friday the 13th doesn't count

got my interview questions sent ;)

GIST # I'm not sure

I am grateful for:
1. My ability to look myself directly in the mirror and say YECH! and still have a good day.
2. Dove's 71% cocoa chocolates with only 190 calories in 4 pieces, 19 grams of carbs in same, and the lovely little notes on theinside of the wrapper : "enjoy retail therapy", "have a spa day", don't skip breakfast", "gossip harmlessly"...
3. The completion of work I volunteered for but didn't really want to do which made my day when I was done.
4. Taking risks both emotional and financial.
5. Smoking less than 2 packs a week.

remember day

For all those past present and future in uniform to defend us, thank you.

placeholder

working on an interview and a press release - will catch up later.

Lest we forget, remember to take a minute at 11am tomorrow to thank all of those who gave their lives to make ours a better world, then go out and spend an hour making it a better world for someone else.

69 days and counting

Started the sewing - well the here's the pattern what do I need to do to it to make it what I want, why did I buy this pattern anyway, damn I hate my measurements - it can wait till December part of the sewing.

Had a great visit with Abigail and a nice chat with my dad.

I figure the piles of paper on my desk will act as great insulation for the winter.

sunday of rest

up early - why? I didn't accomplish much. Did some visiting watered the plants a very short walk at the leg watching the geese run away. Not sure about there sense of direction since I saw at least one flock fly of east, west, north, and south and even a couple sou' by souwest. The lake was dead calm - and I enjoyed the quiet to read my book.

nabloplomo

7 days complete.

I'm going outside to play with NO SOCKS - in November. YAY!!!!!

it never really goes away.

Can't you smell it? That snitch scrickle ghosting through your brain like it hadn't been fifteen plus years. Tastebuds immediately drooling with the shiny reflex. Focus shot and paranoia biding its own sweet time behind the scent.

Damn park kids.

paid the piper - back to the countdown : 73 days

booked the trip to Jamaica - extra fees and all. I think I'm excited but the joy has been tarnished by all the bullshit. It's going to cost me an extra $750 to stay as a single.

So I'm looking for the positives today:
1. I'll have 2 beds - one to jump around on and one to sleep in.
2. I will be the only one snoring ;)
3. I won't need to bring socks for the doorknob. YAY no socks!
4. If I want to chill on the balcony and greet the dawn with some ganja - no one may say me nay.
5. I won't have to share a bathroom so I can strew my stuff around all I want.
6. I won't have anyone seeing any of my unmentionables - never mind the chin hair plucking.
7. All of the beer in the fridge is for me so I can make room for fruity snacks.
8. I can listen to MY kind of music.
9. I won't have to make any cooperations, no that's not it, considerations, nope, that's not it either - AHA! compromise. I won't have to compromise with any of my personal space.
10. I can run around nekkid!

Okay I feel better - maybe not $750 bucks better, but better none the less

ola' Oliver

Who hoo - yesterday as I was leaving work - lo and behold the 100 little gods had arranged Jules and Oliver to come to me since I am not organized enough to get to them. Jules looks SO freakin' great - she's got the mommy glow! And I had to just giggle at Das Pipers efforts to figure out the dady - baby carrier. His smile starts at his belly button and grows from the inside out! Lovely! I even got a quick peek at Oliver even though he thought it was snack time ;) Babies are so beautiful. AND now I know what to look for for a gift.

and late yet again

so I still haven't heard and I'm thinkin' I probably won't.

On the other hand my daughter made me supper, the grands gave me some of their hallowe'en haul (which I promptly ate and then felt sick) and I had a nice visit with the boy.

Now figuring how to budget the extra grand for the trip. Looks doable, just feels dontable.

what to do?

... so the person sharing accommodations with me, who shall remain nameless, for my Jamaica trip in January changed their mind and decided to cancel. The decision was made a couple of weeks before I was informed - at 8:30 on a Friday evening 3 days before my birthday, via a message on FB. No face to face, not a call, not even time for an email. The travel agent would not be available until MONDAY - the day of my birthday party.

So there are several things that are twisting my knickers about this.

1. If you knew earlier, why the hell didn't you tell me? It's a $3200 trip, and a replacement would need to have the cash by Nov 9/09 as well as the last two weeks of January off, and a passport.
2. Am I not worth a phone call at least? I mean this could have a huge impact on the cost of my trip.
3. Did you even make any attempt yourself to find a replacement for the trip/accommodations or did you just decide oh well let her deal with it?
4. After 10 days of searching for someone who could go instead - by myself, other travellers and my friends and family - no luck.
5. Alternative #1 - cancel the only trip I have ever had farther south than South Dakota to a tropical paradise in the depths of my 48th Canadian winter and lose my $400 deposit - not to mention the $$ already spent on new luggage, material for beachwear, ready to wear, a new underwater capable camera and a netbook, along with my entirely broken heart and dashed dreams.
6. Alternative #2 - I got the numbers yesterday - pay an extra $900-1100 to stay at the resort as a single accommodation, which would suck up every last cent of my budgeted spending money, putting a serious crimp in the hedonistic vacay I was planning.

I can not believe how angry I am. It is not even the hot want to kick something sort of anger. The longer it takes for me to find a solution the colder and more implacable it gets, which sucks because we share a group of friends - and the canceller is supposed to be my friend, and I don't want to make this a political drama scene. AARRGGHHH!

So I sent an email yesterday laying out how the decision to cancel the trip is affecting me and asking for any suggestions. Non confrontational - non antagonistic - I even had someone else check it before I sent it. Trying for the high road. Now I guess it's wait and see - but only till Friday because I have to pay for the trip or cancel it by Saturday.

nablopomo

I started it and saved it and forgot to post it.

Sunday the 1st of November. GIST

1. dick tricks
2. scrumptious roast pork
3. new jewellry
4. great friends
5. mu & the buddha

hahah!

took 4 days of the caloric countdown, drank my face off for the bday, even had a piece of cake. Got on the scale today - 3 pounds less than last Friday - let the hoopla begin. Running total now 34 pounds since mid August.

I still haven't heard from my travel agent about the jamaica me crazy problem yet ... heavy sigh.

in. techno.hell

and by my own volition no less, 1 flattened reinstalled updated loaded laptop down.
\now to do the new one - and then the netbook.

o happy day ... oh happy dayyyy

I had a little visit with my nemesis Mr. Scale today.
Last week he told me that I weighed exactly the same as I had the week before @ 1500 calories a day - that totally ramped me right up. I hadn't realized that the curse would be showing up 4 days later. Aha - retainage of fluid.
On Monday I was the same weight as the previous Monday that's 3 mondays in a row - WTF!!!
So today, 12 days later I finally see a real result.

I have lost 8 pounds since Oct 5th (18 days) YEE FREAKIN" HAH!!!!!So that's about 3 1/2 pounds a week and a total of 31 pounds since mid August.

I have 85 days to go on my count down at this rate I might even lose another 40 pounds by the time I leave for Jamaica. Maybe I'll be able to stop going on and on and on about hard it is. Maybe not.

That would be soooo fiiine.

I am taking My birthday off and eating and drinking whatever I want because I have survived 48 years, 2 children, 2 grandchildren, 2 divorces, 2 sisters and their crews, 2 stepsiblings and their crews, too many funerals and a couple of dozen adopted homely crew and miscellaneous dysfunctional framily members (just like me).

