thermal, sealable, it floats and has it's own red stripe bottle opener on the bottom. Done.

Scrumptious lunch with Miss PJ at Ricky;s - good food and great service. YAY!

Watched a movie with Deb, turkey leftovers for supper, and then finished sewing my linen outfit. Natural loose weave linen with fringes on the skirt and top - smashing.

Tomorrow start another of the sewing projects to be done by Saturday.

December 27, 2009

gotta love dem blues

Leadbelly, Muddy Waters, Billie, Hopkins, Hooker, Bessie Smith, Katie Webster, TBone, Robert Johnson, Blind John Davis, Pete Chatham, Dinah Washington.

Thank you Murray & Nola

December 26, 2009

holiday GIST

1. No family drama in 3 days of visiting and very happy grandkids. It's a miracle.
2. The new Scrabble Diamond board plus kids who kick your ass soundly on the very first game. Note to self get game exorcised.
3. A car that starts when I need it.
4. Clear highways on christmas day.
5. A vintage I Love Lucy purse and wallet, Hempz lotion and new tanning goggles,Chapters cards,new board games, Blues, the last early edition of LOTR books to complete my set, a buddhist knot and the prayer flags I have forgotten at 3 festivals this year, delicious aromatic lip balm, soaps and girlie stuff, and a repaired handmade afghan from the girl, and a safe holiday for my extended framily.

done in

It is finito for another year. ev erything appears to have gone well AND no major family squabbles.

Thank the hundred little gods.

Happy 30th anniversary to Dad & Viv, and 1st to Patty & Jeff. Huzzah!

December 23, 2009

just about done

Attempting to clear my desk so that the two next short weeks, while greatly appreciated as time off, do not sink my "catchupedness" before I leave for my trip.
I'm watching the snow swirl past the 12 floor windows and I cannot see the street. I can however, see the top of the Sask Hotel which I couldn't an hour or so ago. Let's hope it stays this way. THe annual year end review is done and it turned out well "very good" right in the middle of "excellent" or "solid" - I'll take it. My boss took Lorna and I out for lunch today - first time in over 3 years and it was quite lovely. I also managed to meet a personal goal, which even though it seems I have had an uneding string of maladies this year,I accomplished not having taken any ESL Extended sick leave this year - first time in probably 5 years. Yay me!
Presents are purchased and wrapped and cards are written - except for the parts of the Wii that are still charging.
So now it's stop for a pack of smokes - a goal I failed though not miserably. I'm maintaining around a pak - pak and a half a week, so long as I don't go to the pub. The Ladies Auxillary will be missing some members this evening so Malibu and I may need to make up for them. Oh darn.
To everyone travelling the flatlands miserable blizzardy highways - be vedy vedy careful and a hapy santa season to all!

December 21, 2009

26 days left

I must limit my interwebbing or my lovely cruise wear will not be ready in time to be packed.

December 20, 2009

another d day

Two wills colliding before the first breath. She told me when I was 28 that she knew before I was born that it would be a struggle that she wasn't likely to win. At 31 I lost when she left me behind.

None of the bad stuff matters now.

I wasn't ready. I am still not ready. I've had 4 hours sleep since 6am Friday morning. I am heartsick and lonely and still lost. I am afraid to go to sleep because I wake up weeping. For most of the rest of the year I can tuck it away in a corner deluding myself that I am happy, that everything is okay/will be okay, yet my holiday season seems always to be haunted.

I can no longer hear her voice. I cannot build her image in my imagination. The aroma of doublemint or juicy fruit is missing. There is only this huge hole in my heart that refuses to heal and on days like today I don't think I want it to.

All the other deaths - I can deal.

My default is to hermitize so I push myself and bury myself in the business of the season, surrounding myself with those I love. I avoid being alone where I can, but the ache it still creeps in.

You would be so proud of the people that my kids are turning out to be and my grandkids miss you even though they never got a chance to meet you.

Wish you were here.

December 17, 2009

Happy bday Seeester

My 2 years yonger seester is 46 today, so anyone who sees Patty should sing either Patricia the stripper or the song about Cow-Patty and her moped named flame ... old old joke. Don't worry - she'll get it ;)

Love you.

December 14, 2009

far and away ...

Well arrggghhh!

And my my my - my internal rose coloured glasses don't get worn much any more though you can be sure I'll be taking them to Jamaica with me;) I found out yesterday that I'm allowed to take a single butane lighter with me which is all well and good because I am still terrible with matches.

Isn't it amazing that the lives we touch so long ago are still hearing tidbits even the the years have intervened? The crews I hang with on a regular basis these days are substantially different then when I was frantically recapturing my lost youth right after the 2nd divorce. I've been over that for quite some time now, and have decided to remain forever 8 years old with all the wonder in the world that entails.

Round tables. Hmmmm I have a penchant for round tables, You can see everyone you're with and I love watching the expressions dance across peoples faces as they recount one tale or another. Now where the round tables, Brewster's North, the Barley Mill, Sevens but that's not waaaay North and maybe BPs. That's alot of ground to cover. My spidey sense says maybe Brewster's.

I still believe that money is a useful tool, a means to an end but not the goal. I bought the condo because the apartment I was living in downtown in'03 was being condoized for some utterly outrageous amount of money, condo fees and taxes. I was looking for another downtown apartment with some history and couldn't find one, so I started looking at something to purchase not really sure I wanted to yet. And lo and behold, you get what you need. My condo is in a a heritage building - old world 1914 with 10 foot ceilings, maple hardwood and transom windows over the doors. 12 inch oak base boards and woodwork everywhere - big deep windows for plants a block and a half to Victoria Park or Wascana. I got it for a song compared to prices these days and it has an comfortable lived in fell. Gracious not pretentious. Warm welcoming yellows and ambers, the kitchen is fire engine red and the office a cool sage.

As for Lady dk - you;d be surprised how many people actually call me that. I'm not sure what triggers it - it seems to occur naturally somehow.

So dear anonymous, with the memory stirring I would appreciate it if you would drop me a note and put me out of my misery. The chase is fun but I have too much living to do and would way rather have a conversation ;)

My email address is in the left corner of the blog by my logo. I'll leave it up for a week.

ciao Dougal

So young, so sad. May you navigate the bardos quickly brother. I'll see you next time around. Not to worry - you'll hear my belly laugh and I'll see your smile.

December 12, 2009

Dear mother nature:

Would you please give over and give father nature a good roll. Something needs to warm your bottom. It's -33C right now and the HIGH I said HIGH for tomorrow is minus fucking 36 fucking Celsius which when you add the wind chill it'll be -50 C. That is about -33 Fahrenheit. Are you KIDDING ME??? Oh, but it will be sunny.

You know I don't really mind winter so long as it doesn't go below minus 20 too often, but this is simply inhumane. Even Jack fucking Frost is Frozen, no wonder why he's blue.

hands in pockets

can I ... did you know ... math games...gourmet eggnog ...why ... after supper can we ... do I HAVE TO WEAR MY JACKET... science ...can I make the salad ... why do they call it a butcher... which grocery store .. for christmas I want .. is deb home ... is she your doctor now... constellations and black holes ... skating ... smartest in billboards ... can we have ... triceratops steak ... propane safety ... refrigerated food dating ... netbook usage ...super farkle ... why peanut butter has no butter in the ingredients list ... sticky snow ... how can you get tv on a computer ... can I take out the garbage ... soft pillows ... telescope lenses as big as a car ... reading handwriting - 2 quarters=half-two halves=1, one pkg butter = 2 cups ... how to get warm water from a 2 tap sink ... can we go to the deck and see Smiling Joe ... email ... cookies ... plan breakfast menu ... do we get to do laundry ... red peppers are good for you ... stickers for 2 weeks ... matching dishes ... can I vacuum ... chess ... water dispensers ... the noises radiators make ... how to hang a jacket on a chair back ... avoid asking people to do things while THEY are in the bathroom. Questions, answers and puzzles never ending.

Touch the door, window, purse, glove box, kleenex, shelves, cans, bread, bananas, shelves, boxes, cans, cart, hands in pockets , my hand, cart, milk, magazine, cashier chain, gum, batteries, door, cart, keys, cans ... the fingers graze every surface he nears without any thought involved ;)

Heh heh heh - he makes me tired but i love it.

December 11, 2009

warmer than -15C

I will CAREFULLY go to my car and see if I can get some of last Saturday's belated running around done!

December 09, 2009


Tabby sank into the springless sofa, feet up, glass in hand, the remains of the vino tucked behind the corner where it wouldn't get spilled. The winter deep freeze had settled in but she was tucked up all cozy with her ratty old throw and fuzzy slippers. Zoning. Some crapshoot flickering on the telly, listening to the thrum and scrunch of motorcars slithering to a stop at the intersection, unconsciously waiting for the bash of yet another accident. Fender benders all, no one seriously injured, just dripping antifreeze, and crushed fiberglass. Hardly earth shattering.

Struck by the rhythm from the tv, her focus shifts to yet another pathetic attempt at engaging her compassion and saving yet more children half a world away while she could not shut out the hungry weeping of the kids across the hall. Offer to help, invite them for tea, make a difference? Sure for a useless moment, and then make another neighbourhood enemy by stomping on what little pride Nan had left.

Cocooned in her tiny flat, she had a decent paying job that she didn't detest, her kids were grown and away, she was a standard white collar worker still living in the blue collar quarter. Talented, well spoken when she paid attention, and fairly well heeled, she was comfortable in her space, but not her skin.

Too often and for no visible reason tears would course the path down her jawline to be quickly swept away by unrecognizable hands stained with age yet attached to her own arms. Another sip of wine...

a curious challenge ;)

I am a project in evolution, and though fairly sedentary I'm also perpetually in motion. I have less than a dozen relationships that lasted over a decade, not including family or work, and if I'm still hanging around it's because I love you and you symbolize a question/quality/virtue/talent/skill that I have asked/want/strive for/intrigues me/want to develop.

