5 on the 27th

Susan G: you were my strange girlie friend who introduced me to free form dance and taught me that if you really wanted something, you could go out and make it happen. You were sad though and bruised and I always wondered if it was your invisible dad or your crazy Elvis obsessed brother. He sure had a whack of records.

Karen W: I loved going to your house, your mom was forever cooking and your bangs were as crooked as mine. I still have a scar on my neck where I almost strangled myself on the high school tennis net support wire. Note to self - do not play running tag in an area with grey wires at neck height at dusk.

Amy R: You had the most beautiful long curly strawberry blonde hair and you hated that your face was covered in freckles. You always smelled of lilac. You were so angry that Art got a crush on me and that I wouldn't dump Tomy for him. Tommy's dad looked like Tom Jones;)

Janelle R: You taught me how to successfully lie by avoidance. Snooper the cat had lived at my house for a year before my dad figured out she was a girl. My parents just didn't even consider that I would lie about such a thing. Hah! Snooper lived with us for 8 years until she was mauled by a loose dog. She was my best friend when I had none across 3 provinces. Thank you.

Kathleen M: Our little sisters were friends and we met during a fist fight on the school grounds coming to our sisters defense. Your house was a nest of wonderful surprises and your mom was so soft spoken. I think you were the first person I knew from a single parent home, even though no one talked about it, out loud.

dirty little secrets

Everyone has one, that nastiest of all personal bits of decrepitude. You know. Don't you? That sometimes quirky, sometimes cute, but most often disgusting personal habit. Perhaps something that ONLY YOU notice. That's right, and I'm not just speaking to the generally delusional here either.
Your studied nonchalance as you ... unobtrusively of course ... check your teeth in the mirror 230 degrees off the port bow - and then with all of the elegance of a stork in quicksand, flick it out of your teeth with a nailtip to sail all unknowing into someone's hair. Oblivious you are.
Quietly curled over your prei dieux, hands clasped in prayer as you nibble away the tiny uneven bits remaining after the nail has been masticated, while others hail your piety. Only you know.
Heart attack in progress jolting awake thumb surreptitiously dragged across the coverlet as you reach for the lamp. Internal voices singing the litany,"Did anyone see me? Is there drool on my face, on the pillow...?"
Wading through 5 o'clock traffic, peaceful isolation of your car. Dry air, cold, humidity, heat all common excuses for that insolent itch. "I'm alone, no one can see me" ... more a pick than a flick. Neither a kleenex nor a take-away napkin to be found.
Always hungry constant search for sustenance, protein, haaccchhhh! Don't you just love hairballs?
Please keep the toe & finger nails off the floor, out of the ashtray and out of the crack in your ass.
Toe jam is gross - wherever it is.

However, yours eyes are not disappearing into the baked wastelands of sunworn valleys, those are beauty marks not age spots, and all feet are not ugly to everyone.

Hmmm - not really sure where that came from, it must be Thursday.

new toys

My how time flies when you're banging your head on the desk/floor/wall. But it feels so good when you stop ;) It took me a couple of days but I did manage, without any extraneous assistance to hook up all the electronics including the surround sound and get it all to work. Yay ME! Bigger Yay for the tuneage. Now I can watch TV and crackbook on the commercials from the comfort of my sofa.

That would be next on the list. Now I need to build a 10" base to raise the seating some and then recover the couch and maybe add some stuffing to the cushiony bits. And Abigail is going to give me whatever leftover Tangerine crush she has left so there might just be enough to cover my tub chair in the office... where is that staplegun?

The knee is great. The plague has mostly passed, just a remnant of the hacking cough. Electrolysis has already sent half the black stubblies to whisker heaven, though the white ones are the most determined to keep living. Call me Santa! I have delivered on the birthday promises and thanks to my daughter - who called and told me Lenny Kravitz is coming to the Brandt center October 30 (3 days after my bday) - I HAVE FLOOR TICKETS!!!! so I think me and the dotter will be rockin out for my 47th bday. It will be a blast.
I checked the Calendar and the 30th is a Thursday payday with the 31st - best holiday of the year on a DO Friday. WHO HOO.
Life gets better.

aptronym ...

I've heard of synonyms, homonyms, seudonymns and antonyms, but never an aptronym.