Today - LIFE IS GRAND!

open to disaster

I ate 5 - yes 5 yummy sugary apple strudel pastries (almost wrote pasties) yesterday.

I went to Safeway, bought yogurt, milk, reduced sugar oatmel, walked right past the baked goods, and bought a roasted chicken for supper. GOOD GOOD GOOD.

And by 6:30 pm I was in my car on my way back to Safeway drooling in anticipation.

Calories up, blood sugar up, blood pressure down, cravings gone

Lose - Win?

Note : even with the freaking strudels I still ate 800 calories less than I need to maintain my body weight.

my mortar is crumbling ...

I built a 20 foot wall all around me 10 feet thick with He best redfired brick and mortar that i could to keep myself away from the dreaded caloric bliss. in the middle of my fifth week I find that there are crumbling edges and little teeny tiny tastebud holes driven through the mortar. The brick withstands all - solid and real -it is my need to be healthy, my desire for knees that don't ache, and back that no longer throbs from the frontage mass.

But the mortar is weak, a conglomerate of struggling willpower, wanting to want to be healthy enough to give up all those delicacies that I enjoy, that lovely pair of size 18 jeans with the rhinestones on the back pockets and an underwire uplift rack for the girls.

The poutine is calling.

I had gravy and smashed tatoes on thanksgiving and left overs the next day. But even the 2nd day I stayed within my limits. I've cut of the liquid grain intake and unfortunately a fair chunk of my social life in the process because I never was good at moderation. I can do it, but I'm starting to not want to and temptation is so much more tempting at this point.

Today I had a hot turkey sandwich on brown (yech) with just a soupcon of gravy and one small ice cream scoop of smashed tatoes - maybe 450 calories - well within limits - but I wanted MORE!!! so I had salad.

I think the worst part about this is that I'm a rather all or nothing kind of girl - very zen. And I'm starting to resent my own goals that I set myself - which makes me WEAK. and then I get angry at myself and don't those chocolate chip cookies look so very tasssty. Where did those stupid raisins go....

new toys new toys new toys

life is good.
Canon is wonderful
and I now have enough back up volume.

it's friday

and I'm on a DO. Think I'll mosey on down to futureshop and get a quote for the new toys. Buying a smaller camera for my trip and a netbook - and we'll see what else ;)

The knees seem to be getting slooowly better but that is most likely with every pound I drop - though it's only been 8 or 9 pounds in almost 4 weeks. I am already impatient - it should be more...

Anyway, think I'm going to have to cancel the twinrex vaccination today - I'm a little sniffly and with the amount of sickness going around at the office I don't think I'll push that particular envelope especially since I have no sick days left until the end of December.

I am already starting to put things in my shiny new suitcases. Which reminds me, I need to find new watershoes. Oh yes, and a - get this - 2 piece bathing suit. OMG! for tanning only ;)

Hmmmm, maybe I'll go for a tan too, a delusional 10 minutes in the sun.

It's a lazy weekend, which after the last one is a very good thing.

the laundry's done, the laundry's done....

well almost.

5 loads on Monday - thanks to Devi the 9 yr old granddaughter making it go faster. I don't actually mind doing laundry but my knees are pretty pissed at the number of stairs required to get it done. So I sloughed last weeks and had 2 weeks worh to do.

Still have a load of blankets and towels - but that'll get done tonight.

It is supposed to be back in the double digits again this weekend YAY!

Me, the hallowe'en is my favorite holiday EVER - has no idea what she will be and there's only 2weeks and 3 days to go.

the 1st hump day of October...

First real snow of the season - right on time - a few weeks before my birthday but after I winterized dakar. Hmmm, I guess I should be gettin' on the replace the front tires bandwagon shortly.

My laundry still isn't done.

My knees hurt more in the last two weeks than they have all freaking year, maybe it's the weather change, or the new shoes. I've lost weight so it's not that - or at least not more than before.

Stupid fkn doctor. The script is supposed to be 2 tabs a day for month, 6 refills. What does she write you ask? 6 tabs, 6 refills. So now I have to go and waste another 2 hours of my precious time with all the sick people at the doctor's office to get a new script written AND pay ANOTHER dispensing fee - when it is HER fault.

I know - I've called the pharmacy who said to call the doctor and I've called the clinic who tried to tell me to call the pharmacy ... not having that ... I've left a message for the doctor, I spoke with the NURSE and the receptionist yesterday to get it fixed and have them fax a new script. Did they? Of course not, why would they do that. Glad my life didn't depend on it. INCOMPETENCE - bah!

On my way home from the bookstore today I did not stop at any of the 10 fast food/sugar shacks. I almost did but I managed to resist. Note to self, take Broad St not Albert when going North.

Dear weatherman:

You are already hiding the sun early and letting it out to play later, so do you think you could let up on the cold water for a bit? This is the flatlands not the freakin' coast.

103 days ....

grumpy

Am I not dilapidated enough that the powers that be see fit to have me wake up with a monster headache - stuffed right up -sore throat etc, when I only have 1 sick day left for the rest of the year?

whine whine bitch ......

113 days

First let me thank all the 100 little gods for the beautiful 29 & 30 degree weather this week - most excellente`!

Second congrats to Dad & Viv who are now officially retired after 30 years together. You should see Viv's new wheels - a big red Jeep, and dad likes it too.

And my son has a new girlfriend, first in a long time, and she was already one of my friends - so we are all happy;) She's lovely inside and out and does dishes when he cooks. Everybody wins. Oh yeah AND yesterday when they popped by to see me at work she brought me a bottle of my favorite Hempz moisturizer. MMMMMMM I smell goodly.

I got to celebrate Guinness' 250th birthday with some of my favorite ladies - the others were elsewhere and I missed them, and my biggest younger brother Kory. Along with a whole other crowd of friends. I'm cross contaminating circles of friends these days and so far it's working out.

Knock wood, I have finally caught up at work and the busiest season craziness has died down a tad. (see me doing the little happy dance) and I am back to thoroughly enjoying my worklife once again. Except for the day after the fire drill - where I had to go down 12 flights of stairs at double my normal pace - so today my knee and my ankle are just a tad pissed off.

I had a meeting with my nemesis yesterday as well and lo and freakin' behold I have now lost 26 pounds in 7 weeks. I'm bitter and angry and whining about wanting at food but I put myself in this place so I can just suck it up and get myself the hell out.

To those of you to whom I have been growly and irascible, my most sincere and humble apologies.

And lastly - only 113 days and it's off to the island bra. Starting on the beachwear this weekend.

Pocket Buddha is a mom

and Heiniken a happy dad. Welcome Oliver to your rather extended framily. We are over joyed at your appearance and I am sure your mother's ankles will forgive you some day.

Congrats to everyone!

new shoes

They are Clarks > lamb/kid black mary janes with some lovely top stitching - beautiful shoes with a squooshy supportive heel and some arch support. I do however feel like I'm 3 years old every time I look down. They remind me of my shiny black going to church patents actually.

They're so comfortable but I've been switching off two pairs of Mephistos for the last year and a half and while the feet are in comfort heaven my bastardized ankle and the lately been crushed knees have the colywobbles from wearing them all day.

There is NO way I would have been able to haul my fat ass out of the pool at the end of aquacize today, but I did do 12 flights of stairs while doing laundry. It's something.

