March 21, 2007

24 things I thought would be fun but weren't

idea c/o schmutzie & abigail: here's my list, my only problem was limiting it to 24 and changing names to preserve both the guilty and the innocent.

1. the multitudinous hair scare affairs (a list all on it's own). short, long, permed, shaved, semi shaved, coloured (platinum to blue black and even blue). and streaked and streaked and streaked. now no perm, naturally curly, long and just enough clairol to keep the white wings and the elvira streak at bay.

2. not really more fun, but faster so I could go and have some fun:plucking the black hairs on my chinny chin chin instead of bleaching them.

3. throwing a dollar's worth of fingerling firecrackers into grandpa's shed. lit. i hid in the horse pasture for a long long time.

4. deciding that it was best to go commando under my wedding gown in the CHURCH - and NOT telling the bridesmaids before they helped to get my train into the limo.

5. attempting to walk accross the 6 foot high monkeybars on the tarmacked schoolgrounds in Swan River the first day of summer vacation, when I knew I was not supposed to. ... broken wrist, cast came off in mid september.

6. got stuck on the tow rope at Mt. Argosy and couldn't get off at the bunny hill (1st time skiing), got off at TOP of tow, and decided to "snowplow" all the way down. hit a small jump on the intermediate slope and barely managed to stay upright, lost a pole and straight armed into the retaining wall at the bottom. more like "snowball"

7. attempting to launch on waterskis while SITTING ON A WOODEN DOCK!

8. giving myself a homemade tatoo, and going over it 3 times for good measure.

9. riding a motorcycle in a skirt and 5" spikes, and forgot about the exhaust pipe. thank the hundred little gods I wasn't wearing nylons.

10. marrying him ... and him ... and almost marrying them.

11. buying my son a skateboard.

12. piercing my daughter's ears

13. having a waterballoon fight with the balloons I found in my dad's sock drawer. they were great, toss em off the garage and they bounced if you hit the grass. latex is tuff.

14. setting up a "travois" - without taking into account how far the horse could reach with his kick.

15. talking my sister into sticking a fork into the kitchen plugin when i was about 8. actually that was fun

16. deciding that supersliders were actually made for downhill.

17. drinking 28 shots of tequila in 2 hours on my 28th birthday. el stupido!

18. attepting to teach my cat Snooper to swim.

19. taking turns shooting each other with BB guns

20. "borrowing" the tribike to go to the store - and driving by my dad who had forbidden it on the street on the way there.

21. attaching a corn on the cob to a fishing line and dragging it behind the car down 8th Street in Saskatoon. When the police want to know what you are doing . . . "Trolling for pigs."

22. zoomers for 2 days before and during the ACDC concert. i did WHAT?

23. volunteer to help a friend move to find out that the old place is on the 3rd floor and so is the new place - in separate buildings . . . and there is no elevator.

24. while working nightshift, to catch up on my sunbathing by going to sleep in the yard around 11am and waking up at 2:30pm ... in mid july.

1 comment:

abigailroad said...

Holy shit. 'Trolling for pigs'....Fun-neee!

improvise & overcome

... and why would I choose to associate myself with a term that most used used in a derogatory manner?
In order to change the meaning of a word or create a new meaning for a word, one must own the word. Over time and use the word may evolve to mean other than was originally intended & to that end...
my definition: an independent woman

dictionary definitions:

1. informal term for a (young) woman
2. an unsupervised umarried woman
3. a young woman or girl, esp. a peasant girl.
(usually facetious)
3. a woman servant
4. a wanton woman
5. Archaic: a strumpet
[Origin: 1250–1300; ME, back formation from wenchel, OE wencel child]

synonom :"dame"

acronym:
Women Entitled to Nothing but Complete Happiness

International Wenches Guild

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