hahah!

took 4 days of the caloric countdown, drank my face off for the bday, even had a piece of cake. Got on the scale today - 3 pounds less than last Friday - let the hoopla begin. Running total now 34 pounds since mid August.

I still haven't heard from my travel agent about the jamaica me crazy problem yet ... heavy sigh.

in. techno.hell

and by my own volition no less, 1 flattened reinstalled updated loaded laptop down.
\now to do the new one - and then the netbook.

o happy day ... oh happy dayyyy

I had a little visit with my nemesis Mr. Scale today.
Last week he told me that I weighed exactly the same as I had the week before @ 1500 calories a day - that totally ramped me right up. I hadn't realized that the curse would be showing up 4 days later. Aha - retainage of fluid.
On Monday I was the same weight as the previous Monday that's 3 mondays in a row - WTF!!!
So today, 12 days later I finally see a real result.

I have lost 8 pounds since Oct 5th (18 days) YEE FREAKIN" HAH!!!!!So that's about 3 1/2 pounds a week and a total of 31 pounds since mid August.

I have 85 days to go on my count down at this rate I might even lose another 40 pounds by the time I leave for Jamaica. Maybe I'll be able to stop going on and on and on about hard it is. Maybe not.

That would be soooo fiiine.

I am taking My birthday off and eating and drinking whatever I want because I have survived 48 years, 2 children, 2 grandchildren, 2 divorces, 2 sisters and their crews, 2 stepsiblings and their crews, too many funerals and a couple of dozen adopted homely crew and miscellaneous dysfunctional framily members (just like me).

Today - LIFE IS GRAND!

open to disaster

I ate 5 - yes 5 yummy sugary apple strudel pastries (almost wrote pasties) yesterday.

I went to Safeway, bought yogurt, milk, reduced sugar oatmel, walked right past the baked goods, and bought a roasted chicken for supper. GOOD GOOD GOOD.

And by 6:30 pm I was in my car on my way back to Safeway drooling in anticipation.

Calories up, blood sugar up, blood pressure down, cravings gone

Lose - Win?

Note : even with the freaking strudels I still ate 800 calories less than I need to maintain my body weight.

my mortar is crumbling ...

I built a 20 foot wall all around me 10 feet thick with He best redfired brick and mortar that i could to keep myself away from the dreaded caloric bliss. in the middle of my fifth week I find that there are crumbling edges and little teeny tiny tastebud holes driven through the mortar. The brick withstands all - solid and real -it is my need to be healthy, my desire for knees that don't ache, and back that no longer throbs from the frontage mass.

But the mortar is weak, a conglomerate of struggling willpower, wanting to want to be healthy enough to give up all those delicacies that I enjoy, that lovely pair of size 18 jeans with the rhinestones on the back pockets and an underwire uplift rack for the girls.

The poutine is calling.

I had gravy and smashed tatoes on thanksgiving and left overs the next day. But even the 2nd day I stayed within my limits. I've cut of the liquid grain intake and unfortunately a fair chunk of my social life in the process because I never was good at moderation. I can do it, but I'm starting to not want to and temptation is so much more tempting at this point.

Today I had a hot turkey sandwich on brown (yech) with just a soupcon of gravy and one small ice cream scoop of smashed tatoes - maybe 450 calories - well within limits - but I wanted MORE!!! so I had salad.

I think the worst part about this is that I'm a rather all or nothing kind of girl - very zen. And I'm starting to resent my own goals that I set myself - which makes me WEAK. and then I get angry at myself and don't those chocolate chip cookies look so very tasssty. Where did those stupid raisins go....

new toys new toys new toys

life is good.
Canon is wonderful
and I now have enough back up volume.

it's friday

and I'm on a DO. Think I'll mosey on down to futureshop and get a quote for the new toys. Buying a smaller camera for my trip and a netbook - and we'll see what else ;)

The knees seem to be getting slooowly better but that is most likely with every pound I drop - though it's only been 8 or 9 pounds in almost 4 weeks. I am already impatient - it should be more...

Anyway, think I'm going to have to cancel the twinrex vaccination today - I'm a little sniffly and with the amount of sickness going around at the office I don't think I'll push that particular envelope especially since I have no sick days left until the end of December.

I am already starting to put things in my shiny new suitcases. Which reminds me, I need to find new watershoes. Oh yes, and a - get this - 2 piece bathing suit. OMG! for tanning only ;)

Hmmmm, maybe I'll go for a tan too, a delusional 10 minutes in the sun.

It's a lazy weekend, which after the last one is a very good thing.

the laundry's done, the laundry's done....

well almost.

5 loads on Monday - thanks to Devi the 9 yr old granddaughter making it go faster. I don't actually mind doing laundry but my knees are pretty pissed at the number of stairs required to get it done. So I sloughed last weeks and had 2 weeks worh to do.

Still have a load of blankets and towels - but that'll get done tonight.

It is supposed to be back in the double digits again this weekend YAY!

Me, the hallowe'en is my favorite holiday EVER - has no idea what she will be and there's only 2weeks and 3 days to go.

the 1st hump day of October...