It's that magical connection that ignites heartsong for 5 minutes or 50 years - it's there or it isn't. I have a big heart and there are alot of strings tugging on it. All by choice ;)

That said, there are also many individuals who have crossed my slightly kooky tangential path through this life, that I didn't get to know well enough, fast enough, who piqued my curiosity and motivated me to seek them out, but the adventure was somehow interrupted and I lost the thread.

Shiny things distract me - physically and psychically.

So here is a comment from an "anonymous" source from my past and I can hear the rhythm of the voice, the phraseology, and cannot coax that visual picture to come clear. And the clues left, hmmm. I haven't worked graveyards since the HD and that was before the condo so 2001/2002 or earlier, and my hair was pretty long then. I cut it really short in spring 2007, kept it short for a year and now it's back to long and curly. See, distracted.

As for tinted glasses - I have over 30 pairs of shades, reading glasses, etc tinted or otherwise so that's not very helpful, and I spend hours on the phone which is why I'm not surprised at where I work - it was kismet.

Lady, hmmm - there's only a handful of people that call me lady and use m'dear as a part of their regular vocabulary, and require that kind of privacy...

However, the pink/red lighter thing. There's a click/spark there. Damn ... out on the mists of the memory bog and the sometimer's monster just swept it away again.

So anonymous - you have captured my attention and I'm digging through the mire of a well abused mind.

Give a girl a break.

PS - my home number is the same.

December 08, 2009

Torpid Tuesday

Apparently laundry was too much for the injured limb and I over extended it yesterday resulting in a completely locked up hip knee stiffness that said nay nay to carrying me or doing the stairs.

On the light er side - do you think I should use this for my xmas card this year ;)

17 days to santa day

and it is one cold mother$%#@er out there. Minus 40C with the wind. I wonder if I should even ATTEMPT to start the car.

Got up this morning and my whole left side - hip sciatic and knee were a solid mass - no bendy bendy. Couldn't get a sock on my foot. Thank the 100 little gods I got the anti-inflammatories yesterday on the way home from work. Heat cold heat cold and hope it loosens up.

What really sucks is that it is near the end of the year and I have used my 12 allowed sick days for the year. So it's a no pay day for me unless my boss lets me work my DO Friday in exchange. Here's hoping.

And all the best of brain vibrations to almost doctor deb.

December 06, 2009

before bed

the weekend draws to a bittersweet close, cold and cloudy but the house is toasty warm. Deb is off to her defense and I've been awake since 4:30am. I did manage to fix the flapper chain mechanism on the toilet but care of my ongoing jugheaded jerry lewis gracelessness have not managed enough stairs to complete the daunting task of laundry. Well not really daunting - only one load - but stuff I need.

Nary a thing on my weekend list did I compleat, but to find and order that elusive gift for the bunny and get the baking goods for the dotter. MMMMM mini frozen buttertarts.

The queen of xmas for decades - there is not a bell or jingjingle, a stocking or gloogumble, not even a miserly sprig of mistletoe festooning the mantel. The 8 foot tree with the 350 decorations and 500 lights quietly slumber the sleep of the unwanted in cool darkness of the dungeon. Not a card has been purchased, nor ribbon curled.

Don't get me wrong - I love Santa probably more than the next guy, and most of the gifts have now been apprehended - I just seem to be imbued with this lassitude for life in general and the season in specific. NEVER been here before.

I tried watching christmas shows and listening to music - it just makes me weepy or sleepy. With less than 3 weeks to go I need to shake of the celebratory lethargy. Maybe it's just been a really long year.

Well I'm off to sugarplum land early day tomorrow but only a 4 day week thank all the 100 little gods.


December 05, 2009

gist number i dunnow

4: 47
4: 47
4: 47
4: 47
4: 47


December 03, 2009

december the threeth

Happy birthday Vi (my first ex mother in law) I hope you have a wonderific day.

I am still wondering about being the eldest living woman on my dad's side of the family at 48.

Why is it that when I close my eyes I feel like I did when I was 28 but when I look in the mirror I can't figure out who the fuck is she?

We have misplaced my seeester Patty - anybody seen her? If you do tell her to phone her father.

I have finally delved my way through the mountains of paper on my desk and with prodigious effort have reduced it to a mole hill. Knock wood. A really big stack = like half a cord or so. Hopefully I can keep it there. Wish me luck.

Tomorrow or Saturday it will be back to Brown Sugar to renew the quickly fading glory of my summer tan so that I don't look like a Newfoundlander lobster after my first day in the islands. Ahhhh sun and hydration in the depths of winter, I think I will have to experience it to really really believe it. And Anarchy will be just a skip across the ocean in Cuba when I;m there.

I'm almost done the christmas shopping except for those gifts that I want to pick up in Jamaica. I think there are only 3 left on the list.

I have pretty much given up on christmas baking but my dotter she's a damn fine cook, so we're off to the ingredient store tomorrow and soon her house will be filled with such aromas you'll be drooling before you get three steps in the door. And she makes me these teensy little butter tarts so I may still enjoy a soupcon of one of my favorite flavours.

And Deb my flat mate is off to Montreal this weekend to prepare for her PhD defense on Wednesday. She is such a masterful speaker, eloquent and precise - she'll knock them dead. I believe!

December 01, 2009

dear Santa:

For the most part (conditional)I have been a very good girl this year (opinion).
I have taken better care of myself (though it could have been better) and spent more quality time with my family (than I did last year but not a decade ago).

I have gotten over several long held resentments (though I do itch occasionally to take them back) and made some new friends (okay 3 friemds and a double handful of acquaintances).

I have not been a tart, nor have I over indulged in red wine.

I have tried to shut up and listen (which if I may say is almost as hard as eating moderately).
I have managed (just) to make solid plans to take a well deserved vacation (47 days Jamaica) with a whack of good friends (crazy sunstarved flatland mofos).

I have not kicked any small people or tortured any animals. Nor have I launched anywhere NEAR the number of verbal rejoinders that I could have.

And on that note Santa, it would be great if you would bring me ... a gift certificate for less drama.

Thank you.

december the oneth

It's here, and with a perfect intro. The snow started to fall about 7pm, just lightly drifting and within an hour became big fat wind tossed but not driven flakes that melted on the front windshield and piled up on the rear. I found myself out driving the boy and his girl for groceries - sockless and in sandals - of course, so I decided to wait in the car. I read some of my book - had a smoke, sorted through the glove box and for once didn't find anything interesting that I had forgotten about. Had a bit of a doze and started the windshield wipers every 5 minutes or so.

By the time I realized nature's call the snow was at least ankle deep in the parking lot and the kids were back to load up the trunk. It would have to wait. So we got everything into the car and began the adventure of driving on the first really slushy/icy/snowy evening of the winter.

It took 8 taps of the brakes to stop when going about 20k. There were 3 cars on sidewalks, kissing a lightpost, and up on a lawn before I got 3 blocks.

Grandma drive time. Man people should know that come the end of October, toss some sand bags in the back of the 4X4, 1/2 ton, SUV - or something. I haven't seen that many tires spinning for nothing or backends sliding sideways when the light turns green for quite some time. I just stay 5 or 6 car lengths behind them and if the dude behind me wants to go faster than 40 k to freaking bad.

Got the kids safely back to their place, and almost got picked off four times n the way to mine - only about 10 blocks - and that included a city bus. That one gave me the shivers and a little shortness of breath - he was waaay bigger than me - thank you defensive driving courses.

Got the car parked at home and made some chickeny noodle soup and watched the snow fall. All the poofy stuck to the side of the tree kind of snow. This morning it's barely below zero, tree branches are bowed with their burdens and the whole world looks pristine and sparkly. Taking a cab to work cause I don't want to go and visit SGI any time soon ;)

I'm thinking my lawn needs some snow angels.


November 29, 2009

instead of grey cupping

This weekend I finished my laundry and cleaned my room - two irritants too long on the to do list. Then I was gult free and visited friends, had pints with the ladies, gathered up some familial hugs and spread them around the to the Eagles, then put the groove in gear and went booty shakin' at selam. I found out I'd gained 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks BAH! But tried on the too small froo froo skirt I bought in September and it fit. It didn't even make that sqwerky noise that thread makes when you stretch it too far. I still need to lose another 10-20 pounds so I FEEL better about wearing a totally age inappropriate piece of fluff, but into the suitcase it went, along with the other summer stuff I was going to store anyway - and makin' the list of what I still need as I went.

The snow on Saturday slowed me down - or rather the idiot drivers did. Lovely teatime with PJ, a stop at the butcher's for a Tbone, and the corner store for smokes and it was homeward bound. After a tasty snack I laid down for a short winter's nap and had slept the whole evening away - 11:30 I woke up. Missed a supper out and two karaoke dates but i THINK MY FRIENDS WILL FORGIVE ME. C'est la vie.

Sunday dawned early and crisp but not really cold with the worst of the idiot drivers at the autobody shops from yesterday, so I ventured out the airport to meet BRAD & BRENDA'S flight from BRAZIL with the rest of the crazy crew! Man they look so relieved to be home - it totally made my day. Then it was off to the dotter's for coffee and read the flyers then Seth And I decided to attempt the wallymart once again since my list had grown since the packing began. He had mickeyDs for lunch and was a wonderful help reading the labels that my missing glasses were required for. Found another swim suit, beach cover and water shoes. Then over to the boy's for coffee with him an la Nola and not-dreadlilocks, and the ever important hugs from angus bodhi cat (achoooo)!

And to top off the day Mikey hands me a cheque from mein pappa for %500 smackaroonies to spend on what I want. Wow. That`ll be a bottle of my Givenchy when it comes in and the other $400 are goin`to Jamaica! THANK YOU DADDY!

Now I`m goin`to bbq up that Tbone and bake a tatoe and find something besides football to watch. crackbook will keep me updated on that score I`m sure.

November 26, 2009

November 25, 2009

designing for dk

I'm taking my first tropical vacation ever and from what I gather the humidity is such that you better take several swim suits because of the length of time it takes them to dry (pack travel panties - fast drying), Anyway I bought some lovely semi opaques crinkly cottons to craft some beach/poolside togs for the island and am having a simply nasty time trying to decide what I want to make.