An aptronym is a name "aptly" suited to it's owner. For example, Lord Brain who was a neurosurgeon. Slim Pickins who was both slim and a tremendous "picker". Fictitious names like "Mr. Worldly" or "Mr. Talkative".

Perhaps in the spirit of aptronymory I should change my last name to "Rambler". Mind you my real last names "from the North" which is apt all on its own.

I got new toys from FShop yesterday - let the geekdom reign!

Powered By Limousines For Rent



MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! go classics! thanks to Abigail and Neil

another bumpy hump day

Alrighty then, so it might have been a cold, a flue, the plague or I may have poisoned myself (doc thinks allergy related). No way to tell until I'm better and then I can try my herbal goodness once again (when I have a 3 day weekend to blow - just in case). If I get the same reaction after the 1st day, I'll have to give it up.... and it looked so goood to me.

I'm still choked up occasionally, but I think I'm past the drag the dingo through dirt exhausted portion.

I really need to clean my room.

I want things to be better for my kids and my friends who are sick and/or descrepit.

COME BACK SUNSHINE!!!!!

aaahhhhh. ok, better now

whiny day

I missed 2 days at work, on my FIRST fulltime week back after surgery.
I don't get to see the grands because I might be catching.
I missed going to a show with the girls Wed. nite
I missed dinner out last nite.
I will be missing Nick's bday party tonight at this rate.
I might even have to miss church tomorrow (the choir does not appreciate being continually interupted and it's nigh impossible to be singin')

It began when it started to rain Wed nite. Sinus release until thurs am with HUGE freaking headache. And the coughing ... by the hundred little gods ... till I vomit! Worst when I first get up. No particular chest congestion that I can tell. Allergy medication does nothing, nor does ventilin or the crap the doc gave me to replace the prednezone when I had pneumonia. Hot liquids seem to ease it for a bit, but not for long. Cough medicines do nothing - yet there it still is the tickle in the back of the throat and a dry cough kind of like when I walk by the dry cleaners (huge allergy to their chemicals). constantly. aarrrggghhhhhhhh!

At least today I don't feel quite so exhausted.

I am SO fucking tired of being sick, I eat healthy, I've been exercizing more, I take my vitamins, I avoid sick people when at all possible ... WTF!!!!

rant yell kick scream cough pound head on wall cough cry wail bemoan cough snivel vent whine cough ....

hack hack ...

choke spit ... #@$!%& allergies. (i think)

still good ;)

change is eternal ...

good news day ...

I am starting to feel not so icky, and I am quite thankful that I did not not get really ill - which I will attribute to my faithfully getting a flu shot for the last 4 years. Most of the people that I know that got caught in the last round of the plague were very sick for a minimum of 4 days. Really sick. Me, I was not very hungry, tired and low grade fever. I have been feeling fairly well since round lunchtime. YAHOO!!!!
And ...
This is close to the end of the 2nd full day back to work and ahhhhhhhh, I am so grateful to be one of those who truly enjoys their job.
And ...
Both my mortgage insurance and my banker came through with payments today - less than a week check it out! Not a lot, but now I don't feel like I'm paying that insurance for nothing and I know that should I need it, it is not to difficult to set in motion(very important).
And ... my health insurance called to tell me that they have now received everything they need and hopefully I will be getting the $$ for physio and prescriptions back by the weekend (not holding my breath).

Now if I can just get the $$ for the doctor's forms, which I've been told will take at least a few more weeks (4 already), I will have dealt with all the odds and sods left over from the knee surgery. The knee is great by the way and now I completely understand "gellin"... love those insoles.

So it's off to met Debs at the pub for a pint to celebrate such a wonderful day, and most likely see several more of my friends while we're there. Life is goody good good.

the sunday serenade

A frenetic and freeloading fraturday followed by a down to home weekend with visits from the girls and the grands. Confirmations on plans for Pavlo next weekend, so looking forward to it (flamenco guitar and cock6tails with the ladies).

Lots of walking completed, over 2.5 Km Thursday when I accidentally reset the counter. Did about 16 blocks on Friday. Saturday was about 26 AND several flights of slow stairs. Sunday I just toured the block a couple of times, though I had been keeping up with Devi for a while by then. I know it doesn't sound like much but after a few weeks of 0 Km ...

