the importance of deck attraction:

"You can learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." plato

and the deck provides both!

workweek

the weekend was wonderful. no time for the computer (friends and family are aghast- what's wrong with her?) danced my way through 420, went to the IMAX for the first time on Saturday with the AmandaChris crew. it was chilly and a nasty wind first thing in the morning but the shows were awesome. devi and seth and i were kept jumping in our seats as the underwater world unfolded before us. the moon jellies and the fried egg jellyfish were the best parts. and poor seth, 2 minutes before the end of the cowboy movie puked on the floor. there's a 24 hour bug going around their school, and he says the popcorn smell set him off, poor little guy. but 15 minutes later he was ready to play at the kid park they have at the science center.

then it was off to a deck for lunch with Stacey and the crew - and true to our saskatchewan natures, wind or no wind, it was bacon and eggs on the deck. gotta love the fresh air. played phone tag with deb and never did manage to catch up with her, but played canasta with Lu in the evening. Sunday was the never ending groceries and laundry. and i actually managed to finish organizing my room - sort of ... many phone calls, a few chats with neighbours on my walk, all in all a great weekend off.

Monday: what can i say - we are 3 admins down in the office and we only have 3. even the back up for the back up is MIA. so we are all chipping in and doing for ourselves, it's a learning experience that only makes us appreciate all their work even more. women wherever you are, we hope you are doing well.

so now it's tuesday, another busy one... lots to do and hopefully i can catch up to deb after work today. a most brilliant day to everyone.

deck dayz ...

birds' tones muted by the drizzle of a refreshing spring rain ... aahhhhh ... alive in every single cell, fingers tingly cat stretches, a soft sleepy smile creeping across the mirror... glorious morning.
smack!
is that me?
hey, check it out - i'm waking up smiling. and it's my day off. heh heh heh. I win!

one small change grew into a chain of them yesterday - and it apparently continues. the locks elicited more comments and compliments than expected - and it was lovely :) it's terrific to leave work knowing the desk is clean. i won $2 on my lotto ticket. the biweekly visit with the dreaded scale gave up more good news - finally reached the first loss goal I set in September - 50 pounds! (never mind how much is left, just think skinny). i actually asked the admin if it had been weighing light. hmpf. she just laughed at me. i wonder what watching the expressions of the people who come in to use the scale would be like. that would be fascinating...

anyhow, the decision was made then and there to walk by Ohees in the hopes that the deck would be ready for a visit. another stroke of brilliance if i may say. and there was still an open table. the nasty wind that had been blowing all day died off to a breeze, sunlight all toasty and the crew just starting to trickle in as if they too had heard the call of summer. fun and frivolity, good conversation, witty remarks and more silly ass grins than i've seen in many a moon. doing the happy dance without spillage, be it the guinness or whatever it is that floats your boat. old friends and new, hugs and hugs and hugs. aahhhhh ... happiness is being with my friends. corny but never truer.

coming home to a delectable little quiche my son the chef had cooked up - a perfect end for a slightly wobbly wench. little tasty bits and a a cuppa'. clean jammies, angus purring at my feet and off to dreamland...

and a brilliant morning. feels like spring cleaning, fresh starts, finishing small jobs left undone. much to do. a salute to 420 day and a scrubbing i will go.

the haircut ...

I have been dithering for several months now about cutting my hair. why am I dithering? I am not a ditherer, I am decisive and enjoy acting on my decisions and seeing the results. I used to dye my hair "pick a colour" every 3 months or so - and to perm, shave, shag, mushroom, afro, tail, mullet, curl it was a regular thing. I realized that it has been almost 20 years since I have done anything more drastic than accidentally put a one inch wide white streak into it (hair dresser's fault - knew I shouldn't trust them) 7 years ago. It's been as short as shoulder length a few times but otherwise just long and even. and boring. but it never bothered me. now it does. it's getting curlier and keep getting these nasty little knots in the back hairline under the fall of hair and it catches and wraps itself up in whatever jewellery I'm wearing (I Love shiny stuff), it gets caught on my cigarette, in my mouth/eyes, in car windows, on shrubbery branches, and by the hands of smallish children.