Take into account:
1. Heat - need to be airy & well ventilated
2. Humidity - light fabric loose and flowing
3. Large body - slightly fitted to body not to bulky, deep necklines, empire waist
4. Stubby legs - just above knee - skorts so no thigh wiffles, maybe open side leg
5. Easy to make - simple lines no zippers pleating lining etc
6. Practicality - can be worn over a swimsuit.

I know I want to make at least one little swing dress - above the knee - kind of like a long tunic - sleeveless with a collared neckline but sweatheart shaped in front - maybe diaper pants to go with it and then perhaps a slightly longer dress or maybe two the same but different materials and one with shorts and one with pants but «i really like the belly dancing skirt but not sure if I`m quite that CONFIDENT but it is Jamaica - you see the problem?

Methinks this needs some more planning before cutting but I do need toget on it.

and on the 54th day

dk said - it makes me fel like dancin', gonna dance the night away...
it makes me feel like dancin' gonna dance the night away ...

One love... one love ... let's get together and we'll be all right ...

The due dates are finally caught up, the news sent to print, Brad's home on Sunday, Denise will fret less, Kory will get some, and there's only one work day left this week.

I feel so good I'm going home to do laundry AND clean my room.


November 23, 2009

WOOT!!!! Brad has a ticket home!

Not to borrow any trouble but my friend Brad should be back in Canada under his own power, albeit a bit slower than usual on Sunday morning. Being allowed to eat and drink for the first time in 6 weeks has made such a HUGE improvement in his ability to stay positive. Go Brad Go.

Doing the happiest dance!

November 22, 2009

optimism returns

Effective yesterday, I had been not so patiently waiting for the opportunity to deal with my vacation angst concerning the nameless canceller for 30 days. No email, co call, and when seen in person - no recognition that I was breathing. Not so very good in my world.

I realized Friday that we were both to be attending the same relatively small function this Saturday evening. First thought - smack it upside the head. Not such a great idea. Second thought - cause a great accusatory scene cutting it down to nothing in front of all of our friends with the sharp side of my tongue. But I would feel guilty later and it would create more problems than it would solve since it would only make me feel better for a short while. Then I realized that I was concerned about how I would react to the whole situation. Talked to Malibu and told her I may show up on her doorstep a blubbering mess if I take the wrong tack when I talk to it.

Surprise Surprise.

When I sat down at the tab;e it was there. I didn`t say anything - just kept my cool and talked to others I hadn`t seen in a bit. Then it got up and came over and handed me a card. A friendship card. The sentiment was that friends were important and it was glad I was one.

Ì know it`s not much but I thought you might `want some shopping money.`

and there was $125 American in the card.

Not as much as I wanted, however - way to Man up. AND I feel restored.

I always want to believe in the good of humans but sometimes I start to run out of patience and I just don`t understand how people can `Not Get It`

Deep breath, 55 days to go - woot!

November 21, 2009

The Great Interview Experiment

I would like to introduce a newly for me discovered talent Cindy care of the Citizen's 2nd annual project to make us all fell important;) I had a great time stalking through her archives and meeting the boys and aspecially her theory on LBDs.

1. You describe yourself as Sybil, something I totally understand, but would you care to elaborate a bit? Having grown up all over Canada I'm always interested in how we got to be who we are.

I do feel like Sybil. I am happiest when things are changing, although I am a total bitch when I am in the middle of a transition. My Other Half and I have moved a lot, we have tried living in the country, in the city and now in a small town. We have lived in the UK, the US and Canada. On the west coast and the east and each place suited us at that time in our lives. I say “our lives” because we have been together since high school so every move I have made has been with him packing the truck. Right now the change is from fulltime mother of three little boys to fulltime mother of three older boys while trying to figure out who I am. It’s the hardest one yet.

2. What are the 10 best things about living on the Bay?

i) The water calms me every time I look at it
ii) It is great for getting the mud off of dirty dogs and boys after a hike
iii) It’s nice to know that if I did want to run away I could hop in a boat and sail out of the Bay into Lake Huron, then into Lake Erie, then Lake Ontario, down the St Lawrence River and out into the Atlantic. Who knows? Someday I might need to.
iv) When there is nothing else to do we can always go down to the beach and skip stones, this occupies the boys for hours
v) The last day of school is celebrated with a bonfire at the beach
vi) It is fresh water so when you swim you don’t get all salty
vii) I love eating fresh Georgian Bay whitefish straight off the boat with a little lemon & white wine
viii) Some days it is the colour of the Mediterranean Sea without the billionaire yacht traffic
ix) It inspired so many of the Canadian Group of Seven painters whose work I love
x) There is nothing better after a long ride than jumping off the pier into crystal clear water

3. How DO you find that perfect LBD?

I am always on the lookout for the perfect LBD, unfortunately styles and my body shape seems to change more often than I’d like. I found one full length dress at Marshall’s years ago and I still pull it out for black tie occasions and wear different accessories (wow, that sounds very organized and practical, but it’s true) and I found the short one I wore at Target two years ago and never wore it until now. Cost per wear - $30!

4. I grew up with 2 sisters, I have a boy and a girl (grown) and one of each for grands. What's it like to have three boys?

It’s physical all the time. There are no arts & crafts in our house, there are punch & grabs. They are hyper-competitive and seem to have no “off” button, at least not one that I have found. I grew up with a brother and a sister and we fought - a lot - but nothing like my guys. My Dad, when he is with us, just shakes his head and looks up to the heavens and says, “I’m sorry Mum”. He was one of three boys too.

5. You seem to be involved in volunteerism. What motivates your sense of compassion?

My compassion comes from my family. Both sides of my family were/are very active in the community. My grandmother recorded books on tape for the blind and drove for Meals on Wheels. My mother organized afterschool activities for kids who couldn’t afford to participate otherwise and my Dad and brother started a camp for inner-city kids which has given hundreds of at-risk kids a chance to succeed. I grew up wanting for nothing but my parents always made sure that we understood how lucky we were and I hope I can do the same for my kids by being involved and trying to make a difference.

6. When you choose which blogs you want to follow, what are three things that interest you?

The first blogs I read were recommended to me by my sister-in-law. They were all different, some were by mothers, some weren’t but they all captured my interest. I love reading about other people’s parenting trials and tribulations but I also love to look at gorgeous photography of places I may never visit. I read some political blogs, I studied Poli Sci at university and I used to want to be the first female Prime Minister of Canada (Kim Campbell beat me to it) and some blogs I have found by meandering through other people’s lists or randomly clicking on links. That’s what I love about blogging, you never know where it is going to take you.

7. How did you get to Citizen of the month?

I had to think about this one because figuring out how you got to a certain blog is sort of like trying to trace a conversation between two people over a couple of glasses of wine. You start complaining about how your kids are talking back, then it’s on to your boss expecting you to do the job of three people, then it’s how your spouse never cleans out the kitchen sink drainer and suddenly you are reminiscing about your driver’s test. Huh? How did we get here? But back to the question, I think I found Citizen of the Month on drowning in kids blog.

8. Decribe your family, including yourself, with one word each. When I asked my mom to do this years ago, she tagged me the "bulldozer" qualified with, "come hell or high water you get it done."

My Other Half is the rock we can all cling to when we need it.
Number One Son is the calm in the storm that is our day-to-day lives.
Number Two Son is the clown, funny whether it is appropriate or not.
Number Three Son is the devil in not much of a disguise.
Me, I’m a chameleon, always changing depending on those around me.

9. What makes you sing to yourself?

I’m not much of a singer but I do love it when I hear something on the radio in the car that I haven’t heard in a while. ipods have sort of taken that away from us, it’s too easy to download songs. Kind of like how kids don’t have to wait for the one time a year The Grinch comes on TV anymore.

10. What do you do for YOURSELF, in your ever busy life?

I ride my horse and yes, I know I am incredibly spoiled. Last Christmas my family surprised me by leasing a horse I had ridden a few times at a friend’s barn. I hadn’t really ridden since I was a teenager and now I try to ride once a week if I can. It feeds my soul and keeps me from losing it.

Thanks top you both - this was FUN!

November 18, 2009

brad's battle

There are so many avenues you can take to try and keep weight problems under control/find control/regain control. None of them are easy and every weight cursed individual - be they underweight or overweight - responds in a unique way to most if not all of the methods to resolve the problem. I know. I've gained and lost and regained between 165 pounds to 325 and back to 170. Kept it off for several years and then it slowly climbed ... lost 50 or 60 pounds ... it found me again - y'all know the drill.

My point is that calorie, portion, intake control is the hardest thing to do because you can not just quit eating. You can quit smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, hoarding, or washing your hands too many times a day, but you can not simply just STOP eating. Sometimes the solution requires some extraordinary intervention.

So I have a friend named Brad who has struggled with a severe weight problem most of his life. Dietary and exercise programs were never successful. In 2007 Brad topped 507 pounds and despite all of his efforts, was gaining about 60 pounds a year. With the encouragement and assistance of his doctor, they applied to the only Saskatchewan program for gastric bypass surgery, and was rejected in April 2008 as not meeting the criteria of Dr, Kalban’s program.

Expanding their search outside of the province, Brad was accepted to Dr. Ferries’ program in Red Deer, AB. With his first appointment scheduled for June 8, 2009. a call in April 2009 informed him that Dr. Ferries had chosen to cancel all out of province patients, so the search was on once more with a letter to the Alexandria hospital in Edmonton.

With the continued deterioration of Brad’s health and walking becoming difficult, a friend who had the surgery in Brazil suggested Brad discuss this option with his doctor. Brad was accepted to the Brazilian program and began to prepare to go to Brazil. Brad and his wife Denise were prepared to do whatever they had to, to pay the projected cost of nearly $20,000.00 to extend Brad’s life. Pre-surgery fundraising efforts by friends and family helped to supplement their funds.