Devi woke up this morning not feeling well, a little pukey and develpoed a low fever before her parents picked her up. By about 2 I started to feel a tad peaked so I went and laid down for a "nap". I woke at 6:30 to the phone, which promptly hung up once I reached it. A little chicken soup, a hot shower, finish the mail and it's back to bed for me. I would way rather avoid this crap if I can.


Talk to ya'll in a few days.

sound pollution

Another shot poured and sunk, another step closer to unconsciousness. Seeking the numb quiet of silence. Peace. Every minute deflecting random attacks at linear time, clocks ticking away hour-long seconds. Scenes shifting midthought, playing destructo with logic patterns. Raging arguements trapped in the skull ... all yours. Filterless and staggering under the onslaught of everyday volumes, a constant distraction. That nasty hum from the flourescents, the ping of a dozen computers, 3 different tunes and several conversations all bounced into your dull beige cubicle brain.

Where was I?

No wonder I talk to my plants.

perceptions

Heel scritches the curbway.
Vertiginous jolt and stumble, barely recovered.
Head snaps, hair swings and vertabrae crackle.
Did anyone see me?

"We did."
Park kids poking sticks.
Woman caged by her body's obsolescence.
Afraid that response evokes pack instinct.
Survey the threat and head drops, slump-shouldered in utter defeat.
She shuffles away.

A corner turned, harsh laugh barks through silent tears.
Head up, subservience sloughed as water on steel.
Photographic memory is a wondferful thing she tells the constable.

april the deuce

I am finally getting back to some sort of "normal" schedule. Well I still don't sleep a hell of a lot, but I'm fairly sure that I have already made up for that over the last few months. I have managed to catch up with a lot of my friends the past week and even though you know you missed them, you don't really Know you MISSED them till you see them again. It make sme happy.

It is weird to only be working afternoons, but I will be back to the regular hours come Monday and that will be even better. It is way easier to eat breakfast when I get up early for work and then I'm actually hungry at lunch-time, not 2 in the pm and 10 o'clock at night.

off to bed to stare at the ceiling, have a great hump day!

(fraturday is the day after)

April fool's

I decided not to torment anyone this morning;)

5 on the 27th : girlfriends

We used to be such great friends until you hermitized yourself away. I'm sorry I could not be everything you needed me to be. I've tried to call but you changed your cell number and have no landline. I cannot find your address to write you a letter. I miss you.

You make me want to smile and dance every time I see you. You have this open handed generosity that supercedes that of everyone I have ever known. Your ups and downs and continual questioning let me know that it's okay to be confused sometimes. You throw a great freaking party! Just remember that you do need to take time for yourself once in a while. smooches.

Your smile can brighten up the whole place when you let it out. Your sense of the absurd is delicious and makes me laugh. You remind me of myself 15 years ago. Don't work too hard, money is great but we do have to have a few limits. Did you know that you have this precious little gurgle in your laugh that triggers laughter in others? Thanks.

Your adaptability and inner strength are amazing, yet you perceive yourself as weak? Love is a wonderful and betimes nasty hook into other peoples lives and none of us can be everything to everyone. You wit matches your intelligence and your writing is amazing. Watching you get trampled by uncaring bastards drives me crazy but you manage to keep poking your head up through the grunge and carry on. Intestinal Fortitude you have in spades my fried. You make me appreciate life more.

Well Miss Sunshine you are quite simply a "lovely gel". Your sense of honour appeals to me. Your love of music and need to belong to a community is a wonderful thing. You are such a GREAT mom, never doubt it. Whenever I see you the intervening time just swooshes away and my day is always brighter for your appearance. Woot!

la la la loverly ...

the sun wa sshining, the wind below a gale ... my knee didn't give out on the way to work. There were only 2 letters waiting for me and a bunch of people who took the time to come and say hi, and that they were glad I was back. Apparently it has ben vewy vewy qwiet. I felt so good after getting through the 475 emails in my mailbox that I decided to attempt to purchase a new pair of jeans ( a situation that Abigail would surely understand). I determined a budget of $150 for a pair of walking shoes suitable for work, a new top and a pair of jeans.

I came home with a pair of jeans, a smashing pair of chocolate brown velvet brushed cords, 4 tops (3 with sparklies and one beribboned & reembroidered), 2 pair of pretty panties, a pair of black walking shoes and a some vintage looking white shades, for less than $150. So I treate dmyself to lunch and a pint with the change.

happy happy dayliola ...

trepidatious ...

