January 27, 2007

adventures with mascara ...

I don't normally wear makeup. I used to wear it all the time - so bad for your skin unleass you have the time for all of cleasing regimens etc. now it's moisturizer, occasional coverup, and off I go.

so thursday last I decided what the hell, let's get all made up for a change. so I picked up my mascara, untwisted the cap and .... eerrgghh! it's stuck! twist turn pull, even tried pliers but no, the freaking brush appears to have become one with the container. my last attempt broke the brush right off ... still in the container.

so now it's personal. simple solution: off to shopper's I go to get some new mascara. did you know that there are almost a hundred different kinds of mascara? not to be daunted and not wanting to waste any time I asked for assistance. "What type of mascara do you want?" she asked. c'mon it's mascara! it's all pretty much the same. ok, so I want black waterproof that doesn't make my eyelashes stick together if I pass out without washing it off and doesn't require special removal products. I really didn't think it was that difficault a request. so she comes back with no less than 15 kinds of mascara! defining, curly, thickening, lengthening, lift and separate (sound more like a bra)12 hour, 24 hour, non smudge, non tear, strengthening, protein enriched, blue black, very black, smokey black and black (most by different manufacturers).

we then launch into a half hour discussion on the merits of these products, leaving me at my wits end as to which one to choose. apparently real waterproof means you need product to remove it, most of the non tear and smudgeless ones do as well - but of course there are a few exceptions. So I chose the black smudgefree nonclumping easy-removal mascara and went on my way, thinking what the hell am I going to do when I need new foundation (mine wasn't on the shelves anymore and there are so MANY more kinds of foundation). by this time I dropped my purchase at home and went out face au natural.

so Friday comes along and not being one to give up easily (I call it persistent, others say stubborn), to renew my relationship with makeup. I pull out my newly purchased mascara and begin the application process. not too bad. I only stuck myself in the eye once (hard to do when you need glasses to see up close)and when I creied it didn't smadge - cool. mascara applied, I realize it has made some of my eyelashes stick together - so I spend 15 minutes separating my lashes. much better - but it seems a bit much to me. what do I know I haven't been doing this for awhile. finish the face and off I go.

now when you don't normally wear makeup, the menagarie of reactions the change elicits from your buddies can make a woman paranoid. most common: "You never wear makeup!" and "How come you're all dressed up?" are to be expected. then come the other comments: "How was the CURE concert?" damn has the mascara smudged?, but it did make me laugh "You look so pretty" - good one but the intonation it makes me wonder, am I ugly without it. "Wow, what a difference!" - good or bad? "Who are you all dolled up for?" can't a body get girlified just because she wants to? and the list goes on ...

I tried to wash the damn shit off when I got home and guess what, you got it! It does not remove easily with water so I went to bed. ... and now it's morning and I truly do look like I went to a Cure concert or joined the racoon family. thank the hundred little gods I still had some removal crap in the old make up bag.

this is just too bloody complicated, I think I'll stick to makeup for special occasions only.


schmutzie said...

I may be wrong about the brand, but I bought Loreal's Voluminous, and it didn't smudge, it came off with soap and water, and it smelled like cake. It's more, but it's worth it.

abigailroad said...

I too, have been stumped by the mascara buying. I purchase make-up, approximately once every decade. The last time I went to buy mascara, I had a shit at how expensive it was, didn't know what kind to get, and walked out of Shopper's with some cigarettes and a book instead.

dk said...

smells like cake you say? mmmm - between that & my indecence I'll be a scent-sation. as for price - this stuff was $10 - maybe I should get an eyelash curler - that might help control the clumping ... think I'll take it back and look at the Loreal.
much thanks ladies :)

My Head Is Too Big said...

Found you! Geez, DK. Didn't know you were such a good writer. Cheers for the link. I'l be back.

improvise & overcome

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dictionary definitions:

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(usually facetious)
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4. a wanton woman
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