October 13,2009 Brad had his gastric bypass Roux en Y surgery in Brazil. The surgery was a success. However, a few days later Brad contracted Pneumonia in both lungs and had a blood clot to his left lung. The lung infection sent him to septic shock and shut down his kidneys and on the evening of October 19, 2009 Brad almost died due to these complications. By the grace of god, Brad is now out of ICU but recovering very slowly and is still in the hospital in Brazil. Medical bills from just the treatment of the complication alone have now passed $90,000 and Brad is out of ICU, but isn’t home yet. It’s been over a month.

The office of the Minister of Health has refused assistance claiming they simply do not have any programs that apply to this situation. The ministry indicated that preapproval for out of province coverage should have been arranged before Brad’s surgery. Brad had not applied because others he knows, who also went to Brazil, were previously rejected.

Brad is not looking for anyone to pay for his "elective" surgery, that was his choice. We are asking for assistance to cover the costs for the treatment of the complications portion. Dr. Marchesini has done 3000 gastric bypass surgeries with a 99% success rate, and Brad is only the third patient to suffer complications.
Fundraising efforts continue, with great thanks to the Eagles Club Ladies Auxiliary, the Victoria Club, and a whole host of generous hearts. A PayPal account for direct donations has also been set up and funds can be sent to or send a cheque payable to Denise Bantle at 1540 Albert Street Regina Sask. S4P 2S4
For more information or to schedule an interview please contact Denise Bantle (306) 949-4815

November 17, 2009

tuesday sucketh in an entirely different way

waaay behind at work now, worked through lunch and 45 minutes after home time and I still feel like I got exactly no fuckin' place.

Maybe tomorrow.

November 16, 2009

monday sucketh

Icky and tired all week end - cancelled all Saturday outings and slept 12 hours.
Not sure if I have a come and go fever or hot flashes.
Sunday, left the house for the fundraiser supper for 2 hours.
No sniffles but sinus drain - no headache but I'm just freaking exhausted.
Couldn't sleep. Barking like a seal.

Went to the doctor. Waited patiently for an hour and a half before asking for an update on how long this was going to take. I could feel the millions of virii trying to attack me from all those other sick people. I was told I was next. My doctor called 4 other people. I arched my eyebrow at the asst who told me "next" even though I felt like SCREAMING at him. He moved my file to a different doctor. It was still another half hour in the waiting room and 15 in the exam room.

No fever - no flue. allergies resulting in sinusitis complicating bronchitis. More antibiotics.

Go to the pharmacy - they said 20 minutes and gave me a pager. I wandered, found an emery board some lengthening mascara and a back of jujubes that I'm not supposed to eat. half hour killed. Sat down on the waiting chair BESIDE THE PHAARMACY COUNTER. at the hour mark I went and asked how much longer it would be? Politely I might add. The pharmacist says its been waiting half an hour. I hand him the pager and he shrugs, smiles, and tells me "sometimes they work and sometimes they don't" - sorry.
I am surrounded by mental midgets, always bad when I'm not at my best.

Home I go. No parking places. get me a gun - a big one, like a howitzer and I'll make a parking place. 16 drives around the block.

I start some stew since I missed lunch chasing my prescription. Go to have a nap = forgot I was to have coffee with the boy after work. Call wakes me up. Lay back down, another call - NOT MINE. The boy comes over to see me quick, give me some horrible news about a good friend's ex, but he does take the trash out to the bin for me.

I go downstairs to do laundry - it's always busy Sunday open Monday. Loads in both washers with another basket waiting, back up the stairs with nothing gained. REALLY. Next trip down - only one washer is free. Back to put in dryer - doesn't want to accept my loonie... finally. Now it is after 11pm - I'm tired and bitchy and waiting for my single load to dry. Have to do the rest tomorrow.

AARRGGHHHHH. Going back to bed as soon as I get my clothes.

November 15, 2009

belated image post

... in a world with no pumpkins spaghetti squash transform

I love Hallowe'en. Since I can't be a Blues "Brother" I was their big Sister.

and here are the geese leaving for the winter:

missing in action

I've been looking forward to my three day weekend for several weeks and now the 100 little gods have decided to rain on my parade. I spent 5 hours Friday running around completing what was supposed to be a simple task - not even my own really - only to have it grow tentacle like complications that pretty much wasted my day. I did get it finished though so that's positive. Then I got to spend a few hours with several of the best girlfriends one can have.

By the time I got home the "visitor" showed up, and I hadn't really been watching the calendar so I hadn't gotten myself psyched up to deal with it. You know, it never used to be such a big freakin' deal. Every twenty eight days - a little poochiness, 4 days of bodily betrayal and done. Now, it starts with a day of ovarian twinges, 5 days of mess, fatigue, cravings for salt & sugar, neither of which I am supposed to have, and general malaise. I want to see my friends but I don't want to GO OUT THERE. My pants are too tight, I get two days of kankles so a dress is out, and I have a zit on the end of my nose. Just fucking lovely.

Apparently I am a little cranky.

And because it is my own body betraying my general desire to have a good time, I obsess.

I also missed Katie's Wino party last night and the santa claus parade today due to general uncomfortablity topped off with the remains of a hacking bronchitis cough and an icky stomach.

I wish the mental pause would be done already. Stupid hot flashes. Did you know that people think it is inappropriate to skin down to a tankini at the office in the winter?

I know - whine whine whine. I have the cheese thanks.

November 14, 2009

friday the 13th doesn't count

got my interview questions sent ;)

November 12, 2009

GIST # I'm not sure

I am grateful for:
1. My ability to look myself directly in the mirror and say YECH! and still have a good day.
2. Dove's 71% cocoa chocolates with only 190 calories in 4 pieces, 19 grams of carbs in same, and the lovely little notes on theinside of the wrapper : "enjoy retail therapy", "have a spa day", don't skip breakfast", "gossip harmlessly"...
3. The completion of work I volunteered for but didn't really want to do which made my day when I was done.
4. Taking risks both emotional and financial.
5. Smoking less than 2 packs a week.

November 11, 2009

remember day

For all those past present and future in uniform to defend us, thank you.

November 10, 2009


working on an interview and a press release - will catch up later.

Lest we forget, remember to take a minute at 11am tomorrow to thank all of those who gave their lives to make ours a better world, then go out and spend an hour making it a better world for someone else.

November 09, 2009

69 days and counting

Started the sewing - well the here's the pattern what do I need to do to it to make it what I want, why did I buy this pattern anyway, damn I hate my measurements - it can wait till December part of the sewing.

Had a great visit with Abigail and a nice chat with my dad.

I figure the piles of paper on my desk will act as great insulation for the winter.

November 08, 2009

sunday of rest

up early - why? I didn't accomplish much. Did some visiting watered the plants a very short walk at the leg watching the geese run away. Not sure about there sense of direction since I saw at least one flock fly of east, west, north, and south and even a couple sou' by souwest. The lake was dead calm - and I enjoyed the quiet to read my book.

November 07, 2009


7 days complete.

I'm going outside to play with NO SOCKS - in November. YAY!!!!!

November 06, 2009

it never really goes away.

Can't you smell it? That snitch scrickle ghosting through your brain like it hadn't been fifteen plus years. Tastebuds immediately drooling with the shiny reflex. Focus shot and paranoia biding its own sweet time behind the scent.

Damn park kids.

November 05, 2009

paid the piper - back to the countdown : 73 days

booked the trip to Jamaica - extra fees and all. I think I'm excited but the joy has been tarnished by all the bullshit. It's going to cost me an extra $750 to stay as a single.

So I'm looking for the positives today:
1. I'll have 2 beds - one to jump around on and one to sleep in.
2. I will be the only one snoring ;)
3. I won't need to bring socks for the doorknob. YAY no socks!
4. If I want to chill on the balcony and greet the dawn with some ganja - no one may say me nay.
5. I won't have to share a bathroom so I can strew my stuff around all I want.
6. I won't have anyone seeing any of my unmentionables - never mind the chin hair plucking.
7. All of the beer in the fridge is for me so I can make room for fruity snacks.
8. I can listen to MY kind of music.
9. I won't have to make any cooperations, no that's not it, considerations, nope, that's not it either - AHA! compromise. I won't have to compromise with any of my personal space.
10. I can run around nekkid!

Okay I feel better - maybe not $750 bucks better, but better none the less

November 04, 2009

ola' Oliver

Who hoo - yesterday as I was leaving work - lo and behold the 100 little gods had arranged Jules and Oliver to come to me since I am not organized enough to get to them. Jules looks SO freakin' great - she's got the mommy glow! And I had to just giggle at Das Pipers efforts to figure out the dady - baby carrier. His smile starts at his belly button and grows from the inside out! Lovely! I even got a quick peek at Oliver even though he thought it was snack time ;) Babies are so beautiful. AND now I know what to look for for a gift.

November 03, 2009

and late yet again

so I still haven't heard and I'm thinkin' I probably won't.

On the other hand my daughter made me supper, the grands gave me some of their hallowe'en haul (which I promptly ate and then felt sick) and I had a nice visit with the boy.

Now figuring how to budget the extra grand for the trip. Looks doable, just feels dontable.

November 02, 2009

what to do?

... so the person sharing accommodations with me, who shall remain nameless, for my Jamaica trip in January changed their mind and decided to cancel. The decision was made a couple of weeks before I was informed - at 8:30 on a Friday evening 3 days before my birthday, via a message on FB. No face to face, not a call, not even time for an email. The travel agent would not be available until MONDAY - the day of my birthday party.

So there are several things that are twisting my knickers about this.

1. If you knew earlier, why the hell didn't you tell me? It's a $3200 trip, and a replacement would need to have the cash by Nov 9/09 as well as the last two weeks of January off, and a passport.
2. Am I not worth a phone call at least? I mean this could have a huge impact on the cost of my trip.
3. Did you even make any attempt yourself to find a replacement for the trip/accommodations or did you just decide oh well let her deal with it?
4. After 10 days of searching for someone who could go instead - by myself, other travellers and my friends and family - no luck.
5. Alternative #1 - cancel the only trip I have ever had farther south than South Dakota to a tropical paradise in the depths of my 48th Canadian winter and lose my $400 deposit - not to mention the $$ already spent on new luggage, material for beachwear, ready to wear, a new underwater capable camera and a netbook, along with my entirely broken heart and dashed dreams.
6. Alternative #2 - I got the numbers yesterday - pay an extra $900-1100 to stay at the resort as a single accommodation, which would suck up every last cent of my budgeted spending money, putting a serious crimp in the hedonistic vacay I was planning.