Why can I not find a single thing to wear on my first day back to work (BIG YAY) in 2 months? I have all the same clothes I had when I went off work. I weigh only 7 or 8 pounds lighter - which is nothing. I have included some spring themed wardrobe pieces put away for the winter of which my friends remind me, I mostly missed the worst (little yay.) I am not happy with any of my choices. This is probably fall out from too many episodes of waht not to wear. Pant or skirt, hmmm visions of razors, we'll go with pants. Jeans or dress pants, jeans are warmer and it's still a little chilly out there and it does take me a little longer to walk to work. Now... blouse, t-shirt, sweater, hoody or jacket? Too many choices and I realized through the hunt that I need A. a new bra B. a new pair of jeans and C. new walking shoes. AND a haircut. Just where did I put that money tree?

Why on Thursday last when I had figured out what I would wear, did I not realize A,B & C?

This would be one of my reasons for needing to get back to work. Staying at home you become rather insular, you lose grip with current events and get lost in the round of day to day housework and grocery lists and appointments etc. I feel like my brain has been sort of in a holding pattern at too high an altitude. But my knee feels pretty good.

So I want to go back to work, yet at the same time time I worry if I will be able to keep up. Something has snapped. It's like someone created a slow leak in the "passion for life" tank and the gasket goop I've been applying is just not cutting the mustard. I never felt a lack of confidence about my job before. The job hasn't changed. My skills may be a bit rusty but they're there. WTF?

so right now I am trepidatious.

what to do...

Spring is in the air and apparently it found the dk motivator switch OR she finally got so bored she seriously started looking for things to do. Not even reading can grab her attention for more than 20 minutes or so.
On St Paddy's day my doctorola gave me the green to go back to work next Tuesday. BIG FREAKING YAY! I'm sure that helped the getupandgogo levels.

All the plantage has been debrided of its detritus and some moved to better views.
I not only installed two shelves that I couldn't put in the bathroom (hollow 100 year old gumbo and wire grill walls)in the living room window but actually REMEMBERED there was a third and got it happening as well.
Quite smashing, they are shiny stainless steel rounded bars. As I was searching in the closet of projects that had gone to hell, I also found the lovely matching swing arm towel rack ... same wall support issue ... I was thinking laundry hanger, hanger, plant hanger that will let me hang plants in the obtuse angle in the living room without attempting to drill the cement slab ceiling that is underneath more 100 year old plaster (you can just see the disaster shaping up there can't you?).
Dusting and sweeping were commenced on Wednesday last and as I look down my hardwood hallway today I wonder why I bothered.
I have gone for a short walk every day.I can do 2 flights of stairs before the knee starts to pull from strain, I actually managed to do laundry today and that's 2 flights 6 times with an hour rest between - not so bad - but that's it for the stairs today. I certainly won't be doing the watusi any time soon.
The bathroom elbow joint is still dripping however, and I think the tub tap is on it's way there as well.
Going the the dotter's tonight to do eggs and take pictures of tomorrow's bunny madness, and turkey dinner ... mmmmm.

Hoppy Bunny Day to all.

and now it's 6:15

hmmmm - time to make coffee - tried to go to bed again, even tried reciting the multiplication x5 tables (works for a friend of mine) but no shut eye for this cat. I did however note that there are 3 drill holes from my last futile attempts at installing hooks and plant hangers that I need to fill. (never mind plaster, the beams are cement over huge wood timbers and some tough unknown shit from 1914), right under the layer of plaster. Even a cement bit wouldn't chew through it.

Then I also noticed that I had not finished the painting effect in the bedroom because I am not yet stable on a ladder. Then it was on to I should reorganize all my furniture (too heavy to do alone and will wake up the downstairs neighbours), and the various configurations possible, none of which pleased me. I know! I'll paint the other 2 walls and the ceiling ... hmmm what shade of yellow should I use now, something lighter I think (currently buddha gold)and then it was back to the ladder thing. Which of course led my brain to my terminally cabinetless kitchen and then off to dream cabinets.dk with oak and punched tin and my new sink that's been in my clost for 4 years now (at least I got the taps installed last year). And cabinets and deep pot drawers and counterspace ... just a minute ...
What is that noise? Oh yes the new drip in the tub faucet ...

You can see how useful that exercize was. Onward ho, it's Saturday.