don't take this wrong, I'm not actually complaining just listing for myself the various reasons why I might have wanted to cut it. I have really heavy thick hair, that achieved natural curliness in my mid 30s (before that it was straight then a little wavy) my girlfriends are of 2 schools: once you are 40 you should have short hair because it suits an older woman (WHAT!!! kind of traditionalist crap is that?) and the other which is: long hair is beautiful at any age, and after all the work to get it grown out and all the same length why would you throw all that effort away? (who's throwing it away. my hair grows pretty quickly. it's just a change ...) so everyone's opinions didn't really help me make my decision.

I loved my long hair, so Tuesday on my way home from work I went to Snax and Greg cut it.

Wow - is it short . . . and curly. the wind on my neck gives me actual goosebumps and shivers.

and I adore it. I just visualized all the old crap I've been carrying around as the swaths of hair that were drifting towards the floor. when I walk it moves with ME, not with the WIND. it's light, it's fun, it makes me feel like an 8 year old. it was a need fed that I didn't know I had. let it go let it go let it go.

so now I have SASSY hair. who hoo!

(and it doesn't hurt that everyone who's seen it likes it, and in some cases raved about it! stroke that ego, it's been lonely)

2 days later - still lovin' it - easy to style - fast to dry ( had to buy a hairblower with a diffuser though - but my Shopper's Optimum points paid for that!) and I have had some time to think about it. then it hit me ...

so the latest and greatest in empowering practices to hit the mobsteria is "the secret". in shortest terms - "be careful what you ask for". the philosophy is based on the Law of Attraction. What you do, think, say and believe have consequences and those consequences will have the same nature as the original act, thought, word and belief.

it's about positivity. if you think of everything in negative terms, you are drawing negativity to you, and vice versa. so here I was hanging onto something that was doing nothing for me but weighing me down - in SO many ways more than just the hair. In shedding the top weight I invite the bottom weight to go elsewhere too. I also shed remnants of old relationships where they wanted me to keep my hair long and the deep rooted (haha) memories of years of living in a manner that I detested. I opened a new door to freshness and light and invited it into the rest of my existence.

breaking news . . .

this just in - the deck has been sighted - actually IN the street.

coming soon: Ohee's seasonal expansion. Where peers and patrons perch their patooties on the picnic tables, palaver with pals and peruse the park while placating their general parchedness.

the bobcat is parked, the iron railings are up, and the lamps are in place ... waiting impatiently for the tables.

hmmmm ...

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?

hmmmm?

how do you tell when a pen runs out of invisible ink?

proof ...

a friend of mine sent this me today and though I love men, I had to share this with the girls :)

shame on me ...

so now I am going to sound like an out of touch disgruntled old-fashioned crank that I used to mimic when I was a teenager. no problem. but it is very important to me that I get this said.

I know a lot of young people - for this particular discussion, let's say under 20. Some I am quite close to and the rest are casual acquaintances. I do my best to be non-judgemental however I have apparently come to the bitter end of that very long rope.

I know teenagers are driven to express their angst. What they wear, do to their hair, tattooed and pierced everywhere ... that is their way of expressing individualism (albeit they do it as a group) and enjoy giving a generalized finger "to the man". I understand. I did similar things pre-16 and still do them occasionally to this day. I was a nasty piece of work when I was a teenager.