I can not believe how angry I am. It is not even the hot want to kick something sort of anger. The longer it takes for me to find a solution the colder and more implacable it gets, which sucks because we share a group of friends - and the canceller is supposed to be my friend, and I don't want to make this a political drama scene. AARRGGHHH!

So I sent an email yesterday laying out how the decision to cancel the trip is affecting me and asking for any suggestions. Non confrontational - non antagonistic - I even had someone else check it before I sent it. Trying for the high road. Now I guess it's wait and see - but only till Friday because I have to pay for the trip or cancel it by Saturday.

November 01, 2009


I started it and saved it and forgot to post it.

Sunday the 1st of November. GIST

1. dick tricks
2. scrumptious roast pork
3. new jewellry
4. great friends
5. mu & the buddha

October 29, 2009


took 4 days of the caloric countdown, drank my face off for the bday, even had a piece of cake. Got on the scale today - 3 pounds less than last Friday - let the hoopla begin. Running total now 34 pounds since mid August.

I still haven't heard from my travel agent about the jamaica me crazy problem yet ... heavy sigh.

October 25, 2009

in. techno.hell

and by my own volition no less, 1 flattened reinstalled updated loaded laptop down.
\now to do the new one - and then the netbook.

October 23, 2009

o happy day ... oh happy dayyyy

I had a little visit with my nemesis Mr. Scale today.
Last week he told me that I weighed exactly the same as I had the week before @ 1500 calories a day - that totally ramped me right up. I hadn't realized that the curse would be showing up 4 days later. Aha - retainage of fluid.
On Monday I was the same weight as the previous Monday that's 3 mondays in a row - WTF!!!
So today, 12 days later I finally see a real result.

I have lost 8 pounds since Oct 5th (18 days) YEE FREAKIN" HAH!!!!!So that's about 3 1/2 pounds a week and a total of 31 pounds since mid August.

I have 85 days to go on my count down at this rate I might even lose another 40 pounds by the time I leave for Jamaica. Maybe I'll be able to stop going on and on and on about hard it is. Maybe not.

That would be soooo fiiine.

I am taking My birthday off and eating and drinking whatever I want because I have survived 48 years, 2 children, 2 grandchildren, 2 divorces, 2 sisters and their crews, 2 stepsiblings and their crews, too many funerals and a couple of dozen adopted homely crew and miscellaneous dysfunctional framily members (just like me).


October 22, 2009

open to disaster

I ate 5 - yes 5 yummy sugary apple strudel pastries (almost wrote pasties) yesterday.

I went to Safeway, bought yogurt, milk, reduced sugar oatmel, walked right past the baked goods, and bought a roasted chicken for supper. GOOD GOOD GOOD.

And by 6:30 pm I was in my car on my way back to Safeway drooling in anticipation.

Calories up, blood sugar up, blood pressure down, cravings gone

Lose - Win?

Note : even with the freaking strudels I still ate 800 calories less than I need to maintain my body weight.

October 21, 2009

my mortar is crumbling ...

I built a 20 foot wall all around me 10 feet thick with He best redfired brick and mortar that i could to keep myself away from the dreaded caloric bliss. in the middle of my fifth week I find that there are crumbling edges and little teeny tiny tastebud holes driven through the mortar. The brick withstands all - solid and real -it is my need to be healthy, my desire for knees that don't ache, and back that no longer throbs from the frontage mass.

But the mortar is weak, a conglomerate of struggling willpower, wanting to want to be healthy enough to give up all those delicacies that I enjoy, that lovely pair of size 18 jeans with the rhinestones on the back pockets and an underwire uplift rack for the girls.

The poutine is calling.

I had gravy and smashed tatoes on thanksgiving and left overs the next day. But even the 2nd day I stayed within my limits. I've cut of the liquid grain intake and unfortunately a fair chunk of my social life in the process because I never was good at moderation. I can do it, but I'm starting to not want to and temptation is so much more tempting at this point.

Today I had a hot turkey sandwich on brown (yech) with just a soupcon of gravy and one small ice cream scoop of smashed tatoes - maybe 450 calories - well within limits - but I wanted MORE!!! so I had salad.

I think the worst part about this is that I'm a rather all or nothing kind of girl - very zen. And I'm starting to resent my own goals that I set myself - which makes me WEAK. and then I get angry at myself and don't those chocolate chip cookies look so very tasssty. Where did those stupid raisins go....

October 20, 2009

new toys new toys new toys

life is good.
Canon is wonderful
and I now have enough back up volume.

October 16, 2009

it's friday

and I'm on a DO. Think I'll mosey on down to futureshop and get a quote for the new toys. Buying a smaller camera for my trip and a netbook - and we'll see what else ;)

The knees seem to be getting slooowly better but that is most likely with every pound I drop - though it's only been 8 or 9 pounds in almost 4 weeks. I am already impatient - it should be more...

Anyway, think I'm going to have to cancel the twinrex vaccination today - I'm a little sniffly and with the amount of sickness going around at the office I don't think I'll push that particular envelope especially since I have no sick days left until the end of December.

I am already starting to put things in my shiny new suitcases. Which reminds me, I need to find new watershoes. Oh yes, and a - get this - 2 piece bathing suit. OMG! for tanning only ;)

Hmmmm, maybe I'll go for a tan too, a delusional 10 minutes in the sun.

It's a lazy weekend, which after the last one is a very good thing.

October 14, 2009

the laundry's done, the laundry's done....

well almost.

5 loads on Monday - thanks to Devi the 9 yr old granddaughter making it go faster. I don't actually mind doing laundry but my knees are pretty pissed at the number of stairs required to get it done. So I sloughed last weeks and had 2 weeks worh to do.

Still have a load of blankets and towels - but that'll get done tonight.

It is supposed to be back in the double digits again this weekend YAY!

Me, the hallowe'en is my favorite holiday EVER - has no idea what she will be and there's only 2weeks and 3 days to go.

October 07, 2009

the 1st hump day of October...

First real snow of the season - right on time - a few weeks before my birthday but after I winterized dakar. Hmmm, I guess I should be gettin' on the replace the front tires bandwagon shortly.

My laundry still isn't done.

My knees hurt more in the last two weeks than they have all freaking year, maybe it's the weather change, or the new shoes. I've lost weight so it's not that - or at least not more than before.

Stupid fkn doctor. The script is supposed to be 2 tabs a day for month, 6 refills. What does she write you ask? 6 tabs, 6 refills. So now I have to go and waste another 2 hours of my precious time with all the sick people at the doctor's office to get a new script written AND pay ANOTHER dispensing fee - when it is HER fault.

I know - I've called the pharmacy who said to call the doctor and I've called the clinic who tried to tell me to call the pharmacy ... not having that ... I've left a message for the doctor, I spoke with the NURSE and the receptionist yesterday to get it fixed and have them fax a new script. Did they? Of course not, why would they do that. Glad my life didn't depend on it. INCOMPETENCE - bah!

On my way home from the bookstore today I did not stop at any of the 10 fast food/sugar shacks. I almost did but I managed to resist. Note to self, take Broad St not Albert when going North.

October 06, 2009

Dear weatherman:

You are already hiding the sun early and letting it out to play later, so do you think you could let up on the cold water for a bit? This is the flatlands not the freakin' coast.

103 days ....

October 01, 2009


Am I not dilapidated enough that the powers that be see fit to have me wake up with a monster headache - stuffed right up -sore throat etc, when I only have 1 sick day left for the rest of the year?

whine whine bitch ......

September 25, 2009

113 days

First let me thank all the 100 little gods for the beautiful 29 & 30 degree weather this week - most excellente`!

Second congrats to Dad & Viv who are now officially retired after 30 years together. You should see Viv's new wheels - a big red Jeep, and dad likes it too.

And my son has a new girlfriend, first in a long time, and she was already one of my friends - so we are all happy;) She's lovely inside and out and does dishes when he cooks. Everybody wins. Oh yeah AND yesterday when they popped by to see me at work she brought me a bottle of my favorite Hempz moisturizer. MMMMMMM I smell goodly.

I got to celebrate Guinness' 250th birthday with some of my favorite ladies - the others were elsewhere and I missed them, and my biggest younger brother Kory. Along with a whole other crowd of friends. I'm cross contaminating circles of friends these days and so far it's working out.

Knock wood, I have finally caught up at work and the busiest season craziness has died down a tad. (see me doing the little happy dance) and I am back to thoroughly enjoying my worklife once again. Except for the day after the fire drill - where I had to go down 12 flights of stairs at double my normal pace - so today my knee and my ankle are just a tad pissed off.

I had a meeting with my nemesis yesterday as well and lo and freakin' behold I have now lost 26 pounds in 7 weeks. I'm bitter and angry and whining about wanting at food but I put myself in this place so I can just suck it up and get myself the hell out.

To those of you to whom I have been growly and irascible, my most sincere and humble apologies.

And lastly - only 113 days and it's off to the island bra. Starting on the beachwear this weekend.

September 23, 2009

Pocket Buddha is a mom

and Heiniken a happy dad. Welcome Oliver to your rather extended framily. We are over joyed at your appearance and I am sure your mother's ankles will forgive you some day.

Congrats to everyone!

September 21, 2009

new shoes

They are Clarks > lamb/kid black mary janes with some lovely top stitching - beautiful shoes with a squooshy supportive heel and some arch support. I do however feel like I'm 3 years old every time I look down. They remind me of my shiny black going to church patents actually.

They're so comfortable but I've been switching off two pairs of Mephistos for the last year and a half and while the feet are in comfort heaven my bastardized ankle and the lately been crushed knees have the colywobbles from wearing them all day.

There is NO way I would have been able to haul my fat ass out of the pool at the end of aquacize today, but I did do 12 flights of stairs while doing laundry. It's something.