First real snow of the season - right on time - a few weeks before my birthday but after I winterized dakar. Hmmm, I guess I should be gettin' on the replace the front tires bandwagon shortly.

My laundry still isn't done.

My knees hurt more in the last two weeks than they have all freaking year, maybe it's the weather change, or the new shoes. I've lost weight so it's not that - or at least not more than before.

Stupid fkn doctor. The script is supposed to be 2 tabs a day for month, 6 refills. What does she write you ask? 6 tabs, 6 refills. So now I have to go and waste another 2 hours of my precious time with all the sick people at the doctor's office to get a new script written AND pay ANOTHER dispensing fee - when it is HER fault.

I know - I've called the pharmacy who said to call the doctor and I've called the clinic who tried to tell me to call the pharmacy ... not having that ... I've left a message for the doctor, I spoke with the NURSE and the receptionist yesterday to get it fixed and have them fax a new script. Did they? Of course not, why would they do that. Glad my life didn't depend on it. INCOMPETENCE - bah!

On my way home from the bookstore today I did not stop at any of the 10 fast food/sugar shacks. I almost did but I managed to resist. Note to self, take Broad St not Albert when going North.

Dear weatherman:

You are already hiding the sun early and letting it out to play later, so do you think you could let up on the cold water for a bit? This is the flatlands not the freakin' coast.

103 days ....

grumpy

Am I not dilapidated enough that the powers that be see fit to have me wake up with a monster headache - stuffed right up -sore throat etc, when I only have 1 sick day left for the rest of the year?

whine whine bitch ......

113 days

First let me thank all the 100 little gods for the beautiful 29 & 30 degree weather this week - most excellente`!

Second congrats to Dad & Viv who are now officially retired after 30 years together. You should see Viv's new wheels - a big red Jeep, and dad likes it too.

And my son has a new girlfriend, first in a long time, and she was already one of my friends - so we are all happy;) She's lovely inside and out and does dishes when he cooks. Everybody wins. Oh yeah AND yesterday when they popped by to see me at work she brought me a bottle of my favorite Hempz moisturizer. MMMMMMM I smell goodly.

I got to celebrate Guinness' 250th birthday with some of my favorite ladies - the others were elsewhere and I missed them, and my biggest younger brother Kory. Along with a whole other crowd of friends. I'm cross contaminating circles of friends these days and so far it's working out.

Knock wood, I have finally caught up at work and the busiest season craziness has died down a tad. (see me doing the little happy dance) and I am back to thoroughly enjoying my worklife once again. Except for the day after the fire drill - where I had to go down 12 flights of stairs at double my normal pace - so today my knee and my ankle are just a tad pissed off.

I had a meeting with my nemesis yesterday as well and lo and freakin' behold I have now lost 26 pounds in 7 weeks. I'm bitter and angry and whining about wanting at food but I put myself in this place so I can just suck it up and get myself the hell out.

To those of you to whom I have been growly and irascible, my most sincere and humble apologies.

And lastly - only 113 days and it's off to the island bra. Starting on the beachwear this weekend.

Pocket Buddha is a mom

and Heiniken a happy dad. Welcome Oliver to your rather extended framily. We are over joyed at your appearance and I am sure your mother's ankles will forgive you some day.

Congrats to everyone!

new shoes

They are Clarks > lamb/kid black mary janes with some lovely top stitching - beautiful shoes with a squooshy supportive heel and some arch support. I do however feel like I'm 3 years old every time I look down. They remind me of my shiny black going to church patents actually.

They're so comfortable but I've been switching off two pairs of Mephistos for the last year and a half and while the feet are in comfort heaven my bastardized ankle and the lately been crushed knees have the colywobbles from wearing them all day.

There is NO way I would have been able to haul my fat ass out of the pool at the end of aquacize today, but I did do 12 flights of stairs while doing laundry. It's something.

Today I smelled donuts - fresh out of the bakery honey dipped donuts every where I went. Not funny at all.

Dear dk:

how many times do I have to tell you - Don't count your chickens before they freakin' hatch. Murphy is NOT your friend.

graced - I don't know how many

1. Waking up the morning after my first aquacize class since May and finding out that my knees still feel better, the ankle will just have to put up with it.
2. My dad should be a millionaire today - for a little bit until revenue canada takes their cut.
3. It's my friend Deb's birthday today.
4. It's the ides of September and the temp is going to be 28 Celsius.
5. Payday is in 2 days and I still have money in the bank.

i will not pretend

I will not put on a smile.
I will not say I'm alright ...

Thank you Abigail

Martha Wainright B.M.F.A.

friday

hurrah

a monday on a tuesday

and back to work.

I apparently missed an EPIC party this weekends - stupid ankle.

I did purchase material for island wear this weekend - we'll see how that goes ;)

131 days left and 61 pounds to go ... that's the goal.

may the 100 little gods have mercy on me.

I feels a fratrday comin' on

the sun is glowing I'm on a day off - the barby is a happenin' at BKs place for supper and I'm a thinkin' I should grab some ice , make a quick stop at the pub, and simply enjoy a day with no other responsibilities.