Cursing is one thing but their language is utterly atrocious! Every 3rd or 4th word is an expletive - it's like their brain is stuttering ( hmmm - maybe it actually is). Oh yeah, I understand the rap and hip hop lyrical influences and all the rest of the "Peer Pressure" issues they struggle with. I call BULLSHIT. The best example I can up with for the complete overuse of curse words is a particular song my daughter played for me this past weekend, it consists primarily of 2 words "shit" & "fuck" randomly intertwined about a steady bass beat. Talk about beating any meaning out of the words. This is part of the problem. Cursing is so prevalent that teenagers mindlessly follow along like lemmings to the point where the curse actually loses it's power and becomes simply another interjection in a sentence. And they kiss their mothers with those mouths (see the old lady creeping in). Do they actually believe that trash talking is cool? Constant use of foul language is the sign of a weak vocabulary, perhaps we need to provide some remedial language classes. Outrageous behaviour, pushing boundaries, having fun being immortal - all of these I can accept (I did say accept - not approve of - but they are not seeking my approval).

But where is their dignity, their self awareness, their idea of self worth? What happened to their sense of personal shame? When did these virtues become extinct? A stroll through the Park and down Scarth Street to the mall supplies at least a dozen examples of what is irritating me. I don't have a problem with street performers bussing for $$, I respect the effort they are making and generally appreciate the music or entertainment they provide, but I am completely fed up with kids panhandling for coffee change. It's as if begging has become a respectable tradition with this generation. Where is their self respect? And I know some of these kids. They come from average or middle class homes, they aren't really lacking in material goods, and if they wanted to they could be holding down a part time job for extra cash. It is simply ok for them. They can't all be doing it on a dare.

If these kids need a cigarette so bad that they feel completely at ease begging for smokes or BLECH!!!! picking butts out of bins and off the sidewalk (SO gross) I have to wonder when their sense of personal shame evaporated - or maybe they never acquired one, or one that is recognizable to me. Either way it is deplorable. It drives me crazy (short drive I know). And yet I find myself apologizing and making excuses for myself - to them when I turn them down ... "I'm sorry, I can't ... yada yada" and then I get angry at myself for needlessly apologizing. I have been working for the majority of 33 years, I should be allowed to keep what's left over after the taxman without having to justify myself to a bunch a whiny little brats too lazy to support their own habits.

Note: this is not directed at those who are panhandling for bus fare - that was discussed previously, and when it comes to someone who truly looks down on their luck, I quite often buy them the cup of coffee or a quick bite that they are looking for.

SO ... having realized my frustration I needed an action plan. Here's the plan: When a youngster asks me for money, I say "No, I think I'll keep what I have earned", and when I am asked for an extra cigarette, my response will be "There is no such thing as an extra cigarette." Confrontational? You bet. Someone (inferring myself and other willing victims I mean candidates) needs to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. If they start to bitch me out, I will emphatically explain in more detail.

good thursday tired monday

whew! i am just freakin exhausted and rambling and just a tad testy. for the first time at my job i woke up and DID NOT want to go to work. work sucks. it requires me to leave the warmth and comfort of my bednest. it pushes me to washmyhairbrushmyteethfindsocksthatmatch, feedthecat, findmyIDanddglassesandpacklunch, eat some yogurt and roll.

into cold below zero, grey haze windy as winnipeg, dust swirling gritty funnels that fling their remains at you just when you finally open your eyes to a despondent morning. strangers being all happy as you trudge toward your destination muttering all the way (more like muted whining actually).

what is the matter with me? i am just coming off four days off work.

thurs & fri were good - chilled out, did a bunch of work on the pc, listened to my tunes LOUD, visited with friends, did a little shopping at Walmart - NEVER GO ON A STAT, and had a Big Mac. even got ready to go down to the pub friday nite, used the curling iron .... and by the time I was finished flicking the last tendril into place i didn't feel like going anywhere. so I watched surfer movies with the blessing of the green.