Today I smelled donuts - fresh out of the bakery honey dipped donuts every where I went. Not funny at all.

September 17, 2009

Dear dk:

how many times do I have to tell you - Don't count your chickens before they freakin' hatch. Murphy is NOT your friend.

September 15, 2009

graced - I don't know how many

1. Waking up the morning after my first aquacize class since May and finding out that my knees still feel better, the ankle will just have to put up with it.
2. My dad should be a millionaire today - for a little bit until revenue canada takes their cut.
3. It's my friend Deb's birthday today.
4. It's the ides of September and the temp is going to be 28 Celsius.
5. Payday is in 2 days and I still have money in the bank.

September 14, 2009

i will not pretend

I will not put on a smile.
I will not say I'm alright ...

Thank you Abigail

Martha Wainright B.M.F.A.

September 11, 2009



September 08, 2009

a monday on a tuesday

and back to work.

I apparently missed an EPIC party this weekends - stupid ankle.

I did purchase material for island wear this weekend - we'll see how that goes ;)

131 days left and 61 pounds to go ... that's the goal.

may the 100 little gods have mercy on me.

September 05, 2009

I feels a fratrday comin' on

the sun is glowing I'm on a day off - the barby is a happenin' at BKs place for supper and I'm a thinkin' I should grab some ice , make a quick stop at the pub, and simply enjoy a day with no other responsibilities.

September 04, 2009

sun planning

135 days

still have 4 standups left at brown sugar

best other deal I can find is $160 for 16 standups with 20 points left over.


September 02, 2009


There have been crinkled dead yellow leaves on my car every morning for the last 2 weeks. Yesterday the temperature went up to 30 degrees celcius. The kids are all back in school and the new university semester starts next week. It's supposed to go up to 28 degrees today and the forecast has similar temps up to at least Saturday.


Understand - I am NOT, I repeat NOT complaining about the beautiful weather this week. But where was this weather IN THE ACTUAL SUMMERTIME?

Ah well whine and cheese time....

My best friend Deb finished her PHD dissertation and got it all sent off to McGill and peasants rejoiced. Now for the defence some time this fall and she'll be Doctor D. Hanging with her through the master's and doctorate has however influenced my decision to attempt my master's when I retire, but there is no freaking way I'm going to Pile it Higher and Deeper. Big shout to Christina of in Montreal who managed through all that life could throw at her to get her thesis delivered before the deadline as well.

THe grands are back in school and devi has a nice but strict teacher - all good for miss tea-granny-bossy-pants, and Seth's teacher this year appears to be quite on the ball and is using online agendas, completely removing the parentals' trial and tribulations from 8 year old boys tendencies to "forget" to bring it home or for that matter - outright hide the damn thing when they've been "outspoken" or "unbiddable" on any given day;)

THe manchild is rockin' 3 jobs - maybe more - and he and dreadlilocks are welcoming a new housemate this week. A little estrogen may make some environmental changes - you never know.

Dad & Viv have finalized the sale of the trailer park and between the chaos of trying to clean sweep themselves of 27 years of accumulated auctions, estate sales, and garage saling they are searching for a new abode - hopefully in town - but dad wants a bit of land to drive his gator around and a double car garage on while Viv wants a bungalow - 3 bedrooms and 2 baths preferable with a solarium and laundry. Took a look at a place out at Pense last week but I think it was a no go.

My seester Liza & BIL Brian will have their 20th anniversary this weekend - CONGRATS. You sure got lucky there Liza. And then Ashley - last in this crop of nephews and neices will turn 19 on the 18th.... time flies

Me. I am still nursing the tibia fracture from my fall 6 weeks ago - it's getting better but it's sure taking it's own sweet time.

hugs to y'all

August 26, 2009

small things

1. I had clean clothes to wear this morning.
2. I only have 21 letters waiting on my desk (2 weeks worth)
3. I may have found space to store some 330,000 newsletters until after the by-election.
4. The cortizone cream appears to working.
5. I received my ticket information for my holiday. Jan 17/10 at 7 am I am OUTTA here!

August 25, 2009

4 letters - one word


August 20, 2009


As I have been reminded by my ladies - perhaps it's this horrible excuse for a summer that has me down. I believe that after I take devi (granddotter) for her first "big girl" salon haircut after work, I will go and get me some fake rays at brown sugar. That has never failed to make me feel better.

August 19, 2009

meh blech

I'm so tired of being me that I just don't even want to fuckin' bother. where'd my passion for life go? I don't care about getting the kitchen done - big D. the Jaymay trip could get cancelled - whatever... Haven't seen my friends for awhile. could give maybe half a damn about the grey hair and whiskers.

WTF is that about?

August 16, 2009

Dear Mr. Weatherman

You don't have to convince me that it's time for the kids to go back to school. Let up with the rain why don't you.

August 14, 2009

big deal - so it's friday - meh!

I'm old and tired and bent and busted
my thrice damned knees still can't be trusted
I'm a bit-ter wo-man...

It's raining and cold, had to cancel my campin'
cleanin' out a quansit s'all that'll be happenin'
I'm a bit-ter woman ...

so it's off to the Jaw in Dakar as soon as I get off work - for the second Friday running - and I'll be there till Sunday. Oh YAY!

hmmmm - I will quit whining know.

August 12, 2009

makes me ponder

Why is it that some of the most important information you receive would be considered heresy in a court of law? Always second hand and re-interpreted, and who's to say that that interpretation is correct? So what does one do with all the mixed up feelings that this information brings on? You can't speak directly to the source, you weren't there for the original conversation, and you weren't there when it passed to your messenger - so is it true or twisted?

And if I do take it to the source what other drama might ensue?

What's more important, my questions or friendship?

Can a friendship withstand so many unspoken questions and still be a friendship?

August 11, 2009

158 sleeps

got a new swim suit - black and red with a keyhole racer back for actual SMIMMING IN THE OCEAN. It matches my shiny luggage.... hmmmm I may need new water shoes...

August 06, 2009

something from wickedocity

Five oclock and bumper to bumper fumes billow horns bellow.
A pool of silence in the cacophony of rush hour traffic, alone in my car.

Alone is like being a river - it just goes on never ending,
slowly eroding the need for "the one",
desire sinking quietly into the riverbed to lay fallow and mostly unnoticed.

The longer it lasts, the easier it becomes not to make an effort to change it.
No one to answer to, no one to disappoint, self contained, self-alienated, cloistered.

Watching the thunderstorms of other's lives makes me tired sometimes.

August 05, 2009

the tree is dead

and I am trying to catch up on 6 weeks of missing sleep while praying to the hundred little gods to make my lower mobile appendages better sooner than later after purchasing shiny red airplane luggage for 164 days from now.

July 28, 2009

midnite tick tocking by

scccrrreeeccchhhhh .... that is the sound of branches scraping on the metal flashing that protects the cable on the outside of my condo building. multiply nails on a chalkboard by 100000000000. Every time the wins blows. In Saskatchewan. I believe that I am now working on just about two months with very few solid nights sleep except for when I wasn't here or when I crashed from a late night out with the ladies.

I've asked the maintenance guy to prune the freakin tree a week ago. It has been determined that the tree is only 1 foot away from 2 foundation walls so must be removed. But I really really need it pruned before they remove it.

I bought a shiny new axe for camping this year...

July 20, 2009

180 sleeps to go

to the island mon.

January 17, 2010 cqan not - I say again, CAN NOT come fast enough.

Negril Jamaica - all inclusive - for 2 weeks with a dozen or more friends. Irie.

I can hear the ocean and smell the jerk spice now...

July 15, 2009

running out of steam

methinks I need to transform the social butterfly persona into a lear jet in order to keep up.

I've had a few lovely visits with Diane and Brenda - future in laws and a great steak supper with the boy, not to mention a backyard bbq with family for autumn's 11th bday and scrabble with deeanna and cocktails with goldie & crew yeaterday for her 19th.

Family pics today after work and maybe dinner - and Keppel should be arriving from Ottawa today as well.

anyone have a 10 foot pruning arm or a really sharp axe. The tree outside my window is now big enough to scrape its branches along the metall flashing protecting the cable wiring on the outside of the building and it is like fingernails on a chalk board. I just want to sleep for 5 or 6 hours in a row....screeech clickety clack screeeech.

Hopefully I'll make it out to the Jaw this weekend to see the dad and I think the boy might be tagging along as well. )Note to self - don't forget the kids thank you notes for the snorkel gear) and get back into town for Kyllo & Jaime's housewarming.

Sunday is the first meeting of Negril bound to make the decisions on dates etc for our trip in January 2010. I've never been further south than South Dakota - even though I've been across Canada - and AM I EXCITED!!!

Cheers brothers and sisters and enjoy the summer even if it doesn't really feel like it.

July 08, 2009

apparently I've been busy ;)

Here it is the 2nd week of July and it's been SO long since I've blogged a thing.

A double handful of birthdays (and 2 of my friends turned the big 50), 2 new babies and a third today maybe, 3 bachelorette parties and a wedding shower and a baby shower, 2 weddings, one wedding dress, a dress for me, a trip to Moose Jaw, a funeral, a few nights out with the ladies and gents, time with my grandkids, and 8 glorious days of camping at Madge Lake.

Yet I feel energized and I am sleeping 5 or 6 hpours a night. Yea! Me!

and now to the next leg of the summer.

fix the car window, get groceries, meet the in-laws to be, another trip to Moose Jaw, paint PJs basement, more birthdays, company from Ontario next week, 3 more weddings (2 on Aug 1st), another bachelorette party and 2 housewarmings, all in the next 3 weeks.

And I have to finish processing the almost 1000 pics I took at anarchy's wedding and honeymoon campout - I'm only a third of the way done.

breathe .....