Today I smelled donuts - fresh out of the bakery honey dipped donuts every where I went. Not funny at all.

Dear dk:

how many times do I have to tell you - Don't count your chickens before they freakin' hatch. Murphy is NOT your friend.

graced - I don't know how many

1. Waking up the morning after my first aquacize class since May and finding out that my knees still feel better, the ankle will just have to put up with it.
2. My dad should be a millionaire today - for a little bit until revenue canada takes their cut.
3. It's my friend Deb's birthday today.
4. It's the ides of September and the temp is going to be 28 Celsius.
5. Payday is in 2 days and I still have money in the bank.

i will not pretend

I will not put on a smile.
I will not say I'm alright ...

Thank you Abigail

Martha Wainright B.M.F.A.

friday

hurrah

a monday on a tuesday

and back to work.

I apparently missed an EPIC party this weekends - stupid ankle.

I did purchase material for island wear this weekend - we'll see how that goes ;)

131 days left and 61 pounds to go ... that's the goal.

may the 100 little gods have mercy on me.

I feels a fratrday comin' on

the sun is glowing I'm on a day off - the barby is a happenin' at BKs place for supper and I'm a thinkin' I should grab some ice , make a quick stop at the pub, and simply enjoy a day with no other responsibilities.

sun planning

135 days

still have 4 standups left at brown sugar

best other deal I can find is $160 for 16 standups with 20 points left over.

hmmmmmm

september

There have been crinkled dead yellow leaves on my car every morning for the last 2 weeks. Yesterday the temperature went up to 30 degrees celcius. The kids are all back in school and the new university semester starts next week. It's supposed to go up to 28 degrees today and the forecast has similar temps up to at least Saturday.

WTF?

Understand - I am NOT, I repeat NOT complaining about the beautiful weather this week. But where was this weather IN THE ACTUAL SUMMERTIME?

Ah well whine and cheese time....

My best friend Deb finished her PHD dissertation and got it all sent off to McGill and peasants rejoiced. Now for the defence some time this fall and she'll be Doctor D. Hanging with her through the master's and doctorate has however influenced my decision to attempt my master's when I retire, but there is no freaking way I'm going to Pile it Higher and Deeper. Big shout to Christina of in Montreal who managed through all that life could throw at her to get her thesis delivered before the deadline as well.

THe grands are back in school and devi has a nice but strict teacher - all good for miss tea-granny-bossy-pants, and Seth's teacher this year appears to be quite on the ball and is using online agendas, completely removing the parentals' trial and tribulations from 8 year old boys tendencies to "forget" to bring it home or for that matter - outright hide the damn thing when they've been "outspoken" or "unbiddable" on any given day;)

THe manchild is rockin' 3 jobs - maybe more - and he and dreadlilocks are welcoming a new housemate this week. A little estrogen may make some environmental changes - you never know.

Dad & Viv have finalized the sale of the trailer park and between the chaos of trying to clean sweep themselves of 27 years of accumulated auctions, estate sales, and garage saling they are searching for a new abode - hopefully in town - but dad wants a bit of land to drive his gator around and a double car garage on while Viv wants a bungalow - 3 bedrooms and 2 baths preferable with a solarium and laundry. Took a look at a place out at Pense last week but I think it was a no go.

My seester Liza & BIL Brian will have their 20th anniversary this weekend - CONGRATS. You sure got lucky there Liza. And then Ashley - last in this crop of nephews and neices will turn 19 on the 18th.... time flies

Me. I am still nursing the tibia fracture from my fall 6 weeks ago - it's getting better but it's sure taking it's own sweet time.

hugs to y'all

small things

1. I had clean clothes to wear this morning.
2. I only have 21 letters waiting on my desk (2 weeks worth)
3. I may have found space to store some 330,000 newsletters until after the by-election.
4. The cortizone cream appears to working.
5. I received my ticket information for my holiday. Jan 17/10 at 7 am I am OUTTA here!

4 letters - one word

ACDC SWEEEEET!

blogions

As I have been reminded by my ladies - perhaps it's this horrible excuse for a summer that has me down. I believe that after I take devi (granddotter) for her first "big girl" salon haircut after work, I will go and get me some fake rays at brown sugar. That has never failed to make me feel better.

meh blech

I'm so tired of being me that I just don't even want to fuckin' bother. where'd my passion for life go? I don't care about getting the kitchen done - big D. the Jaymay trip could get cancelled - whatever... Haven't seen my friends for awhile. could give maybe half a damn about the grey hair and whiskers.

WTF is that about?

Dear Mr. Weatherman

You don't have to convince me that it's time for the kids to go back to school. Let up with the rain why don't you.

big deal - so it's friday - meh!

I'm old and tired and bent and busted
my thrice damned knees still can't be trusted
I'm a bit-ter wo-man...

It's raining and cold, had to cancel my campin'
cleanin' out a quansit s'all that'll be happenin'
I'm a bit-ter woman ...

so it's off to the Jaw in Dakar as soon as I get off work - for the second Friday running - and I'll be there till Sunday. Oh YAY!

hmmmm - I will quit whining know.

makes me ponder

Why is it that some of the most important information you receive would be considered heresy in a court of law? Always second hand and re-interpreted, and who's to say that that interpretation is correct? So what does one do with all the mixed up feelings that this information brings on? You can't speak directly to the source, you weren't there for the original conversation, and you weren't there when it passed to your messenger - so is it true or twisted?

And if I do take it to the source what other drama might ensue?

What's more important, my questions or friendship?

Can a friendship withstand so many unspoken questions and still be a friendship?

158 sleeps

got a new swim suit - black and red with a keyhole racer back for actual SMIMMING IN THE OCEAN. It matches my shiny luggage.... hmmmm I may need new water shoes...

something from wickedocity

Five oclock and bumper to bumper fumes billow horns bellow.
A pool of silence in the cacophony of rush hour traffic, alone in my car.

Alone is like being a river - it just goes on never ending,
slowly eroding the need for "the one",
desire sinking quietly into the riverbed to lay fallow and mostly unnoticed.

The longer it lasts, the easier it becomes not to make an effort to change it.
No one to answer to, no one to disappoint, self contained, self-alienated, cloistered.

Watching the thunderstorms of other's lives makes me tired sometimes.

the tree is dead

and I am trying to catch up on 6 weeks of missing sleep while praying to the hundred little gods to make my lower mobile appendages better sooner than later after purchasing shiny red airplane luggage for 164 days from now.

midnite tick tocking by

scccrrreeeccchhhhh .... that is the sound of branches scraping on the metal flashing that protects the cable on the outside of my condo building. multiply nails on a chalkboard by 100000000000. Every time the wins blows. In Saskatchewan. I believe that I am now working on just about two months with very few solid nights sleep except for when I wasn't here or when I crashed from a late night out with the ladies.

I've asked the maintenance guy to prune the freakin tree a week ago. It has been determined that the tree is only 1 foot away from 2 foundation walls so must be removed. But I really really need it pruned before they remove it.

I bought a shiny new axe for camping this year...

180 sleeps to go

to the island mon.

January 17, 2010 cqan not - I say again, CAN NOT come fast enough.

Negril Jamaica - all inclusive - for 2 weeks with a dozen or more friends. Irie.