Sat - groceries ... UGH! why doesn't the sore have what I want? why can't someone figure out how to make honey dipped lemon busters that aren't full of sugar? why do old people run over your feet with their carts and NOT BOTHER TO APOLOGIZE! and why won't the mother of that child stop it from running amok, up and down the aisles, knocking stuff of shelves ... my god $411 on groceries !!! so much for the pub. push em around the store, load em into the car, unload em onto the steps - thank the hundred little gods the boy showed up and hauled most of them up the stairs or i would have been there till tuesday. then put them away while simultaneously cleaning off counters, kicking angus out of the way and cleaning out the fridge, emptying the garbage and deciding on what i will be having for supper.

the bbq is out of propane. %^$#!#%^$#@!!@$%%$#!~!#@#$ bran muffin

pack up pillows and jammies and the camera/acc and the defrosted humongous turkey, and all of the stuff for the grands and then wait outside on the cold windy deck for 45 minutes in the cold because my ride is never late until today.

gets loads of hugs and kisses from the kidlets and feel better. do more stuff. won at scrabble. coloured eggs and made beaded jewellery for everyone. spend 2-3 hours in bunny preparations.

7 am sharp the little fiends were waking me up telling me what the Easter bunny brought them.. oh oh ... they found it already and the parents aren't up yet. all their hard work brought to naught. not happy campers. watch the kids stuff themselves with sugar, the wind up has begun and then it's scooter time. under 15 minutes, still wobbling as they go with a 2 foot pixie stick in one hand and they were starting the "tricks" they'd seen on TV.

supper was delicious.

popped over to Lu's, and installed a couple of programs for her and showed her how to use torrents, coffee and I actually won the first game of canasta in a week, and i only had one load of laundry. home around 10pm. finished turkey and barley soup and spent until after 2am trying to get to sleep.

which is why at 6am, I hit the snooze for an extra hour and STILL had to drag my ass out of bed.

it's been a good day though :)

memeplex

a la schmutzie - first I had to go and find out what a "meme" was. off to Wikipedia: refers to a "unit of cultural information" which can propagate from one mind to another in a manner analogous to genes

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: yelloworangered
Favorite Food: Roast beastie - bison, beef, bambi, pork, lamb, sheep, goat .... it's all gooood
Favorite Month: Julygust
Favorite Song: toss up: Ride On-ACDC, 59th Street Bridge Song - Simon & Garfunkel
Favorite Movie: Michael (J Travolta)
Favorite Sport: "I'm not touching you"
Favorite Season: summer
Favorite Day of the week: Sunday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Hagen Das Double Chocolate (but prefer orange or lemon sherbet)
Favorite Time of Day: guinness time.

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: content.
Current Taste: expensive
Current Clothes: jeans, green buttoned sweater, black leather walking shoes, candy glasses
Current Desktop: this crazy wonderful buddhaface in all my fave colours (at home too)
Current Toenail Color: Unvarnished and newly trimmed.
Current Time: 4pm.
Current Surroundings: work, beige walls superimposed with a motley collection of handmade artwork from the grands et al, pictures of those I love, BIG calendar, reference books, files and a lovely handmade beaded and rolled east indian wall hanging - oh yeah, my mini disco ball.
Current Thoughts: hairbands, haircut, long, short, streak, write, type, lists, work

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: My cousin Brucie. We lived in the same house. Cora Lynne Olsen K-G3
First Kiss: mom - the other kind - Tommy and Mike Douglas the twins in kindergarten
First Screen Name: wench
First Pet: a turtle, a rabbit and a sway backed old shetland pony
First Piercing: ears, then 8 more - also in the ears
First Crush: Steve Gosselin in Grade 4.
First CD: hahahahahahaha how about first vinyl? 3 Dog Night (Gr6) then my grandma millie bought me Alice Cooper Billion $ Babies for Christmas.

7Lasts
Last Cigarette: This morning walking to work.
Last Drink: Firday with Deb and the dudes at the pub.
Last Car Ride: Yesterday, Luanne and I drove out to Sherwood Forest
Last Kiss: Saturday when I got kisses from the grands at the park.
Last Movie Seen: "88seconds" - pacino - gotta love him
Last Phone Call: to my admin asst for some info
Last CD Played: personal compilation of paul simon, S&G, beatles, blues & cat stevens

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: twice, and we are still great friends
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes, details have been suppressed to protect the innocent.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: yes, I was framed .... hahahahahaha
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: sure, but wouldn't "Have you ever dipped skinny?" be funnier
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes a few times.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: of course! great introduction :)