June 17, 2009

it's raining

it's pouring
the lightning gods are roaring ...
the wind whips up,
the temps go down
and everything's fresh in the morning ;)

heatin' up

ahhh the prairie heat is back, and with the leftovers from the previous week of rain it's Georgia muggy and promises of thunderstorms in the evening. fine with me. Have fan, don't care.

trying to get my to do list ta done. mostly the stuff for other people is all happening now if only I could motivate myself to do my own stuff.

it's been pretty quiet round the homestead except for when Sethkin spent the night, but you're not likely to find quiet around an 8 year old boy unless he's crashed where he stopped. busy as the ever ready bunny and going through a cheeky defiant period at the same time. glad I'm just the grandma;)

got the plans for the kitchen done - have to go over them with Brian and hopefully in August or September I'll have cupboards and a new sink. who hoo!

One last bridal shower, 2 birthdays in the next week and 5 more weddings to go till Aug 1/09. oh yeah!

HUGE excited for Anarchy's nuptuals and the camping afterwards. I might even have my window fixed before I go.

and the theme from grease just popped into my head .... no worries

June 03, 2009

It's June and it's beautiful and I'm at work.

Whatever - I'll be off in a few hours.

I've been busy as a whirling dervish for days , maybe weeks now, but the major projects are accomplished, the planning just about done and now it's just a matter of waiting for the dates to roll around. caming camping camping.

I have the most wonderful group lady friends, they are absolute dolls !

May 24, 2009

neighbour hoods

strangers with loose dog.
Daughter asks them to remove it from her yard, leash it.

Result - a punch in the face by a total stranger in her own freaking yard.

Police have caught the perp.

(perp. hahahahahah so that show about the police station from the 70s maybey with Barney in it)

May 23, 2009

3 weeks later

busy busy busy. I've even had a few 24=hours of no PC.

Ckeaned out my closet and took all the blankets etc for drycleaning

fertilized plants and put on watering schedule that I am attempting to maintain.

Care tuned up, 2 new tires and 3 days in Swan River with the cousins, my dotter and the grands - it was great.

Crazy at work but I am now sort of caught up.

Finished seth's dinosaur pics.

burned pics from Swan for everyone and out the last disk in the mail friday.

FINALLY submitted everything for my first passport.

Am still working on plans for kitchen reno but Rochelle is going to each me the tinwork and her dad knows a guy for the tin.

The wedding project is almost done. Underskirt needs last hem, and the tunic needs a body in it before I put it all together. Ahead of schedule. Then I can stuff together for camping.

May 03, 2009


and it was! Thank you oh hundred little gods for letting Ra come out to play! I basked for several hours and my solar cells seem to finally be replete. That does not however mean that I would not sincerely appreciate regular play dates.


like gravity,

I do so love it when I'm pity tripping.

Going to bed now and hopefully the new day will be better.

April 30, 2009

pocket buddha has directed me to randomly tag myself - nice trick that
The rules of this meme are as follows:
- Respond to and rework the meme.
- Answer the questions on your own blog.
- Replace one question and add one question.
- Tag 8 people
abigail road,
la diva,

What are your current obsessions?
Abigail's wedding dress, the kitchen renos and travel.

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
My 2 favorite bras, my cushy blue wool socks, my mephistos and my Elton John hoody - though I did pick up this fabulous yellow blouse that looks like shantung silk which will soon become a fave I'm sure.

What's for dinner?
food. probably something healthy. blech !!

What is your greatest fear at the moment?
That my kitchen won't get done this summer

What are you listening to?
about 6 other conversations and the hum of my fan which is usually loud enough to drown those people out. Apparently my hearing is extra acute today.

If you were a god/goddess what would you be?
Hmmmm, perhaps Innana or maybe Mahadevi.

What are your favourite holiday spots?
All the places I haven't gone yet and Swan River Manitoba

What are you reading right now?
Beyond the Dragon's Mouth by Shiva Naipaul.

What are four words that describe you?
four is not enough.

What is your guilty pleasure?
pedicures and kentucky fried chicken ... I know!

What is one thing you could never live without?
I dig the music device, but if all else fails I can at least hum a happy tune. I need people - or some way to communicate with people, other than the ones already in residence.

What is your favourite spring thing to do?
Walk in freshly cut grass in barefeet to the deck and sit in the glorious sun with my friends and enjoy a pint or 2.

Where are you planning to travel next?
Swan River for my twin Aunties 65th birthday. Party at the legion with the whole damn town ;)

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
roasted turkey & fresh tomatoe sandwich on ancient grains bread.

When was the last time you were tipsy?
Sometime around the end of March, though I wish I was right now.

What is your favourite ever film?
The LOTR trilogy but I wish Tom Bombadil was in there somewhere .. Oh and Dangerous Liasons

What is the biggest life lesson you've learned from your kids?
Pick your fights on your ground.

What song can't you get out of your head?
w w workin' at the carwash - hmmm hmm hmhmh hmmm workin' as a car wash er..wowowowowo

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
Actually I just did. I read Catcher in the Rye and was so nonplussed. and all.

What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
My olfactory and hearing senses are extremely sensitive - though that might just be the undiagnosed ADD ;)

April 24, 2009

Hey you

What are you looking at?

Could you move your head just a little to the left please?


April 21, 2009

my lovely devi

My 8 year old grandotter wrote this in 10 minutes for my dotter when she got in a wee bit o'trouble the other day: original spelling

To: My favorit Mommy in the WORLD

You made me swim like a fish,
I love you more than barries,
And very often I wish,
That we could be married.

You’re my favorit mom in the world,
And I Love you for who you are,
I wish I could fly up into space,
And bring you back a star.

Love: Devi

April 20, 2009

I gots me tickets!!!!

ridin' on

April 13, 2009

what a GREAT weekend! GIST

1. 3 uninterrupted days to spend with my dad, to chat and talk money, politics, city planning, how fast snow melts, which is better strawberry or raspberry, tree reforestation, rates of orchard growth, basic mechanics, a lesson in computer familiarity, the vagaries of a good cup of coffee, what to do with a million bucks and a plethora of other topics.
2. Watching Shall We Dance with my dad because that's what HE wanted to watch. No wonder I love ballroom so much.
3. Cooking for someone who REALLY appreciates it and watching them stuff themselves sleepy.
4. Taking the Gator out for the first spring tour.
5. Baked ham with my family for easter supper. Funny that we eat ham when Jesus was a jew and they aren't allowed to eat pork. Maybe that's why we eat ham.... hmmm

April 09, 2009

everything's relative

The jawline is relatively normal.
I'm relatively caught up at work.
I'm spending easter weekend between the relatives.
I'll be relatively happy if I get tickets to AC freaking DC for my son (who was too young in 1988)myself and perhaps the grandson.
Dakar is relatively clean.
My niece Tray is relatively safe - she's in Roma - and felt the earthquake. Thank the 100 little gods for blog updates.
And I am relatively tired of relativity.

April 06, 2009

a new week

So here's to hoping that the last few weeks were the end of the body's traitorous acquisitions of various virii.

Work's not too behind, I made this killer homemade coconut cream pie with hand toasted coconut... mmmmmm. Low fat - no added sugar(splenda) and mostly milk so it's even good for you ;) I was however forced to remember that I smashed to smithereens, my mom's deep dish glass pie pan in December, and have yet to replace it. So I used my round enamel roaster, worked great and even has a lid that doesn't interfere with the whipped cream.

Off to MJ on Thursday to stay with my dad for a few days while his wife is out of town and then back for easter with the grands. Mandy is cooking the ham for Sunday. A nice little family gathering.

However, between the family diversions I do intend to take Saturday nite off and visit my friends I haven't seen in what seems like forever and pop down to the pub as well. mmmm Guinness, I missed you too.

March 28, 2009

the vinyl vault: first 10

I was catching up on some blogs the other day and Abigail has a new meme which I need to borrow: 25 top albums that shaped your life - couldn't resist.
The rules are:
Think of 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you and how they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions, etc. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. No being cool, which albums have you actually listened to thousands of times? Please note that some of these are single songs since it was all about the 45s when I started buying vinyl ;)

1. In 1966 My best friend Cora Lynn and I used to karoke Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Were Made For Walking" on our front steps. They were brick and built so there were 2 arms to use as separate stages. With the song came the knowledge that I am not a carpet.

2. In grade school Halfbreed by Cher: reflected how I din't really fit in anyone's expectations because mine were already so vastly different. Her version of the Long and Winding Road became my theme for ever time we moved (every 2 years - dad was a banker)

3. Donny Osmond's singles - They were probably compliled on a best of album somewhere but these songs made me and my girlfriends sing in grades 4 and 5. One Bad Apple (which my dad occasionally called me), YoYo (which I used to dance to at the bus stop when I was delivering papers at 6:30 am. the first time the ticket clerk was scandalized but after that she just smiled and occasionally nodded her head, and Puppy Love (my first boy girl dance with Steven)

4. Michael Jackson's Ben - except for me it was my cat Snooper.

5. Harmony by Three Dog Night - One, Old Fashioned Love Song, & Black and White. I started to play it in 1973, My mantras in grade 6, I was 12? and they explained Me, Me & Love, and Me & the World. First Album I ever purchased in fact.

6. Alice Cooper - School's Out. Bought the album while attending catholic school and wearing the first pair of hot pants. Pink jersey with monet style flowers in yeoow and orange. Crazy Hot.

7. John Denver Rocky Mountain High - back when I still liked country music, grade 7, and totally misunderstood what he meant by rocky mountain high ;)

8. April Wine : the album with Oowatanite on it. Cow Bell. C'mon quit wastin' time!!!!

9. Elton John's Good Bye Yellow Brick Road - what can say? Perfect for an angst ridden antisocial 13 year old.

10. Heart - any album - Strong women can be anything they choose.... baracuda!

5 days later

well I'm somewhat better but still exhausted. Antibiotics are starting to help the bronchitis but the quietude is getting to me. Too much time to think. Regrets and memories popping out of nowhere.

At the beginning of grade 2, about the same age my grandson is now, I had an affinity for the limitless sky and I talked to the moon. I made my first visit to the Winnipeg planetarium that autumn, just before my birthday and it was a REALLY BIG DEAL. Over a hundred students, though it seemed like thousands, filed into the amphitheater, voices hushed, punctuated with the occasional childish squeal. Directed to our seats, we climbed into them as anticipation throbbed like a second heartbeat.