I can hear the ocean and smell the jerk spice now...

running out of steam

methinks I need to transform the social butterfly persona into a lear jet in order to keep up.

I've had a few lovely visits with Diane and Brenda - future in laws and a great steak supper with the boy, not to mention a backyard bbq with family for autumn's 11th bday and scrabble with deeanna and cocktails with goldie & crew yeaterday for her 19th.

Family pics today after work and maybe dinner - and Keppel should be arriving from Ottawa today as well.

anyone have a 10 foot pruning arm or a really sharp axe. The tree outside my window is now big enough to scrape its branches along the metall flashing protecting the cable wiring on the outside of the building and it is like fingernails on a chalk board. I just want to sleep for 5 or 6 hours in a row....screeech clickety clack screeeech.

Hopefully I'll make it out to the Jaw this weekend to see the dad and I think the boy might be tagging along as well. )Note to self - don't forget the kids thank you notes for the snorkel gear) and get back into town for Kyllo & Jaime's housewarming.

Sunday is the first meeting of Negril bound to make the decisions on dates etc for our trip in January 2010. I've never been further south than South Dakota - even though I've been across Canada - and AM I EXCITED!!!

Cheers brothers and sisters and enjoy the summer even if it doesn't really feel like it.

apparently I've been busy ;)

Here it is the 2nd week of July and it's been SO long since I've blogged a thing.

A double handful of birthdays (and 2 of my friends turned the big 50), 2 new babies and a third today maybe, 3 bachelorette parties and a wedding shower and a baby shower, 2 weddings, one wedding dress, a dress for me, a trip to Moose Jaw, a funeral, a few nights out with the ladies and gents, time with my grandkids, and 8 glorious days of camping at Madge Lake.

Yet I feel energized and I am sleeping 5 or 6 hpours a night. Yea! Me!

and now to the next leg of the summer.

fix the car window, get groceries, meet the in-laws to be, another trip to Moose Jaw, paint PJs basement, more birthdays, company from Ontario next week, 3 more weddings (2 on Aug 1st), another bachelorette party and 2 housewarmings, all in the next 3 weeks.

And I have to finish processing the almost 1000 pics I took at anarchy's wedding and honeymoon campout - I'm only a third of the way done.

breathe .....

it's raining

it's pouring
the lightning gods are roaring ...
the wind whips up,
the temps go down
and everything's fresh in the morning ;)

heatin' up

ahhh the prairie heat is back, and with the leftovers from the previous week of rain it's Georgia muggy and promises of thunderstorms in the evening. fine with me. Have fan, don't care.

trying to get my to do list ta done. mostly the stuff for other people is all happening now if only I could motivate myself to do my own stuff.

it's been pretty quiet round the homestead except for when Sethkin spent the night, but you're not likely to find quiet around an 8 year old boy unless he's crashed where he stopped. busy as the ever ready bunny and going through a cheeky defiant period at the same time. glad I'm just the grandma;)

got the plans for the kitchen done - have to go over them with Brian and hopefully in August or September I'll have cupboards and a new sink. who hoo!

One last bridal shower, 2 birthdays in the next week and 5 more weddings to go till Aug 1/09. oh yeah!

HUGE excited for Anarchy's nuptuals and the camping afterwards. I might even have my window fixed before I go.

and the theme from grease just popped into my head .... no worries

It's June and it's beautiful and I'm at work.

Whatever - I'll be off in a few hours.

I've been busy as a whirling dervish for days , maybe weeks now, but the major projects are accomplished, the planning just about done and now it's just a matter of waiting for the dates to roll around. caming camping camping.

I have the most wonderful group lady friends, they are absolute dolls !

neighbour hoods

strangers with loose dog.
Daughter asks them to remove it from her yard, leash it.

Result - a punch in the face by a total stranger in her own freaking yard.

Police have caught the perp.

(perp. hahahahahah so that show about the police station from the 70s maybey with Barney in it)

3 weeks later

busy busy busy. I've even had a few 24=hours of no PC.

Ckeaned out my closet and took all the blankets etc for drycleaning

fertilized plants and put on watering schedule that I am attempting to maintain.

Care tuned up, 2 new tires and 3 days in Swan River with the cousins, my dotter and the grands - it was great.

Crazy at work but I am now sort of caught up.

Finished seth's dinosaur pics.

burned pics from Swan for everyone and out the last disk in the mail friday.

FINALLY submitted everything for my first passport.

Am still working on plans for kitchen reno but Rochelle is going to each me the tinwork and her dad knows a guy for the tin.

The wedding project is almost done. Underskirt needs last hem, and the tunic needs a body in it before I put it all together. Ahead of schedule. Then I can stuff together for camping.

sunday

and it was! Thank you oh hundred little gods for letting Ra come out to play! I basked for several hours and my solar cells seem to finally be replete. That does not however mean that I would not sincerely appreciate regular play dates.

Life

like gravity,
sucks.

I do so love it when I'm pity tripping.

Going to bed now and hopefully the new day will be better.

pocket buddha has directed me to randomly tag myself - nice trick that
The rules of this meme are as follows:
- Respond to and rework the meme.
- Answer the questions on your own blog.
- Replace one question and add one question.
- Tag 8 people
abigail road,
la diva,
smyrish,
saviabella,
Mrs.Mogul,
citizen,
bramsole,
Catherinette

What are your current obsessions?
Abigail's wedding dress, the kitchen renos and travel.

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
My 2 favorite bras, my cushy blue wool socks, my mephistos and my Elton John hoody - though I did pick up this fabulous yellow blouse that looks like shantung silk which will soon become a fave I'm sure.

What's for dinner?
food. probably something healthy. blech !!

What is your greatest fear at the moment?
That my kitchen won't get done this summer

What are you listening to?
about 6 other conversations and the hum of my fan which is usually loud enough to drown those people out. Apparently my hearing is extra acute today.

If you were a god/goddess what would you be?
Hmmmm, perhaps Innana or maybe Mahadevi.

What are your favourite holiday spots?
All the places I haven't gone yet and Swan River Manitoba

What are you reading right now?
Beyond the Dragon's Mouth by Shiva Naipaul.

What are four words that describe you?
four is not enough.

What is your guilty pleasure?
pedicures and kentucky fried chicken ... I know!

What is one thing you could never live without?
I dig the music device, but if all else fails I can at least hum a happy tune. I need people - or some way to communicate with people, other than the ones already in residence.

What is your favourite spring thing to do?
Walk in freshly cut grass in barefeet to the deck and sit in the glorious sun with my friends and enjoy a pint or 2.

Where are you planning to travel next?
Swan River for my twin Aunties 65th birthday. Party at the legion with the whole damn town ;)

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
roasted turkey & fresh tomatoe sandwich on ancient grains bread.

When was the last time you were tipsy?
Sometime around the end of March, though I wish I was right now.

What is your favourite ever film?
The LOTR trilogy but I wish Tom Bombadil was in there somewhere .. Oh and Dangerous Liasons

What is the biggest life lesson you've learned from your kids?
Pick your fights on your ground.

What song can't you get out of your head?
w w workin' at the carwash - hmmm hmm hmhmh hmmm workin' as a car wash er..wowowowowo

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
Actually I just did. I read Catcher in the Rye and was so nonplussed. and all.

What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
My olfactory and hearing senses are extremely sensitive - though that might just be the undiagnosed ADD ;)

Hey you

What are you looking at?