5 THINGS
Thing You’re Wearing: shoes, socks, undies, pants, sweater, bra, a toe ring, and 10 earrings, wristwatch, bracelet, scarf.
Things You’ve Done Today: shower/hair, breakfast, fed angus, answered email, walked to work, worked, had a coffee, woke up son by phone, worked, had lunch, walked around Cornwall Center for exercise, work ... blog on break.
Things You Can Hear Right Now: 4 people on the phone 3 people typing, two telephones and a very loud LED desk fan.
Thing You Can’t Live Without: air
Thing You Do When You’re Bored: find amusement

4 PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TODAY
home, work, mr. sub, the bank.

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
buddha, ganesa, and angus bodhi cat

2 CHOICES
Black or White: white. the reflection of all colours. only needs 2 coats when painting over.
Hot or Cold: Hot. hot summer beaches, hot chocolate, hot turkey sandwiches, hot street-tar that is soft enough to stick your toes into, hot peppers, hot baths ...

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

live well

purity . . .

the "boy", enamoured of all electronica and things that go fast, make noise or taste good.















"the girl" - 7 year old awe ... everyday ... it's shiny.......

lamentations ...

oh woe is me - Friday was supposed to be a DO but it's a GOOD Friday, so now I have a Great Thursday as my DO and - oh goodness me - a Fine Saturday and not-so-bad-eat-turkey-bunny-day... I don't have to get up early tomorrow ... what ever shall I do .... HAHAHAHAH ... i kill me.

20 sentences

my friend abigail found this interesting idea on Saviabella's "blog, inspired ~ she wrote her own list. now it's my turn. The idea is to write twenty sentences about twenty different anonymous people. No Names. things you need to get out, good bad or indifferent. it's spring, clean house.

1. sharp tongue, sharper intellect, sharpest creativity. chase your dream. i am wherever you are.

2. grow new memories to replace those that were lost or those that you no longer want. grow the future and let go of the past before it kills you. i will always love you.

3. you loved me better than any other and you let me go, dignity intact. thank you for the gift.

4. your friendship is better than donna cake. layers of sweet and tart, with the luxury of real whipping cream. . . just exactly right.

5. you lived a heart lie so i had to leave, and a harder thing i have never done.

6. with laughter & tears, your uncompromising ethics are a path i try to follow. you deserve better. i wish i could give it to you.

7. your assumption that i was aware of all the details was the first knife thrust. your inability to get past it near killed us. thank the hundred little gods that you are growing up in the time between then and now. if we are lucky our children do that to us.

8. i love you, you have a great heart. you made mistakes and refused to learn from them because it was too hard to look yourself in the mirror. your shield against the world was brittle and instead of allowing someone else to break in, you broke out. remember that those who hurt you deepest are often the ones that love you the most. that is why it pains you so.

9. i think you are beautiful inside and out. elegance with a razor edge. if only you could see you the way i do. you lead me down strange and powerful paths littered with the detritus of the world's greatest.

10. i regret that you do not think that i was a good enough friend. i miss you. please understand that you are not the only one who gets fucked up.

11. your company is a release - infinite encouragement meets unconditional care. i am so lucky that you are my friend. thank you for all the myriad help through the years and allowing me to be exactly who i am without any kind of pretense.

12. you ground my children's hearts to dust. several lack lustre attempts to irrigate fallow fields followed. let them go unburdened

13. my hero and my nemesis. you still don't really understand me but now you are my friend.

14. why do you continue to destroy yourself piece by piece? do you realize you're killing us too? please stop.

15. every time i see you, you tell me i'm beautiful and i just do not see it. but you are.

16. few of the friends of my youth survived. every time i see you, it opens the door to so many great memories, like the sun after the rain.

17. to be included was everything i needed, thanks.

18. you've been gone so long and it seems like yesterday. the tears just don't end.

19. thank you for releasing the geek in me.

20. you are a shrivel hearted miser whose self loathing poisons everything you touch.