5 on the 27th : girlfriends

We used to be such great friends until you hermitized yourself away. I'm sorry I could not be everything you needed me to be. I've tried to call but you changed your cell number and have no landline. I cannot find your address to write you a letter. I miss you.

You make me want to smile and dance every time I see you. You have this open handed generosity that supercedes that of everyone I have ever known. Your ups and downs and continual questioning let me know that it's okay to be confused sometimes. You throw a great freaking party! Just remember that you do need to take time for yourself once in a while. smooches.

Your smile can brighten up the whole place when you let it out. Your sense of the absurd is delicious and makes me laugh. You remind me of myself 15 years ago. Don't work too hard, money is great but we do have to have a few limits. Did you know that you have this precious little gurgle in your laugh that triggers laughter in others? Thanks.

Your adaptability and inner strength are amazing, yet you perceive yourself as weak? Love is a wonderful and betimes nasty hook into other peoples lives and none of us can be everything to everyone. You wit matches your intelligence and your writing is amazing. Watching you get trampled by uncaring bastards drives me crazy but you manage to keep poking your head up through the grunge and carry on. Intestinal Fortitude you have in spades my fried. You make me appreciate life more.

Well Miss Sunshine you are quite simply a "lovely gel". Your sense of honour appeals to me. Your love of music and need to belong to a community is a wonderful thing. You are such a GREAT mom, never doubt it. Whenever I see you the intervening time just swooshes away and my day is always brighter for your appearance. Woot!

la la la loverly ...

the sun wa sshining, the wind below a gale ... my knee didn't give out on the way to work. There were only 2 letters waiting for me and a bunch of people who took the time to come and say hi, and that they were glad I was back. Apparently it has ben vewy vewy qwiet. I felt so good after getting through the 475 emails in my mailbox that I decided to attempt to purchase a new pair of jeans ( a situation that Abigail would surely understand). I determined a budget of $150 for a pair of walking shoes suitable for work, a new top and a pair of jeans.

I came home with a pair of jeans, a smashing pair of chocolate brown velvet brushed cords, 4 tops (3 with sparklies and one beribboned & reembroidered), 2 pair of pretty panties, a pair of black walking shoes and a some vintage looking white shades, for less than $150. So I treate dmyself to lunch and a pint with the change.

happy happy dayliola ...

trepidatious ...

Why can I not find a single thing to wear on my first day back to work (BIG YAY) in 2 months? I have all the same clothes I had when I went off work. I weigh only 7 or 8 pounds lighter - which is nothing. I have included some spring themed wardrobe pieces put away for the winter of which my friends remind me, I mostly missed the worst (little yay.) I am not happy with any of my choices. This is probably fall out from too many episodes of waht not to wear. Pant or skirt, hmmm visions of razors, we'll go with pants. Jeans or dress pants, jeans are warmer and it's still a little chilly out there and it does take me a little longer to walk to work. Now... blouse, t-shirt, sweater, hoody or jacket? Too many choices and I realized through the hunt that I need A. a new bra B. a new pair of jeans and C. new walking shoes. AND a haircut. Just where did I put that money tree?

Why on Thursday last when I had figured out what I would wear, did I not realize A,B & C?

This would be one of my reasons for needing to get back to work. Staying at home you become rather insular, you lose grip with current events and get lost in the round of day to day housework and grocery lists and appointments etc. I feel like my brain has been sort of in a holding pattern at too high an altitude. But my knee feels pretty good.

So I want to go back to work, yet at the same time time I worry if I will be able to keep up. Something has snapped. It's like someone created a slow leak in the "passion for life" tank and the gasket goop I've been applying is just not cutting the mustard. I never felt a lack of confidence about my job before. The job hasn't changed. My skills may be a bit rusty but they're there. WTF?

so right now I am trepidatious.

what to do...

Spring is in the air and apparently it found the dk motivator switch OR she finally got so bored she seriously started looking for things to do. Not even reading can grab her attention for more than 20 minutes or so.
On St Paddy's day my doctorola gave me the green to go back to work next Tuesday. BIG FREAKING YAY! I'm sure that helped the getupandgogo levels.

All the plantage has been debrided of its detritus and some moved to better views.
I not only installed two shelves that I couldn't put in the bathroom (hollow 100 year old gumbo and wire grill walls)in the living room window but actually REMEMBERED there was a third and got it happening as well.
Quite smashing, they are shiny stainless steel rounded bars. As I was searching in the closet of projects that had gone to hell, I also found the lovely matching swing arm towel rack ... same wall support issue ... I was thinking laundry hanger, hanger, plant hanger that will let me hang plants in the obtuse angle in the living room without attempting to drill the cement slab ceiling that is underneath more 100 year old plaster (you can just see the disaster shaping up there can't you?).
Dusting and sweeping were commenced on Wednesday last and as I look down my hardwood hallway today I wonder why I bothered.
I have gone for a short walk every day.I can do 2 flights of stairs before the knee starts to pull from strain, I actually managed to do laundry today and that's 2 flights 6 times with an hour rest between - not so bad - but that's it for the stairs today. I certainly won't be doing the watusi any time soon.
The bathroom elbow joint is still dripping however, and I think the tub tap is on it's way there as well.
Going the the dotter's tonight to do eggs and take pictures of tomorrow's bunny madness, and turkey dinner ... mmmmm.