Could you move your head just a little to the left please?










gotcha!

my lovely devi

My 8 year old grandotter wrote this in 10 minutes for my dotter when she got in a wee bit o'trouble the other day: original spelling

To: My favorit Mommy in the WORLD

You made me swim like a fish,
I love you more than barries,
And very often I wish,
That we could be married.

You’re my favorit mom in the world,
And I Love you for who you are,
I wish I could fly up into space,
And bring you back a star.

Love: Devi

I gots me tickets!!!!

ridin' on

what a GREAT weekend! GIST

1. 3 uninterrupted days to spend with my dad, to chat and talk money, politics, city planning, how fast snow melts, which is better strawberry or raspberry, tree reforestation, rates of orchard growth, basic mechanics, a lesson in computer familiarity, the vagaries of a good cup of coffee, what to do with a million bucks and a plethora of other topics.
2. Watching Shall We Dance with my dad because that's what HE wanted to watch. No wonder I love ballroom so much.
3. Cooking for someone who REALLY appreciates it and watching them stuff themselves sleepy.
4. Taking the Gator out for the first spring tour.
5. Baked ham with my family for easter supper. Funny that we eat ham when Jesus was a jew and they aren't allowed to eat pork. Maybe that's why we eat ham.... hmmm

everything's relative

The jawline is relatively normal.
I'm relatively caught up at work.
I'm spending easter weekend between the relatives.
I'll be relatively happy if I get tickets to AC freaking DC for my son (who was too young in 1988)myself and perhaps the grandson.
Dakar is relatively clean.
My niece Tray is relatively safe - she's in Roma - and felt the earthquake. Thank the 100 little gods for blog updates.
And I am relatively tired of relativity.

a new week

So here's to hoping that the last few weeks were the end of the body's traitorous acquisitions of various virii.

Work's not too behind, I made this killer homemade coconut cream pie with hand toasted coconut... mmmmmm. Low fat - no added sugar(splenda) and mostly milk so it's even good for you ;) I was however forced to remember that I smashed to smithereens, my mom's deep dish glass pie pan in December, and have yet to replace it. So I used my round enamel roaster, worked great and even has a lid that doesn't interfere with the whipped cream.

Off to MJ on Thursday to stay with my dad for a few days while his wife is out of town and then back for easter with the grands. Mandy is cooking the ham for Sunday. A nice little family gathering.

However, between the family diversions I do intend to take Saturday nite off and visit my friends I haven't seen in what seems like forever and pop down to the pub as well. mmmm Guinness, I missed you too.

the vinyl vault: first 10

I was catching up on some blogs the other day and Abigail has a new meme which I need to borrow: 25 top albums that shaped your life - couldn't resist.
The rules are:
Think of 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you and how they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions, etc. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. No being cool, which albums have you actually listened to thousands of times? Please note that some of these are single songs since it was all about the 45s when I started buying vinyl ;)

1. In 1966 My best friend Cora Lynn and I used to karoke Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Were Made For Walking" on our front steps. They were brick and built so there were 2 arms to use as separate stages. With the song came the knowledge that I am not a carpet.

2. In grade school Halfbreed by Cher: reflected how I din't really fit in anyone's expectations because mine were already so vastly different. Her version of the Long and Winding Road became my theme for ever time we moved (every 2 years - dad was a banker)

3. Donny Osmond's singles - They were probably compliled on a best of album somewhere but these songs made me and my girlfriends sing in grades 4 and 5. One Bad Apple (which my dad occasionally called me), YoYo (which I used to dance to at the bus stop when I was delivering papers at 6:30 am. the first time the ticket clerk was scandalized but after that she just smiled and occasionally nodded her head, and Puppy Love (my first boy girl dance with Steven)

4. Michael Jackson's Ben - except for me it was my cat Snooper.

5. Harmony by Three Dog Night - One, Old Fashioned Love Song, & Black and White. I started to play it in 1973, My mantras in grade 6, I was 12? and they explained Me, Me & Love, and Me & the World. First Album I ever purchased in fact.

6. Alice Cooper - School's Out. Bought the album while attending catholic school and wearing the first pair of hot pants. Pink jersey with monet style flowers in yeoow and orange. Crazy Hot.

7. John Denver Rocky Mountain High - back when I still liked country music, grade 7, and totally misunderstood what he meant by rocky mountain high ;)

8. April Wine : the album with Oowatanite on it. Cow Bell. C'mon quit wastin' time!!!!

9. Elton John's Good Bye Yellow Brick Road - what can say? Perfect for an angst ridden antisocial 13 year old.

10. Heart - any album - Strong women can be anything they choose.... baracuda!

5 days later

well I'm somewhat better but still exhausted. Antibiotics are starting to help the bronchitis but the quietude is getting to me. Too much time to think. Regrets and memories popping out of nowhere.

At the beginning of grade 2, about the same age my grandson is now, I had an affinity for the limitless sky and I talked to the moon. I made my first visit to the Winnipeg planetarium that autumn, just before my birthday and it was a REALLY BIG DEAL. Over a hundred students, though it seemed like thousands, filed into the amphitheater, voices hushed, punctuated with the occasional childish squeal. Directed to our seats, we climbed into them as anticipation throbbed like a second heartbeat.

The lights dimmed, words poured out of the void and my seat tilted back as an evening sky dimmed to royal, then deepest blue shading to obsidian. My breath caught and the first nano brightness appeared in the northern sky. Like pinpricks through LiteBrite, stars were born and coalesced into the milky way spinning across my own personal universe, so close I could have reached out and caught one in my hand.

Old Sol flaring alive with heat, the realization that the sun really was a star illuminating a newborn landscape in my imagination. The planets, no longer two dimensional pictures in the Reader's Digest World Atlas but spinning nonchalantly through the night sky, immense and heavy, the colours surreal. First love happened then and there, I never wanted to leave.

The questions that trip engendered are some of the same questions I am still asking myself 40 years later. The awe and wonder of the magnitude of the universe beats in my heart still.

The next summer,1969, I was 7 1/2, Apollo 11 landed on the moon and humankind took its first steps on a different planet. Utterly mesmerized by the foggy images on our black and white television, I ached to be an astronaut walking on Mars and fly through the rings of Saturn.

Anything was possible to me then. No matter that my teachers told me I couldn't, my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be, and that the others who nay sayed me would forever limit themselves by their own unbelief.

The sheer gloriousness of believing that I would someday walk among the stars was my shield against the drudgery and angst of everyday life. Childish as it was, I could go there and hide from all the ugliness of reality.

But time passes and glories dim. Failures intrude and living pushes those dreams into the nooks and crannies reserved for ancient history. Until one night while camping, lying in a field with the endless sky above you, the artesian well of hidden joy springs forth and lifts your heart on a magic carpet ride through the milkyway, just a hand's breadth away.

Another reason to always remain 8 years old.

I love spring

The flue 3 weeks ago, snow mould, and too much time around furry animals equals hack hack gurgle spit cough, unscratchable itch, 3 hours sucking up a variety of other unknown virii at the clinic, and no freaking sleep.

I love spring.

ready in fifteen -

Toss the cordless across the room, convoy arrival in,

15 minutes: Quicksort the closet: work, social, out, formal, alternate season and or size.
Parameters: Season? (woe betide those in this situation at change of season when everything is fair game) Where? When? Who? Party or pints? What did I wear there last?