The lights dimmed, words poured out of the void and my seat tilted back as an evening sky dimmed to royal, then deepest blue shading to obsidian. My breath caught and the first nano brightness appeared in the northern sky. Like pinpricks through LiteBrite, stars were born and coalesced into the milky way spinning across my own personal universe, so close I could have reached out and caught one in my hand.

Old Sol flaring alive with heat, the realization that the sun really was a star illuminating a newborn landscape in my imagination. The planets, no longer two dimensional pictures in the Reader's Digest World Atlas but spinning nonchalantly through the night sky, immense and heavy, the colours surreal. First love happened then and there, I never wanted to leave.

The questions that trip engendered are some of the same questions I am still asking myself 40 years later. The awe and wonder of the magnitude of the universe beats in my heart still.

The next summer,1969, I was 7 1/2, Apollo 11 landed on the moon and humankind took its first steps on a different planet. Utterly mesmerized by the foggy images on our black and white television, I ached to be an astronaut walking on Mars and fly through the rings of Saturn.

Anything was possible to me then. No matter that my teachers told me I couldn't, my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be, and that the others who nay sayed me would forever limit themselves by their own unbelief.

The sheer gloriousness of believing that I would someday walk among the stars was my shield against the drudgery and angst of everyday life. Childish as it was, I could go there and hide from all the ugliness of reality.

But time passes and glories dim. Failures intrude and living pushes those dreams into the nooks and crannies reserved for ancient history. Until one night while camping, lying in a field with the endless sky above you, the artesian well of hidden joy springs forth and lifts your heart on a magic carpet ride through the milkyway, just a hand's breadth away.

Another reason to always remain 8 years old.

March 23, 2009

I love spring

The flue 3 weeks ago, snow mould, and too much time around furry animals equals hack hack gurgle spit cough, unscratchable itch, 3 hours sucking up a variety of other unknown virii at the clinic, and no freaking sleep.

I love spring.

March 21, 2009

ready in fifteen -

Toss the cordless across the room, convoy arrival in,

15 minutes: Quicksort the closet: work, social, out, formal, alternate season and or size.
Parameters: Season? (woe betide those in this situation at change of season when everything is fair game) Where? When? Who? Party or pints? What did I wear there last?

Spring+pub+Satevening+crew&Oldfriend(fair missed)+blujeans whitehodievest= Blk jeans RB Penguin tee jacket

11 minutes: personal hygiene

7 minutes: Mineral particulate clings to horsehair, the gentle sweep grants release to settle into crannied nooks transforming reality to delusion. Tortuous steel teeth force kinks into place of natural arcs. Sticks of wax and unknown oily bits redefining planes and curves, provoking false perceptions, and inviting alternate possibilities.

*** howling in silent glee as I reread that last ;)

2 minutes: dressed, shod, and wrapped,(wriggle pull tuck) purse/phone/cash/maybe camera.

A touch of scent, she locks her door from the inside.

The phone rings, right on time.

March 20, 2009

tip toe

through the tulips,
in the garden,
taht is where I'll be .....

ROTFL - then I get this vision of my sister and myself with 30 pounds of caked mud up our legs trying to clear dad's raspberry garden ... beautiful.

stupid gardens.

March 19, 2009

happy birthday Murray

It is hard to believe you are 26 today and yet so easy to see. I love you. I am proud of who you are whatever you may think. You are so very talented and generous. I am looking forward to supper. Huge dk hugs.

March 17, 2009

Irish for a day

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone - may you live in interesting times ;)

March 11, 2009

doin' the nod

Setting: on a wild a wicked windy winter wednesday wench wends her way past bushes so fozen the twigs crackle and pop with each blustery blow. Unbeknowst to our heroine steam seeps from the tendrils of shower damp hair peeking out of her parka hood to create a personal fog that follows everywhere she steps.

A brazen 13 story block of semi modern cement beckons ...

Enter wench: (a mad dash from the taxi to the front door)sotto mumble: thank the hundred little gods the auto lock is turned off this time of morning she reaches to her face to wipe the encroaching fog from her specs only to find that she isn't wearing any. what the ...? her brows scrinch down upon the bridge of her nose and she flutters her worn gloves in front of her face seeking clearer air without any luck.

She heaves the door open and the wind slams it against the safety rail on the other side, clanging and banging echoes through the elevator foyer of a workplace barren of its denizens except for the singular security guard at 7:30 in the morning.

Morning Lman the usuaul smile absent from her normally cheerful visage
The security guard chuckles Cold enough for ya?
muttering under her breath as she stabs the UP button everyone's a f.... comedian!

The elevator opens onto her floor aromatic with the scent of early morning coffee, after a brief arguement with the door combination lock she finally makes it into her cubicle to divest herslef of the winter layers needed for survival this week of the ides of March. Mumbling to herself as she peels, This coat is too freakin heavy, the scarf scratches, damn, dropped the stupid glove again, where's I put my smokes, gowd I need caffeine, why is the PC on? where'd I put that urgent file - ouch... damn file drawer ...

you get the picture... by 2:00pm she is quietly doing the nod as the sugar from the kung pao chicken combines with the burgeoning heat rising from the floors below. Hope she doesn't snore ;)

March 09, 2009

Mr. Winter's response:

I am a cold hearted mother.... and it sucks to be you.

March 08, 2009

Dear Winter:

I submit. You are all powerfull. You have trodden the strongest hearts and wills into bloody heartcicles and we are done in. We are depressed and cold and tired and cold and bitchy and cold and we really only like our beer cold. Which by the way, you manage to freeze when left in the trunk for 4 hours.

Please go south and/or north for your hibernatory period and allow us to refresh our memories of warmth, and sun that has heat, and walks around the lake that don't see one frozen in place on the Trafalger bridgehead. Or go to Cuba I hear it's nice there this time of year.

The winter blues, the flue, the ague, the sniffles, headcolds, bronchitis, pneumonia, arthritis, bursitis, excema will follow your recession into the hinterland and the peasants will rejoice.

Please make us happy and go away.

With all my heart,
the frozen flatlands

February 27, 2009

I read it on the internets ...

so it's true.

Patty & dk are skinny bitches.

Ten random things beginning with the letter G:

An invitation to meme from Saviabella : you get a random letter assigned to you and then you create a list of your ten favourite things that begin with that letter. Savia has assigned me with the letter G.

As a G stream of consciousness:

1. Good times - c'mon, that was a Gimme ..... LOL I kill me!

2. Gigabytage - the more the better and in this case size does in fact matter. I am now flirting with Terabytage .... what can I fill it up with?

3. Gin. Specifically Bombay Gin .... with soda, a splash of tonic (enough so that it glows in the dark) and lime juice with wedges. In a Pint glass, doubled. On the deck ....ah it all goes back to summer.

4. The word "gadzooks" which is commonly used as an exclamation. However Deb & I looked up the etymology this morning and it comes from "God's hooks: as in the nails used in the crucifixion of Christ. I guess in this case a painful exclamation. Sometimes I think I should just star iggerrant.

5. The ideology of the "Goddess", the "great Mother", and Gaia", all gals with a plan and an understanding of how we are all interconnected.

6. Gargoyles: the protective ones not the evil slimy ones.

7. Gangster movies, the old black and whites, stylin'.

8. Guns: the noise they make and the damage they do. Respectfully, and in a good way, and not on people. I am an avid ingestor of the wild. Elk, deer, moose, bison. Have you ever tried to catch your dinner with a bow & arrow? It's usually NOT. But the feeling - like electric shock, when you are shooting ... like heroin only better.

9. Galapagos - my dream dream vacation, a month just drifting from island to island - well, not really drifting, how about sailing ... yes - that's it! The fecundity of that part of the earth is limitless.

10. Grapefruits. Sweet and tart. What a saucy breakfast. The juice without sugar so it puckers your kisser, specially the ruby red ones. I eat them like oranges.

And as a bonus G-Man. You know who you are ;)
G, G,, let's sing the song of Geeeeeeee.

4 days off and it's -35 ... hurry up spring

It is too cold to trudge over to Bitten - only 7 blocks away to go to my belated staff christmas party. I have wasted many hours now trying to reinstall my Sims game with no success though I did make it work on my daughter's PC. I had to uninstall it when the boys got a virus on my laptop. I had it working, the I broke it with the add ons. Damn.

But the plumber is coming tomorrow to install my new kitchen taps, since I broke the hot tap off in my hand on Christmas day - only 2 years old and I had them custom ordered. Not happy Home Depot. Hopefully I'll have a visit with my son, a quick tan, then birthday cake with not-so-crazy Patty's crew and pints with Clinton if he's around and about.

Saturday an early visit to PJ's, maybe tea with Saviabella, and a casual evening over at Dixie Chick's.

I started a different blog ... wickedocity ... it is not politically correct. Consider yourself warned should you venture there.

improvise & overcome

... and why would I choose to associate myself with a term that most used used in a derogatory manner?
In order to change the meaning of a word or create a new meaning for a word, one must own the word. Over time and use the word may evolve to mean other than was originally intended & to that end...
my definition: an independent woman

dictionary definitions:

1. informal term for a (young) woman
2. an unsupervised umarried woman
3. a young woman or girl, esp. a peasant girl.
(usually facetious)
3. a woman servant
4. a wanton woman
5. Archaic: a strumpet
[Origin: 1250–1300; ME, back formation from wenchel, OE wencel child]

synonom :"dame"

Women Entitled to Nothing but Complete Happiness

International Wenches Guild

what do you believe?


This website is for entertainment purposes only. Advice by trained professionals should always be sought in place of any recommendations or information provided herein. Opinions expressed on this website do not reflect the opinions of the wench’s employers, family, or friends, unless otherwise noted.

Thank you to for the text of this disclaimer :)

DON'T STEAL, PLEASE: Please do not copy/paste, or Shift CNTRL C any text or images without wench’s express permission. It is not nice and I would most likely share if you asked. Send me an email to