Hoppy Bunny Day to all.

and now it's 6:15

hmmmm - time to make coffee - tried to go to bed again, even tried reciting the multiplication x5 tables (works for a friend of mine) but no shut eye for this cat. I did however note that there are 3 drill holes from my last futile attempts at installing hooks and plant hangers that I need to fill. (never mind plaster, the beams are cement over huge wood timbers and some tough unknown shit from 1914), right under the layer of plaster. Even a cement bit wouldn't chew through it.

Then I also noticed that I had not finished the painting effect in the bedroom because I am not yet stable on a ladder. Then it was on to I should reorganize all my furniture (too heavy to do alone and will wake up the downstairs neighbours), and the various configurations possible, none of which pleased me. I know! I'll paint the other 2 walls and the ceiling ... hmmm what shade of yellow should I use now, something lighter I think (currently buddha gold)and then it was back to the ladder thing. Which of course led my brain to my terminally cabinetless kitchen and then off to dream cabinets.dk with oak and punched tin and my new sink that's been in my clost for 4 years now (at least I got the taps installed last year). And cabinets and deep pot drawers and counterspace ... just a minute ...
What is that noise? Oh yes the new drip in the tub faucet ...

You can see how useful that exercize was. Onward ho, it's Saturday.

3 am

So here it is.almost 3 in the morning and I am awake and not tired at all - again. Not tired but the brain is in a frenzy tired. Not caffeine (only 2 cups today) or sugar (I don't eat sugar though those Easter chocolates are lookin' pretty tasty) wired tired. Not I've been up so long I can't shut down tired. Just plain awake. My mind is calm, I'm a little hungry, I'm not particularly stressed but apparently tonight I do not need sleep. I want to sleep. I spent 2 hours lying with my eyes closed waiting for sleep to come and visit. But no.

I'm sure I will be tired when I take the boneshaker to visit my son's new apartment. In fact somewhere along Albert Street I expect I will start doing the nod and pray to the hundred little gods that I do not miss my stop (Has happened several times). And I am sure that I will be even more tired by tomorrow afternoon. In fact if I can manage it I will be so tire tomorrow night from trying to stay awake so that I can sleep Saturday night, that I will then become too tired and will find myself in the same predicament as I do now (worst case scenario).

And by the way - naps don't work either. If I nap for less than an hour I just want to go back to sleep. If I nap for 3 hours, my body thinks it's morning when I get up. At this rate when I'm 70 I'll only be sleeping 3 hours a day/night whatever - like it will matter - I'll be 70 and do what I want when I want.

Not bad managed to stay focused for a whole 17 minutes. I think I will go read a book.

100

This year if I add up my kids and my ages it equals 100 years of accumulated ... what, wisdom? Hah! I think I'll go with cumulative experience.

Bit of a sprain in the ligament on the side of my knee. Thank you bathtub. Everyone thought it was strong enough ... not quite. I have managed to walk 4 blocks sans the cane - BIG progress as far as I'm concerned - it's always falling down and getting in the way. They should make a telescoping cane with more tensile strength so you can fold it up when you are seated. Like the white canes for the blind, only stronger. I've spoken to a fair number of elderly people in my shuffles to the store and we all think it's a grand idea. Someone please run with it ... heh heh.

life sucks

it's gravity's fault.

5x20 questions

In lieu of any brilliant discussion I will take Madame Diva's lead and answer 100 misc. questions about myself. Thank you Diva baby, cause the brain is about dead.


1. How old will you be in five years?
51

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
Myself, we all had a great time.

3. How tall are you?
I used to be 5'7" but apparently gravity and centrifugal force are not my friends and I have shrunk to 5' 6 1/2"

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Having a knee that works, a leg that supports me and getting back to work.

5. What's the last movie you saw?
The Bucket List - laugh till you cry and then laugh through the tears.

6. Who was the last person you called?
Mandy, my dotter.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Chris for Murray's new number.

8. What was the last text message you received?
Rod crackbooked me one "That's beatiful" about a limmerick I wrote the other day.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
Paul, Deb's son about last minute moving arrangements.

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
I do not text, but I email.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
In the shower.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Divorced when I was 14 and both remarried.

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
Over 15 years ago at her funeral, or her picture right by the phone at least 10 times a day.

14. What color are your eyes?
Blueish to greenish depends on what I'm wearing and how I'm feeling.

15. What time did you wake up today?
6 and went backto sleep until 7:45

16. What are you wearing right now?
My favorite jammies

17. What song are you listening to right now?
Iggy Pop - Shades.

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
On the beach/deck.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
Lawyer's.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Lhasa, Kathmandu, Daramsala, Bangkok, Bora Bora, Bali, the South Pacific, Australia, China, Japan, Jerusalem, Amsterdam, British Isles.