Spring+pub+Satevening+crew&Oldfriend(fair missed)+blujeans whitehodievest= Blk jeans RB Penguin tee jacket

11 minutes: personal hygiene

7 minutes: Mineral particulate clings to horsehair, the gentle sweep grants release to settle into crannied nooks transforming reality to delusion. Tortuous steel teeth force kinks into place of natural arcs. Sticks of wax and unknown oily bits redefining planes and curves, provoking false perceptions, and inviting alternate possibilities.

*** howling in silent glee as I reread that last ;)

2 minutes: dressed, shod, and wrapped,(wriggle pull tuck) purse/phone/cash/maybe camera.

A touch of scent, she locks her door from the inside.

The phone rings, right on time.

tip toe

through the tulips,
in the garden,
taht is where I'll be .....

ROTFL - then I get this vision of my sister and myself with 30 pounds of caked mud up our legs trying to clear dad's raspberry garden ... beautiful.

stupid gardens.

happy birthday Murray

It is hard to believe you are 26 today and yet so easy to see. I love you. I am proud of who you are whatever you may think. You are so very talented and generous. I am looking forward to supper. Huge dk hugs.

Irish for a day

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone - may you live in interesting times ;)

doin' the nod

Setting: on a wild a wicked windy winter wednesday wench wends her way past bushes so fozen the twigs crackle and pop with each blustery blow. Unbeknowst to our heroine steam seeps from the tendrils of shower damp hair peeking out of her parka hood to create a personal fog that follows everywhere she steps.

A brazen 13 story block of semi modern cement beckons ...

Enter wench: (a mad dash from the taxi to the front door)sotto mumble: thank the hundred little gods the auto lock is turned off this time of morning she reaches to her face to wipe the encroaching fog from her specs only to find that she isn't wearing any. what the ...? her brows scrinch down upon the bridge of her nose and she flutters her worn gloves in front of her face seeking clearer air without any luck.

She heaves the door open and the wind slams it against the safety rail on the other side, clanging and banging echoes through the elevator foyer of a workplace barren of its denizens except for the singular security guard at 7:30 in the morning.

Morning Lman the usuaul smile absent from her normally cheerful visage
The security guard chuckles Cold enough for ya?
muttering under her breath as she stabs the UP button everyone's a f.... comedian!

The elevator opens onto her floor aromatic with the scent of early morning coffee, after a brief arguement with the door combination lock she finally makes it into her cubicle to divest herslef of the winter layers needed for survival this week of the ides of March. Mumbling to herself as she peels, This coat is too freakin heavy, the scarf scratches, damn, dropped the stupid glove again, where's I put my smokes, gowd I need caffeine, why is the PC on? where'd I put that urgent file - ouch... damn file drawer ...

you get the picture... by 2:00pm she is quietly doing the nod as the sugar from the kung pao chicken combines with the burgeoning heat rising from the floors below. Hope she doesn't snore ;)

Mr. Winter's response:

I am a cold hearted mother.... and it sucks to be you.

Dear Winter:

I submit. You are all powerfull. You have trodden the strongest hearts and wills into bloody heartcicles and we are done in. We are depressed and cold and tired and cold and bitchy and cold and we really only like our beer cold. Which by the way, you manage to freeze when left in the trunk for 4 hours.

Please go south and/or north for your hibernatory period and allow us to refresh our memories of warmth, and sun that has heat, and walks around the lake that don't see one frozen in place on the Trafalger bridgehead. Or go to Cuba I hear it's nice there this time of year.

The winter blues, the flue, the ague, the sniffles, headcolds, bronchitis, pneumonia, arthritis, bursitis, excema will follow your recession into the hinterland and the peasants will rejoice.

Please make us happy and go away.

With all my heart,
the frozen flatlands

I read it on the internets ...

so it's true.

Patty & dk are skinny bitches.

Ten random things beginning with the letter G:

An invitation to meme from Saviabella : you get a random letter assigned to you and then you create a list of your ten favourite things that begin with that letter. Savia has assigned me with the letter G.

As a G stream of consciousness:

1. Good times - c'mon, that was a Gimme ..... LOL I kill me!

2. Gigabytage - the more the better and in this case size does in fact matter. I am now flirting with Terabytage .... what can I fill it up with?

3. Gin. Specifically Bombay Gin .... with soda, a splash of tonic (enough so that it glows in the dark) and lime juice with wedges. In a Pint glass, doubled. On the deck ....ah it all goes back to summer.

4. The word "gadzooks" which is commonly used as an exclamation. However Deb & I looked up the etymology this morning and it comes from "God's hooks: as in the nails used in the crucifixion of Christ. I guess in this case a painful exclamation. Sometimes I think I should just star iggerrant.

5. The ideology of the "Goddess", the "great Mother", and Gaia", all gals with a plan and an understanding of how we are all interconnected.

6. Gargoyles: the protective ones not the evil slimy ones.

7. Gangster movies, the old black and whites, stylin'.

8. Guns: the noise they make and the damage they do. Respectfully, and in a good way, and not on people. I am an avid ingestor of the wild. Elk, deer, moose, bison. Have you ever tried to catch your dinner with a bow & arrow? It's usually NOT. But the feeling - like electric shock, when you are shooting ... like heroin only better.

9. Galapagos - my dream dream vacation, a month just drifting from island to island - well, not really drifting, how about sailing ... yes - that's it! The fecundity of that part of the earth is limitless.

10. Grapefruits. Sweet and tart. What a saucy breakfast. The juice without sugar so it puckers your kisser, specially the ruby red ones. I eat them like oranges.

And as a bonus G-Man. You know who you are ;)
G, G,, let's sing the song of Geeeeeeee.

4 days off and it's -35 ... hurry up spring

It is too cold to trudge over to Bitten - only 7 blocks away to go to my belated staff christmas party. I have wasted many hours now trying to reinstall my Sims game with no success though I did make it work on my daughter's PC. I had to uninstall it when the boys got a virus on my laptop. I had it working, the I broke it with the add ons. Damn.

But the plumber is coming tomorrow to install my new kitchen taps, since I broke the hot tap off in my hand on Christmas day - only 2 years old and I had them custom ordered. Not happy Home Depot. Hopefully I'll have a visit with my son, a quick tan, then birthday cake with not-so-crazy Patty's crew and pints with Clinton if he's around and about.

Saturday an early visit to PJ's, maybe tea with Saviabella, and a casual evening over at Dixie Chick's.

I started a different blog ... wickedocity ... it is not politically correct. Consider yourself warned should you venture there.

hmmm ... humpday

It is actually winter out today, it was -27 this morning yet now when I gaze out the 12th story window, sunlight almost blinds me with its radiance, though there is little heat partnered with it. The weather has ben just freakin' wonky the last few weeks, but that really isn't a strangeness, it just hasn't been February for a year. Saturday it was so nice out I didn't have to wear socks for Scrabble with Team Mensa!

Today I'm tired - I think I am sleeping with my eyes open - but how do you tell - when you are asleep. All I know is that since before Christmas, everymorning when I wake up there is a .5cm section of BOTH my eyeballs that is bloodshot. It's as if my eyes aren't quite closed - so if I open them all the way, the rest of the eyeball is normall whiteness... I have tried to catch myself just as I wake up but that's not working. And now I've noticed that I believe I can see things even when my eyes are completely closed, like looking through tissue paper. Perhaps I am developing super menopausal powers, that would be kind of cool, or at least a bit of a trade off.

