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GIST small successes

Monday is done and over and my desk is still clear - only two pieces I am currently working on, YAY! I also managed to get a good start on the next volume of the quarterly newsletter - which puts me a bit ahead. I may have found a solution to the fiscal security I need - waiting till the end of the week for that. I am done my laundry. My eyes aren't quite as swollen from the snow mold today either. Saw a few friends, talked to my friend Keppel in Ottawa and spent an hour and hald on the phone with sugar. Now for a soak and the day is replete.

and stranger

Panic attacks directly from sleep twice last night - no details just dark blurry and an overwhelming sense of being trapped in a situation on personal physical danger and being unable to defend myself. WTF? Tries all the old fashioned homely somnolents - not happening. I am almost afraid to go back to sleep.

No strange foods, nothing untoward ingested, quiet weekend just trying to get the allergies under control. Reading, movies, sewing - nothing is abating the sense of utter dread.

shit.

strange dreamin'

I have been having strange and stranger nightly subconcious visitations, and they aren't all pretty or even recognizable as signposts about things I need to change, or reminders that I NEED to change something else, or a poke just to tell me to pay attention.

This last one though - waay out there.

Terror - darkness - searing pain - scarlett - glowing more fear - amorphous where my dreams are usually crystal clear HD technicolour. Pain in my legs - couldn't walk - doctors couldn't find the problem (note I have had lots of issues with my stupid knees in the last couple of years so this is an obvious fear of loss of mobility which I have when I am awake occasionally but not this deepseated terror that wakes me up breathing heavy in a panic.)

Needles - big darning needles - scarlett pain - hot - needles sticking out of my skin around my knees like someone had jabbed them all the way in and they are only now working themselves out ... and then more of them surfacing through the fleshy part of my leg right above my knee in I Ching patterns with pieces of flesh to denote the break in the I Ching line, but there were only 5 of them not the six I would need to determine the message ... and it hurt - ye gods it hurt!

and then I woke up.

wtf?

green breeze

Submerged anger and resentment rise with the warmth like the ammonia from Wascana, bringing tears and clutching throats. As the whirlwind death of winter loses velocity, people pushed to the edge by the long cold are fragile and cracking like ice on the lake. The green breeze clears minds, soothes souls, and invites us all to breathe before we accuse.

All the little pettynesses that have piled up since the snow locked us in, the misunderstandings, the apologies not truly accepted, and the angst never voiced can be assisted in their release by a walk in the park.

Make sure to look in the mirror before you go for your walk.

green day

happy St Paddy's to everyone who's ever had a little Irish in 'em and for everyone else who wishes they had ;)

While it is not the OFFICIAL 1st day of spring, It is the 1st day after the dreaded extra 6 weeks of winter foretold by the stupid groundhog on February 2. And everywhere there's green - I even saw some peeking around the edge of our sidewalk yesterday.

So it's off to the pub after work to meet the mates and lift our glasses to the beginning of a bright new year and the death of winter.

chin chin

the Ides of March

and it's Monday in 2 minutes. The Ides was originally a festive day dedicated to the Roman God Mars. History writes that when Julius ignored the seer's forewarning he was back-stabbed by his buddy Brutus. Isn't it amazing how something good can be completely reversed by politics.

So happy Ides to all. Ides in the Roman calendar were the 15th day of March, May, July and October and often fell around full moons.

A busy week with the Ides, St Paddy's day, and my son's 27th bday - so I'm taking him to Hawksley Workman at Darke Hall. I love Hawksley (thank you abigail) and I'm hoping Mur will find his music as interesting as I do.

wednesday blues

What a long week. the queen concert was a blast with malibu yesterday and we got to visit with niall, who made a good attempt at concocting some rum cream for me. Nice to catch up.

Work's a killer this week though. It feels like my brain is on strike and refuses to put two coherent thoughts in a row - which makes letter writing a wee bit of a challenge.

Two more days - I can DOOO ITTTTT.

lazy sunday

After blowing all my plans for a Saturday evening out for a birthday party, a trip to McNally's with KD and the crew, and some late night karaoke, by laying down for a one hour nap - and being totally oblivious to the alarm clock OR the phone, I managed to sleep from 6 pm to 7 am this morning and then promptly when back to bed until 10am. It doesn't catch me up for the sleep I missed the rest of the week but it certainly FEELS BETTER. Now I'll have to catch up to the bday girls to deliver belated gifts.

However, I did wake up to well timed phone call and got a leavening of sugar to begin my day, always good. I made a list of all the things that I need to get done, and accomplishes exactly one of them;)

The laundry while sorted has not levitated itself to the basement, the kitchen floor is still wailing for the damp mop, and the plants would be sobbing for hydration if any were to be found. My T4 remains on the missing list as my tax software glares accusingly from the top shelf, the front door still squeals its animosity awaiting some WD40, and the dust-bunnies are seriously amused at my sloth.

Hmmmm, I find myself deaf to their pleading and whining for me to be productive. Blue mountain coffee for breakfast and a couple of cigarettes, a little reading, catching up on the email, worked through some more pictures, put the roast in the oven, wasted several hours away on crackbook, and am now enjoying some 12 year old Appleton Rum straight from Jamaica. Miss the island mon.

So I'll finish cooking dindin, I MIGHT get the laundry in if there is ever an open space and then I believe I'll kick back and watch the Oscars in my jammies. It's the first 5 day week since christmas next week and It'sa gonna be a looong one.

Friday and GIST

1. more FRIENDS than I can count on my fingers and toes and your fingers and toes.
2. dakar
3. a little sugar now and again
4. earned days off
5. anticipation

MWAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Monday is over.