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Making retirement travel plans and at My grandotter's grade 12 grad.

22. Where is your cellphone?
Gone gone gone - I only like them when I want to use them.

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
I didn't, I had an imaginary friend that kept watch.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
Robin's last comment on crackbook. I laugh alot.

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
1 - Living room.

26. How big is your bed?
Big enough ;)

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Multiples.

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Living alone naked, with room mates - Tshirt or jammies

29. What color are your sheets?
French floral.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1 body pillow, 4 reg pillows and 2 peach softy chenille pillows that my grandkids and my son are always trying to nab.

31. What is your favorite season?
Summertime ... an the livin' is eeeasyyyyy.

32. What do you like about fall?
My birthday and hallowe'en.

33. What do you like about winter?
Irish coffee and fireplaces.

34. What do you like about the summer?
Heat and the deck.

35. What do you like about spring?
Packing away the socks.

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
3 - Sk, Mb, Ont for the most part.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Winnipeg Brandon Fort Frances Neilberg Estevan Regina Saskatoon (and a couple of weeks each in a variety of others)

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
bare feet. I got to wear bare feet 4 times in February - WHOO HOO. Just be sure to moisturize.

39. Are you a social person?
I am a social butterfly.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Vanilla yogurt - Activia.

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
The one at the Bali Hilton.

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Mayan CHocolate - Hagen Das

43. What is your favorite dessert?
dkz death by chocolate cheesecake and donnakayke which is this frozen lemony cream pound cake that tastes like lemon merengue pie, homemade fisheye pudding and buttertart pie.

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Homemade. Seafood chowder especially with giant scallops.

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Homemade raspberry.

46. Do you like Chinese food?
Real or North Americanized? I do not like chicken feet.

47. Do you like coffee?
Dark and thick.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
6-8

49. What do you drink in the morning?
A glass of water, Sunrype fruit and veggie juice, then coffee.

50. What was the name of your first pet?
It was a rabbit, and I don't know (3years) and then a pony (also don't know)

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I sleep all over the bed.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
Yup.

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Don't you?

54. Have you ever been to Mexico?
Alas I have yet to make it to Senor Frog's.


55. Do you have an addictive personality?
Oh yeah, start with coffee and chocolate.

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Home, I cook.

57.Where is #57?
On the Heinz 57 steak sauce bottle.


58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Only one.

59. Do you want kids?
Not yours, do you want mine?

60. Do you speak any other languages?
English, pigdin, drunkish alittle French, a soupcon of italian and I know how to swear in swedish gaelic german hindi parsi and chinese. Love languages.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Last ones were for my knee surgery in January.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yes, after a car accident when I was 15.

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Ocean

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Plane-window, anything else the aisle.

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Yup.

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
My grnads and my friends and electronica.

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
My earrings, 8 of them anyhow.

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Toss up, if there's dancing singing or humour involved ... and my guilty secret "What Not To Wear"

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Oh yeah!

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
That's a toughie because the crew I hang with are pretty hilarious.

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
tNo, unless the grandkids are over, they bring their own.

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
It's a wall phone, it sounds like a phone.

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
All gone.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
The Official Scrabble dictionary.

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
yes, until I rinse.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Doesn't matter.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
A bear, I have a better chance of getting away.

78. Do you flirt a lot?
Not really.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't eat them, but chicken fingers get mayo.

80. What is your favorite food?
Seafood, wild meat and creamy sauces.

81. Do you know how to change the oil in a car?
Yes, I used to do my owncar maintenance.

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes 2. One they threw out and the other I worked bingos to pay off.

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
Sure when I shared a car.

84. What is your usual bedtime?
What is usual?

85. What was the last book you read?
A feast for crows: Gearge Martin

86. Do you read the newspaper?
At work, otherwise I get news from TV or online. I like trees.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
The Ikea annual catalog

88.Where is #88?
Right here.

89. Do you watch soap operas?
no

90. Do you dance in the car?
Everwhere.

91. What radio station did you last listen to?
The community radio station on the net, but I can't remember the call letters

92. Who's in the picture frame closest to you?
Framed, my grandkids, unframed Einstein.

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
There once was a lonely olf witch
Whose fingers had a terrible itch
She soaked and bemoaned them
Honed and beboned them
and now she's a witch of a bitch.(I know, still inprogress)

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Gardenia

95. What is your favorite board game?
Come on, only one - how about a theme: wordgames

96.Where is #96?
She left when agent 99 did

97. When was the last time you attended church?
About 6 weeks ago, before I had the knee fixed.

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Mr. Brown - the best "think out of the box" art teacher

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
About 10 days - much fun.

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
Renee who brought me this beeYOOtiful scarf and let me beat her at scrabble.