I find that I am completely unable to become enthused over other people's new pets. That sucks. I have been a friend to cats everywhere my whole life, and had some fun with dogs (though they still see a bit stupid to me - even the smart ones) but now that I have become allergic to them, the instantaeous cmraderie I used to feel when meeting a new feline friend has fizzled to almost nothing. Waaaah! As for the dogs - sure puppies are cute, until they pee on you, or the rug, or the cat. Mostly they're like mewling puking newborns... hmmmm perhaps some pent up angst there?

I like kids once they are around two and a half. Out of diapers and talking. THEN they're fun!

stock taking

No it is not a new and improved version of Stock Ticker, nor it is an inventory for a retail outlet, or a really good deal in the market. It's what I need to do to help get myself out of the doldrums.

First, what's getting me down? Winter, other people going on faraway vacations to sunny beaches, the infernal saskatchewan dust - in the winter with all the windows closed (well except mine in my bedroom), being obese, my knee going wonky on and off, never finding exactly what it is I want to do, barely anything amusing on TV, not being able to find a carwash that is either working or doesn't have a line up a block long, chin hair, smoking, not doing what I now I should do for my own health and peace of mind, my dad getting sick again, other people that I love having crappy things happen to them, not finding my best tweezers, having to do my taxes.

Hmmmm... oh my life is SOOOOOOO hard. Sometimes I really have to wonder at myself. I think I'm having a hard time being grateful for the good time I'm living. What a whiny bitch I have become.

On the otherside of down, what keeps me up? Lots of truly great friends, a relatively stable family (it's all in the perspective), a good job doing work that I like with great people, I have lost over 30 pounds since January but I'm not sure where from, stand up tanning booths (my cure for light deprivation - just wish I'd done it sooner), a lovely little set of wheels that has given me some serious mobile freedom, my iPod, knock wood - no virii on my PCs, happy grandkids, Sat Scrabble with Team Mensa, aquacize when I don't talk myself out of it, a sugaring for leg hair removal.

Okay, I have to go cogitate on this a bit. cheers.

almost thursday

It's been a long week for such a short one. Hope to catch up a bit tomorrow. Slacked off and didn't go to aquacize with Abigail today. I'm going to try sugaring my legs on Friday - we'll just see how that goes. I am NOT fond of waxing, so I take the old fashioned rote and shave. But I'm tired and really haven't done much to day so g'nite.

Friday the 13th - WOO HOO!

Hey little sister what have you done.....

This week's list is so long I'll skip it to say that by 9:30 this am, I am caught up at work. My sister's valentine dilemma is solved, her Ipod is now working and she has memorized the basics on how to manage her tunes. My laundry is thawed AND dry. I've not eaten anything after 8pm all week.

Yesterday as my valentine's treat for myself (one advantage of singletonism is actually getting what you want), I signed up for some fake and bake as a cure for systemic lightlessness - great place actually, called Brown Sugar on Dewdney, couple of bonzer standups and this new hitech better faster machine ... great space, nice vibe, candles on the floor and an aromatherapist and masseuse on premise. Check it out ;)

And work - my ongoing nemesitical partner - is GREAT today. Projects wrapped, Newsletter off to publisher, and correspondence up to date and maybe a teensy weensy bit ahead. Cleared the in/out trays, did the weekly shredding (which hasn't been done since before christmas) and cleaned my desk. Rewrote my contact lists and will clean out the email before end of day.

And Seth my 7 almost 8 grandson is coming for a sleepover tonight. We'll have to figure something out for supper, then he'll want to do the recycling - he loves to wander in the basement hallways of my condo building. The building will be a hundred in 2014 so the basement is all warren-y. Most likely we'll play frustration, have a game of chess and watch a movie. Tomorrow we're off to Miss PJs bright and early to lend a hand fixing a door and do some vacuuming and maybe a bit of a tinker on the PC.

After Seth goes home I have 3 days off (except for some household chores I need to get done) . Saturday afternoon is Scrabble with the ladies at ye old pub, and I still have no idea what I will be taking to potlach at anarchy's later on the heart day!

empty headed

the voices left

Is it Friday yet?

By the hundred little gods - I need six uninterupted hours of sleep - at night. No hot flashes today - yeaHHHHH! The caribou I had for supper was mmm-mmmm-goood. Fade ms. moon fade.

selective hearing

I wish I had it. It took me alot of effort to try and eradicate the skills learned in teenland, and now I find myself wishing I had them back. I wouldn't have to recognize the pain in peoples voices. I could blithely walk away from those auditory appeals that follow tone and timbre not words. It would be so much easier to delude myself. Sometimes delusion is good.

sleepless

My life is pretty good.
The lives of those closest to me are not.
I've done all I can.
It's not enough.
I can not stand to watch that kind of pain and not feel the need to fix it.
The nightmares won't stop.
I know that it's subconscious guilt.
Doesn't make one iota of difference.
I'm always crying inside.
The voices are making me crazy.

sunday doldrums

The bday party was great on Friday, Kev was happy, a rousing game of LOTR Monopoly was played (it even has the one ring) where Jaime the slum-mistress was kicking ass and taking properties. it was potlach so I made this tasty shepherd's pie my way: bison brie bison havarti onions celery garlic and herbed smashed potatoes with Monterrey jack and mozza on top. It was gone lickety split - Yeah!

Saturday was spent with at the Winter Caleigh - playing Scrabble, quaffing a few pints with a few dozen friends old and new. D&J made it down with Dalindy and dragged in a couple of WOW friends from Ontario - another DK no less and he was hilarious! We toasted the Brennan's bday in absentia - the dancing king is still in Oz.

And now after a great night's sleep I am fired up and ready to attack the household horrors. Unfortunately I have now made three fruitless trips down to the communal laundry and have yet to get a load in. My enthusiasm quickly wanes. I still need to vacuum, clean the biffy, and hopefully make a dent on the crap I need to clean sweep from my room so I can lay out the pattern pieces for the sewing project. As the day creeps forward I don't appear to be getting anywhere fast. Ah me....

So I shall make another trip to the bowels of the condo and see yet again if there is a washer open - and I will remember to take the recyclables this time ...

bitters

After work, which was better yesterday because I seem to at least have gotten a small handle on my desk, I was on my way to aquacize, my concerted effort to get healthier with Abigail twice a week. I had already missed Monday and found myself really looking forward to the pool and the hottub and sauna afterwards. Anyway - the Dakar and I were stopped at a stop sign on 15th, which still has some nasty partial rut ridges impeding steering control, when Dakar and I were not so gently nudged forward by another vehicle that did not stop quite - in - time.

AAARRGGHHHH! Not my Dakar... panic mode! But there she was, all in one peice, a little dirt scuffed off the bumper - all gouda. And the other car was fine too. But the driver - the one who hit me, not so good. Granted she had what looked like an expensive shiny car, but it was her front rubber bumper that pushed my plastic one and you couldn't even tell that she had smudged the dirt off hers - digression - but she was fussing and fideting and whatisissing ...

