5 on the 27th #4 ~ just a tad late

beautiful eyes and a great smile ~ tall, old enough to pull at the LB. a captain no less, and a car. strong and gentle and good - great family reputation and a steady part time job - my parents loved that i was going out with you (they swallowed the fact that you were 3 years older because the other options were simply not to be considered). you were dependable and romantic and a good kisser. but you were in the end, a small town boy and i was trouble on two feet. i apologize sweets, you were my boy next door and i was the delinquent braless flag you waved at your parochial parents when they pissed you off.

you were my guilty pleasure, my secret hideaway. early mornings redolent with the mouth watering aroma of fresh baking and warm sugar glaze as i took that first big chomp while the glaze was still dripping. ripping down the highway in your 65 mustang coupe - as fast as we could go and careening to a stop so that we could make love in a wheatfield (take a sturdy blanket)... the first time you let me drive the Kawy - man - that was huge!!! the original chevy van with the orange shag keyhole & the minifridge for my strawberry angel. you really should have seen the look on my mom's face when she found my riding leather - the one with all the fringes you got me - i think she would have been okay if i hadn't told her how really old you were when she guessed wrong. what a rotten child i was, but then that's why you loved me. ditto.

i never did fit into the societal structure. at 16 i needed to be needed. you needed someone. married at 16 & 18, in spite of them all, we set out to make our own little family that would just love us for who we were. though i never regret my children - man were we stupid. what did we really think we were doing? did we think? hindsight being 20/20 we might want to have waited till we grew up a little before imposing our craziness on our kids. they are turning out great though, in spite of us ... it's always circles isn't it?

heat. we danced close and closer all night, with the barbies gaping in disbelief when you ignored their attempts to snatch you away. sunglasses at night. so tuned to the vibe my knees were trembling and you asked if i had a shower at my place. i did ;)

you lifted my heart and dissappeared me down the rabbit hole. our mutual obsession for 5 years & soul love by bowie, shades by iggy and most of the pistols carried us to faraway places. mushrooms, spandex, heavy metal and an endearing curiosity. you were the penultimate peter pan and though i never realized it i was wendy and her brothers all twizzled together with a sprinkling of peter's boys just for the explosive effect. bring on the hook - he cannot prevail because we are invincible!
but we were wrong. i started to grow up and you left me for someone who would share your happy place without question. idol, medora, the trainride ~ treasured memories all. you are my heart friend and i miss you.