I was fine - no damage and I wanted to get going. I went to get the DL and Reg just for records sake and sop the woman's fears when I realized that they were in my back pack at home because I don't take anything of value with me to the pool. Not Good. So there I am searching my car that I keep too clean for a busines card with my info, and the pretty princess skirt for my bathing suit is waving in the wind out the bottom of my jacket because I put it on at home to save time once I get to the pool. Lovely.

After 45 minutes of trying to mollify the tizzy old woman, I gave her my number and left. Funny how I automatically drove to my dotter's (too late for class now) and collected some grandhugs. Then I had to apologize to Deb and Abigail because it never even entered my mind to let them know I was okay. Shame on me.

So this morning I'm a little stiff - but no stiffer than the day after aquacize or a day of Wii games. Mr. IBProfen and I know how to conquer that.

I guess I'm just bitter about the complete waste of time that women sucked out of my life.

dear sucks to be you

"I don't know what to do." - stop whining and figure out what you need to do, AND DO IT!!!

"Why does this always happen to me?" - you invite it by refusing to break out of your cycle of loserdom.

"Why can't I get a break?" - you didn't earn it yet you lazy ass

"I never get to do anything?" - maybe if you smiled once in a while you'd get invited

" but she... but he... but they..." - shut the hell up & take responsibility for your own shite.

In the end it's both what you do and what you do not do that shapes your life.

Choose.

hmmm, I seem a bit cynical today.

dear no life codgers

Please go whine and complain elsewhere. I am quite fed up with your idiosyncratic poor me stories based upon little or no fact, and without a genourous dollop of imagination.

Your negativity is curdling my mornings, and moulding my afternoons.

Happily February is a short month, and once the winter doldrums start to take themselves off, I have hopes that the general tone will improve.

Really, get a Wii, go to Arizona, take a few miles cross country on the sled - but get a life.

ground hog day

surprise

6 more weeks of winter

it's fuckin' Monday, go back to bed.

what did I do?

I must have done something ... more than the usual, but I'm not sure what. When I ask, I get hmmm .... no real answer, but I'm certainly being cut out. No more certain way to drive me over the bend. Being the blunt and forward person that I am, I try and deal with a problem right there. Then it can be resolved - or not - but at least there can be some understanding. I thought I was conforming but I guess not. Chock it up to experience I guess.

the solitude of strength

A Leonard Cohen tune that seems to reverb through my brain today.

I grew up with "be strong", "if you want a job done right do it yourself", "work for it", "family first".

It can be a very lonely place.

...so a few hours later I look at the above^ and wonder which personality felt the need to express itself through my most normal mode of expression. It must be one of the repressed ones because I occasionally have to self edit. A few particular uninvited visitors from the -ugh!- real world.)
I got into the yoga pants (read stretchy and seamless but cotton not spandex)amd released the sisters from their tortue francais. Deck shoes, a glass of fine Napolean Brandy, coffee break, a ciggy and out to the deck I go. It's beautiful out, snow softly drifting down. ...3 bick walls surrounding me ... breathe.

Let the groove settle, crank the iPod and dance and sing on the deck for half an hour. Need more brandy.

Thank the hundred little gods that tomorrow is Friday.

I go thome,

I don't want it back, keep it.

1. a kleenex after use
2. a toothbrush that falls in the toilet.
3. either ex husband
4. a cold
5. the 21 pounds i have lost this month

small graces 2/09

1. Happy grandkids.
2. Arms that work the dayafter aquacize.
3. Rising temperatures.
4. green chai
5. peanut butter icing.
6. peer pressure ;)

creepy nightcrawlin' february blues

Other people call them winter blues. I do not. It is not winter's fault. It's the fault of mother earth's axial tilt and the shorter expanse of daylight hours. If she didn't flirt with the sun so, it wouldn't be an issue. It is then aggravated by peoples' nonconformance to enjoy freezing their arses and various other stickyouty appendages off during a flatlands winter day.

The last 3 days for example have registered temperatures colder than Xandru's 39th hell, minus 34-37 celcius BEFORE the wind chill, which makes the reality of frozen eyeballs just a quick walk to the store at something around minus 45 freaking below. brrr brrr fucking brrrrr.

And even if you make it through the whole forshortened day, the night just goes on and on and on, the tendency to sleep longer earlier later kicks in and then your whole cycle is pooched. My downstairs neighbours must be deaf because deb and I have been taking shifts every 2 hours poppin' up wide awake - no particular reason - doing the nightcrawler shuffle. Have a glass of water - nope. I'm hungry, look in fridge - nope. Have a couple drags of a smoke - nope. Go to the bathroom - nope. Any thing on TV - nope. Read a book - HAH! - nope. Go back to bed and hope you can sneak upon dreamland once again. By the end of Jnauary - you are ALWAYS tired.


Ahhh where was I? Oh yes, the light lustre days are actually getting longer - noticably YAHOO!!! Warm comes later. I've found 3 cures for winter blues. A vacation to where there is sun and a minimum of 12 hours a day of intense light (not that I get to go there but I watch my friends as thy leave and return ... heavy sigh).

Fake baking once every 2 weeks even - just for 5 minutes - really - it makes a world of difference. Have a smoke, put the tunes on and dance around in an upright booth buck naked for 15 minutes and the world is shiny and new! Don't worry - you don't have to look at yourself, you've got the suntanning blinder eyes on, so dance like no one is watching - no one is ;)

On a less extreme note find the window in your house that gets the noon to 4 oclock sun. Pull a chair into the path of the light fantastic, read a book, watch tv, have a nap - I don't care. But spend a couple of hours in direct light - like a plant, it'll perk you right up.

Well have to run. It's haul my ass to aquacize to get rid of the fatoldladyitiss I've allowed to weigh me down. It's all about escapism ;)

hide - february's coming.

change is eternal ...

almost hump day

Has anyone else noticed that the winter blues have kicked hard into gear - even though we've got this lovely little warm spell (warm equals warmer than -20C) Nice enough one day to make some puddles ;) I love puddles - especially first thing on a frosty morning when the icy skin is like fragile 100 year old glass. It crackles happily when you crush it, but sometimes you can hear the moan of it bending to the point of fracture - fighting for its physical integrity all the way.

As you can see I am easily distracted by shiny things even if I am the only one who can see them. Makes any attempt at meditation totally pointless, unless perhaps just a stream of consciousness release? Well it's an option.

Wells - smothering voids rank with the decay of earthly erosion or wellsprings of life. You decide. For me - it depends on the day, hour, minute ... Ding dong dell, pussy's in the well...

I haven't heard the bells on the glockenshpiel recently, I wonder if they turn it off in the winter or if their clappers are frozen? One of the best things about sunday morning is the intoning of the local church bells - all at odds with one another ... religious cacophony.

Celebrate difference.

decisions ...

help someone or be selfish?

and you do it to yourself.

I will always be 8 years old

I read this on my cousin's FB page - and though I've heard it before it struck a nerve. I don't remember who originally coined it but:

childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at that age the child is grown, and puts away childish things. childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies

As long as they are in your heart they're never truly gone.

the dirges ...

I used to fake bake once a week from Nov to March - for the light and the to the bone heat. I should probably be doing that now.

2009 first small graces

1. Thinsulate mittens.
2. Fuzzy homemade scarves from your friends.
3. Pants that still fit after the holidays
4. Friends to exercize with.
5. The first payday after christmas;)